• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can now be found in our new area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

A question of safety


Registered User
Mar 4, 2013
Auckland...... New Zealand
Mum has moderate AD & Dad has MCI. They live in their own house behind ours.
Without a doubt Mum is no longer able to stay at home on her own, without someone being here.
Even Dad is questionable at times...i have told him not to have baths when Mum isn't there ( when shes at her Alzheimers groups) as he has already slipped once.
He just laughs.
Its winter here, and the other day Dad wanted to put the electric heater in the bathroom to warm it up:eek:
He puts clothes to dry on the oil heater, which is a fire waiting to happen when all he needs to do is ask me if he can put some clothes in our dryer. ( smoke alarms installed)
When Mum & I are at shopping he gets out the ladder and climbs onto the roof in his slippers :eek: to clean the guttering. My DH was at home and told me.

Yesterday when I was at work, my husband was out, but daughter at home, Dad decide they needed more milk. Instead of asking my daughter if we could spare some, he walked down to the shops, while Mum was in the house on her own having a bath :eek:
Mum has slipped also, but has grab rails, but only reason I found out, was Dad complained about Mum not locking the door while he went out.
He seems to think being gone 10 mns is not a problem as Mum was in the bath and of course nothing would happen in just 10 mns! Mum will not even wear her pendant alarm anymore.
Dad just laughs at anything I say and fobs it off as not a problem.

My Mum has no traffic sense, and knows that we don't like her walking up to our main shops crossing 3 busy streets unless Dad accompanies her.
But always when I am work ( just 3 days) neither of them think anything of Mum walking in the opposite direction crossing 1 busy street ( with traffic lights and a pedestrian buzzer) to the bakery when I questioned Mum once she said we were keeping her a prisoner in her home.

Something is going to happen sooner or later... To either of them :(
Neither of them at this stage would be eligible for a care home, as they are still pretty independant at home.
Our Alzheimers Key Worker did say though, due to Mum being the most impaired, that being no longer safe would probably force the issue sooner or later also.
Last edited:


Registered User
Jul 29, 2013
North East
I can't think of anything to suggest to help but didn't want to read and run. Just wanted to say, you are not alone with all of these difficulties and worries. Please keep sharing and offloading and at some point some wise people with experience will suggest something for you to at least do or try xxx


Registered User
Sep 17, 2010
Worrying yourself sick over the huge daily risks dementia-affected family members take is par for the course isn't it? There's only so much you can do to stop them coming to harm ... and the stuff you can't do anything about gives you nightmares!

I haven't any solutions to offer. At the moment we're pondering how to minimise the risk of yet more dangerous falls happening to Mum while also protecting Dad from having the last part of his life totally disrupted by the attempts to safeguard Mum.

Something which flashed through my mind when I was badly worried about the safety of both parents was the thought "Enjoy them while you've got them". I pass that thought on to you in the hope it might provide some comfort.