A real positive to losing mum

Fullticket

Registered User
Apr 19, 2016
486
0
Chard, Somerset
As funerals go it was a good one: no solemn bits and plenty of memories of a mum/grandmother/aunt/ friend/club member who got up to some really naughty things in her day! The vicar did ask permission before saying it but, as mum was as mad as a box of frogs, the sentiment was apt - sent off with her red high heels and her matching handbag. The flowers from my brother and I were returned to the florist and broken down into posies and an Easter wreath to go to the care home.
At the 'wake' afterwards two sides of the family who have not spoken for years (why is buried deep in the past and no-one can really remember why it started) got together and have exchanged contact details. Mum refused to take sides in the dispute, I remember that much, so yesterday was a really positive day- and the sun shone.
 

pipd

Registered User
Apr 12, 2015
75
0
Leigh on Sea Essex
Glad you feel that way too. Sometimes it feels wrong for me to say to people who ask me about my mum's funeral that I really 'enjoyed' it. It was the perfect send off for her and was filled with a good mixture of, memories tears and smiles with a few lovely songs to remember her by too. I came away from the funeral feeling bright and positive too. Obviously still miss my mum hugely but I am starting to just remember the good times we had together and am forgetting the dementia times. Funerals do not always have to be sad occasions and can be a wonderful way to celebrate all that was good about the person.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,444
0
Kent
Taking positives from sad times is wonderful @Fullticket.

A friend of mine lost her dad. She and her mum had to sell dad's car. There was an instant attraction between the person who bought the car and my friend and they were married within six months .

My friend had had a disastrous first marriage and had been adored by her dad. It was as if he`d had a hand in finding happiness for her.
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
7,085
0
Chester
I'd seen you mention on other threads about your mum dying, but wasn't the place to post condolences.

I do enjoy hearing about the person who has died at funerals, I have been to a few of the older generation of cyclists over the years, and whilst I have known one aspect of them, it is nice to hear about the other bits of their lives often before I have known them.

It is nice to make funerals a celebration of the person's life.

I went to a funeral in January last year which was desperately sad, a lad my daughter's age (15) who had died in his sleep (it turned out it was a heart attack with multiple previous heart attacks), but through the tears it was still lovely to hear, and laugh at all the mischievousness he had got up to.

A funeral as it should be - a celebration of life, and the personality of the person shining through, including red high heels and matching handbag.
 

northumbrian_k

Volunteer Host
Mar 2, 2017
4,415
0
Newcastle
I well remember my Aunt's funeral over 10 years ago where my Mother asked all and sundry if they had enjoyed their day. I am not sure that she knew it was her sister's funeral as her dementia was already well-advanced, but looking back she may have been right to ask. After all a funeral is the place to celebrate the life of a loved one just departed with (in our case a typically Methodist) get together of those people who mattered most during the person's lifetime. And as you have shown good things can follow. Thank you for sharing @Fullticket and my condolences to you and yours.
 

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