A picker rather than a folder

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Trisha4, Nov 15, 2015.

  1. Trisha4

    Trisha4 Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    2,442
    Yorkshire
    I saw a post about a husband who likes to fold everything and many others related to it. My husband doesn't fold but he has a tendency to pick at things, picking bits of fluff or whatever off his clothes or scratching at something on clothes to remove it. Is that something that others do?


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  2. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,531
    Female
    South coast
    Mum doesnt, but a gentleman at her CH does all the time. He even gets down and tries to pick bits off the carpet.
     
  3. theoh

    theoh Registered User

    Nov 11, 2015
    24
    obsession with making the bed. I am apparently incapable of putting the duvet and the bed cover in the correct manner.

    His hair, if it wont lie how he wants it he cuts that bit off! You can imagine the results.

    Obsession with time, his watch and when I am coming home. When I am coming home - I have to phone him before I leave the office to tell him I am coming. If I am a minute late he will phone me, if I don't answer he will call my staff and insist they take the phone to me to talk to him. The fact I am in a meeting is irrelevant to him, he will then yell down the phone (entire meeting can hear) as to what the heck I am doing etc. He will phone me repeatedly during the journey (say 10 times) which is a 20 minute journey through horrific traffic so I don't answer so he keeps phoning and phoning. If our daughter is home she tells him to stop it so by the time I get home they have had a row and he says she is an ungrateful ...... and no body is speaking to anyone.

    Any finally the most annoying one the TV buttons; all have to be in a line in front of him next to the tissues, wouldn't mind but he can't drive the telly. on the rare, very rare occasion I try and go out with a girlfriend he presses all the buttons and gets a black fuzzy screen and then calls me repeatedly as to when I am coming home to fix it. My girlfriend times this as she reckons he does on purpose.

    sorry ended up as a bit of a rant and thread hijack - apologies...:eek:
     
  4. optocarol

    optocarol Registered User

    Nov 23, 2011
    315
    Auckland, New Zealand
    Oh yes! He picks bits off the carpet regularly, but i look at it as saving vacuuming.:)
     
  5. marmarlade

    marmarlade Registered User

    Jan 26, 2015
    183
    my hubby has the same thing always picking crumbs off his clothes when he,s eaten bits of fluff of trousers and carpets ,jumpers towels any thing that looks like it needs to be picked up even flower petals
     
  6. Jinx

    Jinx Registered User

    Mar 13, 2014
    2,333
    Pontypool
    Mine's a tugger I think, constantly tugging the folds in his trousers when he's sitting down and then bunching up the excess material and asking if I want to take it or indeed his whole leg wrapped in trouser sometimes! Sometimes he tugs at the arm of the chair and can't understand why it won't come off (well hasn't happened yet thankfully).


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  7. Trisha4

    Trisha4 Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    2,442
    Yorkshire
    As always it's good to know you're not alone. So far we have folders, pickers and tuggers. I wonder who else will join us. Hugs all round x


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  8. Stresshead

    Stresshead Registered User

    Sep 13, 2014
    96
    My dad's a picker as well...........drives me mad when i'm trying to get him washed and dressed :mad::mad:
     
  9. Jean1234

    Jean1234 Registered User

    Mar 19, 2015
    254
    Aha, that too

    With an OH as a folder, he also picks up fluff off carpet and any bits off the floor. He must have really good eye sight as I can't even see what he's picking up!!! Also even more of a concern he will pick up all sorts of odds and ends off the pavement saying they are really useful things and his pockets end up looking like a little boys of old. We have little pots by his bed side full of bits he has collected while out.
     
  10. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,713
    Female
    London
    Mine's a scratcher!
     
  11. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    I'm a picker and I don't have dementia! (yet!)
     
  12. Trisha4

    Trisha4 Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    2,442
    Yorkshire
    Any advance on folders, pickers, tuggers and scratchers?
    Keep smiling


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  13. optocarol

    optocarol Registered User

    Nov 23, 2011
    315
    Auckland, New Zealand
    I can relate to this too! He's always picking stuff up off the footpath e.g. screws, nails. It goes in the bin when he's not around though.
     
  14. sleepless

    sleepless Registered User

    Feb 19, 2010
    3,232
    Female
    The Sweet North
    My husband does something rather different, but it's not easy to describe.
    It's almost like watching a mime artist.
    Using both hands, he seems to draw up an imaginary thread through his fingers, loops it around a few times, then usually screws it up into a little ball (trust me, there is no thread, but it is so convincing!) And finally throws it away. Sometimes it sticks to his fingers and he pulls it off with the other hand and throws it away again.
    He has never had anything to do with sewing, but I wonder if he remembers it from seeing me doing cross-stitch and sewing in the past?
     
  15. LynneMcV

    LynneMcV Volunteer Moderator

    May 9, 2012
    3,543
    south-east London
    Yes, my husband is regularly picking up the tiniest of flecks from carpets or clothes and brings them to me to check which recycling box he should put them in.

    Often they are so tiny you'd need a magnifying glass to see them - but he is determined to recycle them anyway!
     
  16. my mom

    my mom New member

    Sep 30, 2019
    1
    Dear God, when my mom, who is 91, first moved in with us (3 Yrs ago) she would try to help around the house, hit and miss dusting, folding towels chopping and prepping for dinner...all that soon stopped and now all she does is pick tiny crumbs and dog hair off the carpet, picking at blankets, picking fuzz of clothes, and leaving me little piles on every table corner, in plants, glasses, mugs, what ever is near....
     
  17. jenniferjean

    jenniferjean Registered User

    Apr 2, 2016
    469
    Female
    Basingstoke, Hampshire
    My husband is a picker. But the sad thing is it annoys me and I don't know why. When I'm trying to do all the housework and everything that needs doing, and I have to make way for him to bring this tiny, almost invisible, bit of fluff to the bin - I feel like screaming.
     
  18. Helly68

    Helly68 Registered User

    Mar 12, 2018
    426
    Mummy "pleats" her trouser legs. I have seen others in her CH do this too. Drawing the fabric into pleats on her leg. She isn't interested in folding. I thought she was trying to find pockets, but even in trousers with very obvious pockets, she cant find them. She also rolls up her trouser legs - which others do too.
     
  19. pevensey

    pevensey Registered User

    Feb 14, 2012
    186
    Female
    South East Coast.
    Yes my hubby is a picker, the smallest lit bit of fluff on floor he struggles to get down and pick it up even falling in the process, a very annoying habit also, is TISSUES, he is always taking tissues out the box and lines them up everywhere, every room has tissues lined up on the arms of chairs, on the sideboard, in everyone of his pockets, and he drops them unintentionaly on the floor all the time so tissues everywhere
     
  20. Jaded'n'faded

    Jaded'n'faded Registered User

    Jan 23, 2019
    470
    Female
    High Peak
    I must add my mum to the trouser pleater list - hers are always at half mast with neat little pleats down each thigh. She's been doing it since moving to her CH 2 and a half years ago. I did ask her about it once. She said 'We all have to do it. If you don't, they come in and do it for you.'

    So now we know... o_O
     

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