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A new stage in my life...................

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Rageddy Anne

Registered User
Feb 21, 2013
5,984
Cotswolds
It's unbearable to think that Helen and her family are going through such torture even though she had made her wishes very clear.
And the doctor who said she deserves peace but they have to watch their backs....
Seems to me we are getting something dreadfully wrong somewhere........

Sylvia, this is so awful for you....you are such a wonderful friend....Sending you all the strength in the world.....and gratitude for sharing and helping Helen's friends too.
 

flowerpot

Registered User
Jul 27, 2010
2,450
61
Rural North Northumberland
This is all so terribly sad.
Years ago this wouldn't have happened doctors just did what was right! These days they need to be so careful even when the person themselves have made it quite clear what their wishes are.
My thoughts are with Helen and her family. You too of course Sylvia xx
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,958
Brixham Devon
How many people do you think a doctor could deliberately (if 'unofficially') euthanase before it destroyed him or her?
What are you asking for?
I think that Anne is asking for someone, somewhere to give Helen peace as per her wishes. (sorry if I'm incorrect with that observation Anne).

XX
 

Saffie

Registered User
Mar 26, 2011
22,514
Near Southampton
How many people do you think a doctor could deliberately (if 'unofficially') euthanase before it destroyed him or her?
What are you asking for?
I'm sure RA meant nothing untoward by her comment and was simply thinking of the welfare of someone who is suffering at the end of life. Please don't turn Sylvia's thread in any way confrontational at this time of such sadness. It is so kind of Sylvia to take the time to keep those of us who hold a deep affection and respect for Helen in our hearts and I know it cannot be easy for her to have to tell us of the suffering Helen is experiencing.
I hope that Helen will be moved to the hospice very soon. I feel for poor Mandy and Martin and hope it will make things a little more bearable for them and that it will bring some peace and calm for Helen.
 

Dazmum

Registered User
Jul 10, 2011
10,315
Horsham, West Sussex
I too hope that a bed at the hospice becomes available for Helen today. I can't begin to imagine the anguish that Martin and Mandy are going through trying to care for her the best they can. xxx
 

sleepless

Registered User
Feb 19, 2010
3,223
The Sweet North
I'm sure RA meant nothing untoward by her comment and was simply thinking of the welfare of someone who is suffering at the end of life. Please don't turn Sylvia's thread in any way confrontational at this time of such sadness. It is so kind of Sylvia to take the time to keep those of us who hold a deep affection and respect for Helen in our hearts and I know it cannot be easy for her to have to tell us of the suffering Helen is experiencing.
I hope that Helen will be moved to the hospice very soon. I feel for poor Mandy and Martin and hope it will make things a little more bearable for them and that it will bring some peace and calm for Helen.
I am sorry, Saffie, I don't wish to be seen as confrontational, but please let's not pretend there is a 'magic wand' that is somehow being withheld from poor Helen?
I too feel that the hospice environment will be better for all concerned, and I'm sure the hospice staff will do all within their powers to make Helen comfortable.
 

sleepless

Registered User
Feb 19, 2010
3,223
The Sweet North
I think that Anne is asking for someone, somewhere to give Helen peace as per her wishes. (sorry if I'm incorrect with that observation Anne).

XX
I am really sorry if I have upset you or anyone, Lyn.
But 'someone, somewhere' -- we can only pray for peace for Helen from within herself. As I posted some time ago, her suffering now is so like the suffering of a person with a tormenting dementia -- so cruel, and I pray she will be free of it soon.
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,958
Brixham Devon
I'm sure RA meant nothing untoward by her comment and was simply thinking of the welfare of someone who is suffering at the end of life. Please don't turn Sylvia's thread in any way confrontational at this time of such sadness. It is so kind of Sylvia to take the time to keep those of us who hold a deep affection and respect for Helen in our hearts and I know it cannot be easy for her to have to tell us of the suffering Helen is experiencing.
I hope that Helen will be moved to the hospice very soon. I feel for poor Mandy and Martin and hope it will make things a little more bearable for them and that it will bring some peace and calm for Helen.
Saffie, thank you for your well expressed and compassionate post. I echo everything that you have written and hope that if Helen is readmitted to the Hospice, and her physical pain is bought under control, she may find peace.

