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A new question of safety

Discussion in 'Recently diagnosed and early stages of dementia' started by yorkie46, Nov 8, 2018.

  1. yorkie46

    yorkie46 Registered User

    Jan 28, 2014
    191
    Southampton
    Does anyone have any suggestions regarding my concern for my husband's safety.

    Very often when I've been out I return to find him sound asleep with both house doors unlocked. Sometimes he heard me come in but most times he doesn't despite me coming in with the weekly shop!

    I'm really concerned that anyone could get in to burgle or attack him.

    Has anyone had the same experience, is this something I should mention to.the OT when she visits? I know he won't be happy if I say anything to anyone about it but he doesn't realise how it worries me. I don't like the thought of locking him in, he doesn't wander it I would be concerned about him getting out in case of fire. I know that's unlikely but even so I would feel bad about it.
     
  2. Sad Staffs

    Sad Staffs Registered User

    Jun 26, 2018
    409
    Female
    #2 Sad Staffs, Nov 8, 2018
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2018
    It might be wrong of me, but if I do go out without him I do lock the door. Or I make him come and lock me out. I should add that the key is always adjacent to the door if it’s locked when I go out, and he is aware that it’s there.
    I prefer it if I can get him to lock the door after me, but then I can’t get back in until he unlocks the door, so sometimes I’m left standing in the cold.
    We have so many things to worry about don’t we.
    Most people won’t have a clue what we go through.
    If you find a good solution, please tell me.
    Take care
    B xx
     
  3. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,261
    USA
    Yorkie, we did have this problem with my mother. She would leave her front door unlocked and, more worrying, the sliding glass door directly to the outside. She would do that whether she was home or not and it was a huge concern. That was only one of the reasons she was deemed to need 24/7 supervision (too many to list, but all the usual suspects).

    I wish I had a suggestion for you but nothing worked with my mother so I am not sure. I just wanted you to know you aren't the only one who has experienced this. I understand not locking someone in, who wouldn't be able to get out in case of fire or other emergency. I hope you're able to find a solution. Best wishes.
     
  4. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    10,632
    Female
    London
    I'm only used to doors that you can open from the inside but are shut from the outside so burglars can't just come in so this leaves me a little mystified. I would not advocate locking someone in so they can't flee a fire but if your OH is not prone to wandering, a simple lock that is safe from outside should do the trick, shouldn't it? Maybe a more technically minded member can explain what I mean.
     
  5. Ducky601

    Ducky601 Registered User

    Jul 24, 2018
    93
    Mmm a tricky one because if hubby can’t lock the doors (especially) the front one & take key out then it’s a big problem as you can’t get back in easily ...maybe you should mention it to the OT and see what can be suggested ....I can understand why it’s such a worry for you
     
  6. Ducky601

    Ducky601 Registered User

    Jul 24, 2018
    93
    Just had a thought, could a front door swipe card access system be the answer? not sure of all the ‘ins & outs’, cost ......
     
  7. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,273
    Cotswolds
    Like @Beate, I don't understand why a standard Yale lock wouldn't work? That is, you pull the door shut when you leave, and it's locked from outside.... then you use your key to let yourself in when you return. OH could still let himself out in an emergency.
    I think I must be missing something here?
    Lindy xx
     
  8. maryjoan

    maryjoan Registered User

    Mar 25, 2017
    742
    Female
    South of the Border
    I don't know what it is like where you live - when I go out and leave OH in 'home alone' - I just leave the house unlocked - he will doze in front of the TV till I come back - am I perhaps doing the wrong thing? I had never thought of this before - but we do live in a fairly remote village, and don't have much that a burglar would want.....
     
  9. Sad Staffs

    Sad Staffs Registered User

    Jun 26, 2018
    409
    Female
    I’m not sure a Yale type lock would work on our composite door?
    The door is supposed to have super safe locks. The doors/windows were fitted less than a year ago so I would need to ask them if a Yale lock could be fitted. They struggled to drill to put the burglar fitting back on.
    Never thought of these things when we decided to have windows and doors.
    Just shows how upside down your life gets in such a short time.
    B x
     
  10. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,273
    Cotswolds
    Ah, I understand a bit better now @Sad Staffs !
    We have a composite door fitted by Ev***st maybe ten years ago and it has a Yale lock as well as several fancy ones that frankly we never use. Maybe get back to the company and ask them what's possible?
    Good luck xx
     
  11. Sirena

    Sirena Registered User

    Feb 27, 2018
    444
    Female
    @yorkie46 so you go out and lock the doors, and then your husband unlocks them when you're gone? Could you lock the front door (and hide any other keys) but leave the back door unlocked/with key available? I don't know your set up, but if your back garden is relatively secure your husband could go into the garden in an emergency but it would be less easy for a burglar to gain entry. I believe this is what another member did when leaving their PWD for a few hours. OT might have other suggestions though.
     
  12. yorkie46

    yorkie46 Registered User

    Jan 28, 2014
    191
    Southampton
    Thanks for everyone's suggestions. I will speak to OT and see if she has any ideas.
     

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