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Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by Grannie G, Jan 24, 2014.
No, time doesn't heal. It covers the cracks a bit as one adapts. When no one can ever know of those precious moments shared so uniquely except that one person, I can understand how it must a figment of ones imagination when one is down. Such small things can trigger feelings. I hope you will float upwards a bit soon. We cannot force feelings. Al blessing, x
Sorry to hear you are feeling a bit down with things at the moment, @Grannie G . I think that sense of loss and aloneness will always be with us, and sometimes we will feel it much more than others. "Life goes on" they say, and it does, and life can, indeed, be good. But it can't, ever, be as it was when we had our life's companion to share it with.
So true @LadyA
Onwards and upwards.
My eldest granddaughter who has a Masters degree has been doing bar work since she graduated. She had applied for so many jobs and in many cases didn`t even receive an acknowledgement.
Yesterday she came to meditation with me. She had had a second interview for a position and apologised for having her phone on vibrate just in case there was any news. Everyone was encouraging and had no objection to their meditation being interrupted by Grace`s phone.
When she got home she received a message to say she had the job.
I`m so happy for her.
I’m so sorry Sylvia. I’m in a similar place though I know each one of us is different. Each loss just adds to the grief. Sending sympathy and - I hope - understanding. xxx
p.s. Just seen your last post, I am so pleased for your granddaughter. x
That’s excellent news Sylvia. Congratulations to your granddaughter!
Thanks @Saffie and @Izzy.
It`s not as bad as it sounds but It`s good to be able to voice my feelings here without boring others who can`t possibly understand and don`t really want to know.
You’re so right Sylvia. I’ve been feeling that way for a while now. I’m doing lots of enjoyable things with friends I love but I never speak to them about how I really feel. I’ve not even been posting here much so I appreciated you sharing similar feelings.
I'm sorry you were feeling down. These moments can quite overwhelm us. Although I have not experienced the loss you and so many others here have, I feel I understand.
Great news about your granddaughter.
Thanks @Izzy and @Canadian Joanne.
I took my granddaughter a congratulations/good luck card this morning and some flowers. No one seemed home. The cars had gone and there was no reply when I rang the bell.
I left the flowers and card in the porch.
I`ve just had a text from Grace thanking me. She is feeling low and was in bed. She didn`t hear the doorbell.
Grace has been on antidepressants for a while. She worked so hard for her degrees and her failure to get a job hit her hard.
Anyone who doesn`t understand depression would expect her to be on cloud nine now her problems seem over but it doesn`t work like that.
In the same way, as years go by, many experiencing the loss of a long term relationship may appear to be living happy and fulfilled lives but they really have to work hard at it and all may not be what it seems.
It`s only on a dealing with loss forum like this we can share our feelings.
Yesterday for the first time I went on a coach day trip, solo.
I`ve travelled alone but there has always been someone at the other end to travel to. I`m not brave enough to attempt a solo holiday but want to do something constructive so decided to begin with just a day trip.
I went to Brighton.
It was great.
When I arrived I took a guided city tour just to get my bearings. It was the best idea and helped me get the feel of the place.
Then I wandered, along the pier, along the seafront and to the Pavillion. I sat and looked out to sea for a while and then wandered again.
I wasn`t conscious of being alone. There was so much to see and do, at my own pace and in my own time, I appreciated the peace.
Hopefully this was the first day trip of many.
Oh Sylvia that is such good news. Well done! I do hope you continue your solo adventures. It's not as we would have wanted it but, to use that awful phrase, it is what it is. Last year I went to Jersey for 4 days on an impulse. Like you I did a mixture of guided tours and wandering. I'm not one for trying to meet up and chat with people on holidays so was comfortable with my own company. In the evenings or when I wanted to sit in the lounge I always had my kindle with me. I do hope you eventually go away for a few days.
So glad to hear, I was thinking of you yesterday, wondering how it was going. I know Brighton so I almost imagined you there. Xxx
Thanks Alice. So kind.
I’m glad you enjoyed your day Sylvia. I’ve always wanted to visit the Royal Pavilion having enjoyed the novels of Georgette Heyer since my early teens - one day! x
I’m glad your day went well Sylvia. I’d love to go to Brighton.
Thanks Saffie and Cat
I didn`t go in the Pavillion. It was far too crowded for me. I forgot it was Bank Holiday weekend.
Oh, well done @Grannie G ! It can be daunting, and seem a little pointless, going off on a jaunt on our own, but when we get our courage up and do it, it can turn out to be a lovely time. Glad you enjoyed your day. Where to next?
I`m not sure yet but will try to avoid Bank Holidays in future.