Love as always,

Lyn T XX
 

Saffie

Registered User
Mar 26, 2011
22,514
Near Southampton
I am really sorry if I have upset you or anyone, Lyn.
But 'someone, somewhere' -- we can only pray for peace for Helen from within herself. As I posted some time ago, her suffering now is so like the suffering of a person with a tormenting dementia -- so cruel, and I pray she will be free of it soon.
Sadly it isn't. Someone suffering from dementia is unlikely to have the insight into what is happening as Helen does and has done for some time. This is what makes it doubly agonising to witness and for her to bear. Please, please bring her peace.
 

sleepless

Registered User
Feb 19, 2010
3,223
The Sweet North
Sadly it isn't. Someone suffering from dementia is unlikely to have the insight into what is happening as Helen does and has done for some time. This is what makes it doubly agonising to witness and for her to bear. Please, please bring her peace.
I meant the phoning police and solicitor for help, and thinking she had a broken leg etc.
 

Loopiloo

Registered User
May 10, 2010
6,118
Scotland
I am sitting here lost for words, feeling very much as Saffie has expressed. Also others.

Earlier I wrote a post offline which I had not managed to write yesterday, but now it seems pointless posting it here. Just repetition….

Such a desperate situation for Helen and both Martin and Mandy. Not only to see her suffering like this but also trying to prevent her acting as at the time she wishes to do. The thought of Helen continuing like this for months is unbearable. I hope the nurses are wrong and the hospice predictions of how much longer Helen has before death are right.

I hope a hospice bed will be available very soon. I also wish Helen’s awareness would evaporate and her mind be more at peace. Previously admirable but now not doing her any good at all.

In despair for Helen and her family. My heart aches for them. Constantly in my thoughts.

Love
Loo xxx
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
72,116
Kent
Text from Mandy.

Won't know til tomorrow if mum has hospice space or not. Got a night sitter and nurses been twice for sedative extra doses x she doesn't rest for one single second whilst awake
................
 

nellbelles

Volunteer Host
Nov 6, 2008
8,896
leicester
I have no words...

I did hope there would be a hospice bed today so Helen would have fast access to medication, I can see the nurses are responding to calls but, I am sure it will be better with constant monitoring.

Love to you all xxx
 

Rageddy Anne

Registered User
Feb 21, 2013
5,984
Cotswolds
Hoping against hope a hospice bed will be available very soon...can a night sitter administer extra doses of sedative, or will poor Helen wake and be troubled? It's heartbreaking.
 

jan.s

Registered User
Sep 20, 2011
7,353
68
Like others I am lost for words, but wish that Helen could find peace. It must be torment for her family to see such a strong and caring lady struggle as she is.

In the light of previous comments, I am wary of posting my views. I just know what I would like in a similar situation. (Sorry if I offend anyone)

I hope you're OK Sylvia. xx
 

Soobee

Registered User
Aug 22, 2009
2,732
South
...she doesn't rest for one single second whilst awake...

Oh, I feel for her so, and for Martin and Mandy x
 

gigi

Registered User
Nov 16, 2007
7,788
67
East Midlands
Like others I am lost for words, but wish that Helen could find peace. It must be torment for her family to see such a strong and caring lady struggle as she is.

In the light of previous comments, I am wary of posting my views. I just know what I would like in a similar situation. (Sorry if I offend anyone)

I hope you're OK Sylvia. xx
Thank you Jan for saying just what I am thinking.

It is a fact that "in the old days" when I was working on an acute medical unit in a large teaching hospital as a staff nurse, mental anguish during end of life care was viewed to be as important as physical pain and treated in the same way.

That's of no help now, though.

I can only join with all of the rest of us out there wishing Helen on to a better place where rest and peace prevail.

xx
 

Canadian Joanne

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 8, 2005
16,758
66
Toronto, Canada
How incredibly sad for Helen, her family and all her friends who love her. I hope that she can get the relief, mental and physical, that she needs as soon as possible.
 

piedwarbler

Registered User
Aug 3, 2010
7,189
South Ribble
Every so often I hear a palliative care doctor on Radio 4 or whatever say, "Palliative care and modern drugs are so effective these days that no one need suffer a painful or anguished death."
I frequently reflect on this, when my personal experience seems to suggest that "good" deaths too often seem elusive.
I do wonder what a top palliative care specialist would say about some of the situations that still seem to happen.





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