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A new stage in my life...................

Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by Grannie G, Jan 24, 2014.

  1. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,362
    Grief is so overwhelming sometimes unexpectedly. It sounds that Ancestors Day was a good place to be.
    It is a lovely photo. Xxx

    (We do not have such centres near, I do not even get to Quaker Meeting. Last night I woke with a splitting headache, the day had been so busy I was overtired. I could not sleep so I put a Buddhist OM chant on and slept at last.)
     
  2. Loopiloo

    Loopiloo Registered User

    May 10, 2010
    6,119
    Female
    Scotland
    I am another who has always loved that Diren; an unforgettable smile.

    I wish you peace tomorrow and special memories. Sylvia.

    A very emotional first meeting for you but also a good one. It is good to share with those who really do understand.

    Love
    Looxxx
     
  3. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    16,093
    Toronto, Canada
    That's a lovely photo. I understand the emotions, sometimes the reasons are obvious, as in your meeting and other times they catch us unawares.

    Thinking of you. Will you be spending time with someone? Any plans for the day or will you just let things unfold?
     
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,402
    Kent
    Thank you Folks.

    I have no plans Joanne. Paul usually calls round on Sundays.
     
  5. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,402
    Kent
    I`m glad it helped Alice. It`s good to have something which usually works.
     
  6. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,402
    Kent
    Just to update this Thread..............

    I attended a wonderful family reunion at the beginning of February in Stevenage and Knebworth and have been ill ever since with a virus infection which seemed to affect half the party.

    Yesterday was my first day out since I arrived home on February 4th.

    I was bedbound the first half of the first week and could barely hold on to the walls to get drinks. It`s the first time I`ve been quite ill and on my own. I was happy to be by myself and had the security of the care line should anything become more serious.

    My son was in the USA so I couldn`t call on him and my daughter in law and grandchildren are all asthmatics so there was no way I was allowing them entrance to catch my germs.

    I`ve always patted myself on the back re my immunity to infection but I suppose a new set of germs got the better of me.

    I`m slowly coming to life and managed Qigong yesterday. Today I have a meditation group but will be staying at home tomorrow.

    I can`t emphasise enough how important a careline is for people living alone. I didn`t use it but it was such a comfort to know it was there.
     
  7. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,444
    Female
    Dundee
    What a time you’ve had Sylvia. I’m so glad you’re beginning to feel more like yourself.
     
  8. love.dad.but..

    love.dad.but.. Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    4,385
    Kent
    Hopefully as this week carries on you will feel better each day...horrible having something that knocks you for 6 and having careline must give you and others living alone a great deal of reassurance.
     
  9. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,402
    Kent
    It`s nearly a month since I`ve posted on this Thread and reading back it`s hard to believe how rough I felt. Thanks for all your good wishes and encouragement and I'm pleased to say I back to full fitness, or as full as it will ever be.

    Yesterday was my friend`s 85th birthday. We met at Tai Chi five years ago. Her husband had died two months before Dhiren, aged 101. She connected with me because, as she said , we are both Pisceans and although we are very different in personality we do get on well.

    She is what is known as a `character`. She still drives, drinks and smokes, eats mars bars, has diabetes and COPD, is a pillar of the church, comes to Qigong and meditation classes and is very outspoken. She knows she is asking for trouble living life the way she does but does not seem to care at her time in life.
    But
    She has had a tough time getting to grips with her grief.

    It was her birthday yesterday so it was my treat.

    In the morning she came with me to her first truly Buddhist meditation. From there we went for lunch where my grandson is a `temporary` waiter. :) [ He`s waiting to be discovered ] ;)

    She phoned me last night to say it was the best birthday she has had for years.
     
  10. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,362
    How lovely to hear.
    I have good memories of Buddhist Retreats in the 70/80s. Our yoga teacher arranged weekend retreats in the village school. I did the catering as I was local. Although I would not claim to be Buddhist much has rubbed off on me and my attitudes. I feel very fortunate. I follow David Mitchie's page and books, e.g. The Dali Lama cat series plus his other books.
    I love your friends attitude may she get away with it a long time!
    As I said to a doctor, I have friends fitter and slimmer than me and they all died!
    X
     
  11. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,402
    Kent
    This friend has regular health checks and all blood and urine tests are fine. My father was the most moderate person you could wish to meet and he died aged 53.

    Sometimes however much we try, it`s still the luck of the draw.
     
  12. love.dad.but..

    love.dad.but.. Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    4,385
    Kent
    What a lovely day that sounds. I sometimes think there is no rhyme or reason to who dies because of or despite this and that. I am following my dear mum's mantra which was...keep a little natural body padding on as I get older so that if I become at risk of falls I am less likely to break bones. Needless to say I don't need much encouragement to keep well padded as Slimming and Health TP posts testify. Glad you are feeling so much better.
     
  13. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,402
    Kent
    My mum said the same. My family were and are life long `dieters` and as my mother aged and developed dementia the last logical comment she made was " now I can eat what I want, I don`t want it "
     
  14. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,362
    My gran used to say a little of what you fancy does you good. I think the emphasis is on little.
     
  15. love.dad.but..

    love.dad.but.. Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    4,385
    Kent
    My elderly mum and dad used to go for coffee and papers each morning...mum always said it made them get properly dressed and motivated them each day...and would share a cake. She always said she could feel others looking and thinking ah those poor old folk can't afford a cake each but the reason was damage limitation on calories
     
  16. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    16,093
    Toronto, Canada
    Such a shame about the little. What about "if a little is good, a lot is better"?
     
  17. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,362
    Well Joanne, we could try that and see what happens!
     
  18. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,444
    Female
    Dundee
    How lovely Sylvia. Lunch were your friend sounds perfect. I hope your grandson is ‘discovered’ soon. :)
     
  19. Loopiloo

    Loopiloo Registered User

    May 10, 2010
    6,119
    Female
    Scotland
    New
    Love Dad but wrote

    What a lovely day that sounds. I so
    metimes think there is no rhyme or reason to who dies because of or despite this and that.

    I agree and think it is the luck of the draw, I thought I would go before Henry but here I still am and for what purpose I know not, Presently bedbound several weeks and that could continue. There is no rhyme or reason or reason to it as you say! The mysteries of life!

    Loo xxx

    Good to read your thread again Sylvia and thanks for the updates. The birthday celebration with the 'charachter' friend sounded good long may she continue doing all the forbidden things.

    Loo xxx
     
  20. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,402
    Kent
    Thanks Loo. It`s so lovely to hear from you even though you are so poorly and your quality of life seems to be testing you to the hilt.
     
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