A new stage in my life...................
- Thread starter Grannie G
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Completely understand that. I am another who could easily become very reclusive, if I was given the chance! Love wrapping my home around me like a blanket.
I too am becoming more reclusive but I think that started to happen when Dave was in the nursing home. He was the focus of my life for those years - as with so many of us here - and daily visits left little time for anything else bar essential tasks. I found most of my social contact here on TP and also found friends here.
I do realise now that I no longer have that focus and daily visits that this isn’t a healthy way to continue so am trying to go out more by myself. It is difficult to find the motivation to do this though especially when there are things that need doing in the house but motivation is lacking here too!
You are doing more than I am I think Sylvia though my half hour ritual walk with Saffie every morning is not something I am allowed to miss.
As you say, the hole will not be filled but we just have to get used to it being beside us. x
I appear to be getting busier and busier! I seem to be run off my feet a lot of the time. I do realise though that it's better for me to be busy with outside interests. Even if that's just going walking. But I've had lots of guests, and the kittens mean I am busier in the house and of course, mum's health means I've been spending more time going in and out to her and taking her around, and then I do a lot with dau and little grandson too.
Thanks @Saffie.
. Having a dog to walk is good discipline but you know I`m no animal lover so that's out for me. I try to have something planned for every day, at least during the week.
This week I have ;
Monday Tai Chi
Tuesday Meditation
Wednesday A talk `Use your head and save the body` at my friend's church Women's Group
Thursday Lip Reading class
Friday Hosting my own meditation group
Nothing exciting but it fills the time and keeps me in circulation.
Weekends are free.
. Having a dog to walk is good discipline but you know I`m no animal lover so that's out for me. I try to have something planned for every day, at least during the week.
This week I have ;
Monday Tai Chi
Tuesday Meditation
Wednesday A talk `Use your head and save the body` at my friend's church Women's Group
Thursday Lip Reading class
Friday Hosting my own meditation group
Nothing exciting but it fills the time and keeps me in circulation.
Weekends are free.
That’s really good Sylvia. I wish I could do as well. I’ve not even been to one of the monthly U3A meetings since I joined last April and as it is a very big (over 500) membership and well-established group, the subgroups which appeal more are full. I won’t rejoin this year.
It’s not that Dave and I did many things together, more that our lives were busy with other things including various volunteer work and caring for grandchildren. After Dave’s death health problems made me give up the former as I could no longer be relied upon and the latter is no longer needed. I suppose it all happening at the same time hasn’t helped.
The trouble is the less one does, the less one wants to do!
I find weekend days the worst as I avoid shopping then as places are busier.
I think you’re doing amazingly and I’m hoping you are enjoying the activities too. x
It’s not that Dave and I did many things together, more that our lives were busy with other things including various volunteer work and caring for grandchildren. After Dave’s death health problems made me give up the former as I could no longer be relied upon and the latter is no longer needed. I suppose it all happening at the same time hasn’t helped.
The trouble is the less one does, the less one wants to do!
I find weekend days the worst as I avoid shopping then as places are busier.
I think you’re doing amazingly and I’m hoping you are enjoying the activities too. x
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Thanks @Saffie
I didn't fare too well with U3A.
As you found, the more popular groups were oversubscribed and I found in this area it was very cliquish. My friend in Leicester attends a very successful U3A so I suppose it depends on the area and on the individual.
I know what you mean about grandchildren. I used to do the school run three days a week when my daughter in law was working. Now the grandchildren are looking after me.
I didn't fare too well with U3A.
As you found, the more popular groups were oversubscribed and I found in this area it was very cliquish. My friend in Leicester attends a very successful U3A so I suppose it depends on the area and on the individual.
I know what you mean about grandchildren. I used to do the school run three days a week when my daughter in law was working. Now the grandchildren are looking after me.
I don’t think it’s like that here though a particular group might be. I have to say that the monthly meeting talks don’t usually appeal to me but some of the groups are interesting. Of course those are the ones that are full.
You’re not old enough anyway Lady A!
Unfortunately I am becoming reclusive due to being housebound and little I can do about that. I try not to dwell on the losses that has bought about, how much my life has shrunk. What I would do if I had not lost mobility...
But how much would I in reality do if I could. . . concerning going out, socialising, although I would enjoy the necessary local shopping and chats with people I know and who knew Henry well. This was very much Henry's home town since marriage and I would like that connection with him through those who knew him.
I would like to have a dog, regardless of my age, having had dogs almost constantly since I was 13. As you know Saffie, and others, you are never alone when you have a doggy companion, and you have to go out with them. Fresh air to blow away the cobwebs and enjoy nature.
But that would not happen as you can bring a dog with you when you move here, but when it dies you are not allowed to have another one. That does not make sense to me.
Oh, I would go out and about but I suspect not all that much - and not at night. I have a lot of interests and there are events from time to time I would like to attend, places to visit in the better seasons.... But how much would I do now it is just me?
We did do a lot together as a couple, but I also did a lot on my own. Henry also had outdoor interests. We enjoyed talking to each other about what we did on our own.
I enjoyed going out - for a purpose - and also enjoyed time in my home. Times together at home, and times on my own doing my own thing - mainly drawing and watercolour painting and also family history research. All gradually lost due to dementia taking over our lives.
The passion is still there but there are genuine reasons why I have not metaphorically jumped back into those interests - or gradually eased myself back into them. Predominantly health issues but also others which 'intrude' on time.
There is a difference between being able to go out when you chose and being unable to go out because it is impossible to physically do so. I tell myself if by some miracle I awoke to find myself free of the physical obstacles there would be no stopping me!
Or am I kidding myself...would I find a loss of motivation because it is only me now? Keeping yourself motivated is not easy....
I do admire you Sylvia for coping with this so well, it must have been difficult to begin with.... Once involved n something which holds your interest I think it helps the motivation?
I am blethering on here about nothing.... sorry. Too much 'all me'. But what everyone has written has got me thinking.
I would have been interested in U3A but it does sound to depend on the area... and people...? I don't like cliques.
Whatever does get you out and about, circulating, keep on going and long may you do so.
Loo xx
But how much would I in reality do if I could. . . concerning going out, socialising, although I would enjoy the necessary local shopping and chats with people I know and who knew Henry well. This was very much Henry's home town since marriage and I would like that connection with him through those who knew him.
I would like to have a dog, regardless of my age, having had dogs almost constantly since I was 13. As you know Saffie, and others, you are never alone when you have a doggy companion, and you have to go out with them. Fresh air to blow away the cobwebs and enjoy nature.
But that would not happen as you can bring a dog with you when you move here, but when it dies you are not allowed to have another one. That does not make sense to me.
Oh, I would go out and about but I suspect not all that much - and not at night. I have a lot of interests and there are events from time to time I would like to attend, places to visit in the better seasons.... But how much would I do now it is just me?
We did do a lot together as a couple, but I also did a lot on my own. Henry also had outdoor interests. We enjoyed talking to each other about what we did on our own.
I enjoyed going out - for a purpose - and also enjoyed time in my home. Times together at home, and times on my own doing my own thing - mainly drawing and watercolour painting and also family history research. All gradually lost due to dementia taking over our lives.
The passion is still there but there are genuine reasons why I have not metaphorically jumped back into those interests - or gradually eased myself back into them. Predominantly health issues but also others which 'intrude' on time.
There is a difference between being able to go out when you chose and being unable to go out because it is impossible to physically do so. I tell myself if by some miracle I awoke to find myself free of the physical obstacles there would be no stopping me!
Or am I kidding myself...would I find a loss of motivation because it is only me now? Keeping yourself motivated is not easy....
I do admire you Sylvia for coping with this so well, it must have been difficult to begin with.... Once involved n something which holds your interest I think it helps the motivation?
I am blethering on here about nothing.... sorry. Too much 'all me'. But what everyone has written has got me thinking.
I would have been interested in U3A but it does sound to depend on the area... and people...? I don't like cliques.
Whatever does get you out and about, circulating, keep on going and long may you do so.
Loo xx
I know Loo and I realise how much it would mean to you to have the option of going out. I am so sorry. x
Thanks Sylvia, although hope I didn't sound self pitying. Not the intention. Just musing, questioning myself if I did have the choice would I actually make the most of it or not.
As Saffie said
So easy to hibernate at home, especially during winter weather, and then loose motivation. I have been glad these last 6 days I did not have to go out for necessities. Thanks to supermarket home delivery.
Still a lot of snow on the roads here and none cleared or gritted. I remember the two awful winters trying to visit Henry first in hospitals and then the care home. But I did have the motivation then - Henry.
I hope your winter weather doesn't make getting to and fro too difficult for you.
Love
Loo xx
Oh dear, I really didn't mean to sound self pitying Saffie! My questioning and doubting myself was if I did have the option would I really take it. . .My outings for some years were almost all to visit Henry. He was the total focus of life. Also before he went into the care home, outings mainly for medical appointments. He reached the stage where he was no sooner out than he wanted back home again.
I can't remember back to times of going out on my own for enjoyment so maybe the freedom to do so would have been wasted on me!
Mind you, I would have liked a walk around the supermarket!
I seem to be eating the same things and not clearing my plate. Not grumbling - you are brave attempting your very difficult diet. I admire you persevering and hope it does eventually help.Love
Loo xxx
[QUOTE="Loopiloo, post: 1490756, member: 15571"
So easy to hibernate at home, especially during winter weather, and then loose motivation. I have been glad these last 6 days I did not have to go out for necessities. Thanks to supermarket home delivery.
Still a lot of snow on the roads here and none cleared or gritted. I remember the two awful winters trying to visit Henry first in hospitals and then the care home. But I did have the motivation then - Henry.
I hope your winter weather doesn't make getting to and fro too difficult for you.
Love
Loo xx[/QUOTE]
So easy to hibernate at home, especially during winter weather, and then loose motivation. I have been glad these last 6 days I did not have to go out for necessities. Thanks to supermarket home delivery.
Still a lot of snow on the roads here and none cleared or gritted. I remember the two awful winters trying to visit Henry first in hospitals and then the care home. But I did have the motivation then - Henry.
I hope your winter weather doesn't make getting to and fro too difficult for you.
Love
Loo xx[/QUOTE]
Dear Loo, with snow around and ungritted roads there's a lot to be said for hibernation. Snow is best enjoyed from the inside looking out, I find.
How funny that our experiences with U3A are the same! We are not renewing this year. All the groups I would have enjoyed are full, and we too found it cliquey. It seemed to attract the ‘twee’ in the area.
As for motivation...I have been terrible when alone. It was really good for me that I had teenagers and a job when I was widowed. I didn’t want to do anything, but I had no choice. As soon as the youngest left for uni, I only went out to work, or to walk the dog...though I did keep going to choir on Tuesdays. But then I started ‘seeing’ Martin and climbed on the merry go round of life again!
I think more motivation might come with better weather? Except for those who cannot get out. I hope, Loo, come the summer you will be more settled, all unpacked, happier in your home and ready to take up some of your interests again. You just need to keep your bowels and legs under control! (If only strength of mind could do it). I think your week sounds lovely Grannie. And thank goodness for dogs, Saffie. They keep us going whether we want to or not!
As for motivation...I have been terrible when alone. It was really good for me that I had teenagers and a job when I was widowed. I didn’t want to do anything, but I had no choice. As soon as the youngest left for uni, I only went out to work, or to walk the dog...though I did keep going to choir on Tuesdays. But then I started ‘seeing’ Martin and climbed on the merry go round of life again!
I think more motivation might come with better weather? Except for those who cannot get out. I hope, Loo, come the summer you will be more settled, all unpacked, happier in your home and ready to take up some of your interests again. You just need to keep your bowels and legs under control! (If only strength of mind could do it). I think your week sounds lovely Grannie. And thank goodness for dogs, Saffie. They keep us going whether we want to or not!
No snow at all here, @Primrosepath, thankfully! Today, I have a busy day. At the moment, I have another load of laundry on. Dau is away on holiday, and I took the laundry they left over here, and added it to mine. And I'm shortly going over there to clean her house. With a 1 year old, she doesn't get a lot of time to do very much. And they left at 3 a.m. for the airport, having eaten a hasty breakfast before they left, so there are dishes to be washed, beds to be made etc. It's nice, when you come home from a journey, not to have to face a load of cleaning up! I've also got a little shopping to do. and might get in a walk.
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