After a brave 13 year fight with dementia, my mum Ruth sadly passed away on 29th March after a stroke at the age of 79. My dad passed away in 2004, so at the age of 37 I find myself as an adult orphan.
I loved my mum loads and have really struggled to come to terms with the huge void in my life. My mum had been in the care system for the last 7 years of her life, spending time in two care homes - the last one since January 2017 where she really got the best of care. I visited her nearly every day and was very involved with her care. I bought all her clothing for her and topped up her toiletries and food and drink treats weekly. She loved Haribos and Capri Suns!!!
I’m an only child and felt an obligation to look after my mum after my dad passed, I really loved visiting her and seeing her face. I work full time and was lucky to get word a new care home was being built in the business park next to my workplace. Moving her there was a no brainer, a new modern care home for my mum to enjoy her later years. This really benefited both of us and I could tell she was being looked after better.
Over the years her dementia progressed and after a fall a few years ago she ended up losing her mobility, she spent her last years in a wheelchair. She became much more affectionate and had a beautiful smile and cheeky little laugh. Her clarity of speech really tailed off in the last couple of years but I loved getting a smile or little chuckle from her!
She passed away two weeks short of her 80th birthday, where I had everything planned for a big party at the care home for her.
Since her passing, I arranged a beautiful funeral for her and have created a memorial at the care home she passed away peacefully in. In the gardens is a nice wooden bench inscribed with a tribute to her. I also arranged for a large ceramic planter where her ashes are buried in a mason jar, the planter also contains a lovely pink rose bush - her favourite colour and flowers.
I’ve signed up as a volunteer with Alzheimer Scotland and am getting involved with running a reminiscing group centred around football, which I am very interested in and hope to help others remember memories and enjoy. I also enjoy going into her old care home to visit the residents and staff who looked after my mum.
I miss her every day but will cherish that last little smile she gave me two days before she passed. I never left her side throughout her final two days post stroke and was holding her hand when she took her last breath.
I still can’t shake certain images from my mind. I returned to work last Monday but struggle to retain focus and am not sleeping great. Hopefully things get easier...
I wrote a poem for her funeral which I have attached, this details my dementia journey with her.
I loved my mum loads and have really struggled to come to terms with the huge void in my life. My mum had been in the care system for the last 7 years of her life, spending time in two care homes - the last one since January 2017 where she really got the best of care. I visited her nearly every day and was very involved with her care. I bought all her clothing for her and topped up her toiletries and food and drink treats weekly. She loved Haribos and Capri Suns!!!
I’m an only child and felt an obligation to look after my mum after my dad passed, I really loved visiting her and seeing her face. I work full time and was lucky to get word a new care home was being built in the business park next to my workplace. Moving her there was a no brainer, a new modern care home for my mum to enjoy her later years. This really benefited both of us and I could tell she was being looked after better.
Over the years her dementia progressed and after a fall a few years ago she ended up losing her mobility, she spent her last years in a wheelchair. She became much more affectionate and had a beautiful smile and cheeky little laugh. Her clarity of speech really tailed off in the last couple of years but I loved getting a smile or little chuckle from her!
She passed away two weeks short of her 80th birthday, where I had everything planned for a big party at the care home for her.
Since her passing, I arranged a beautiful funeral for her and have created a memorial at the care home she passed away peacefully in. In the gardens is a nice wooden bench inscribed with a tribute to her. I also arranged for a large ceramic planter where her ashes are buried in a mason jar, the planter also contains a lovely pink rose bush - her favourite colour and flowers.
I’ve signed up as a volunteer with Alzheimer Scotland and am getting involved with running a reminiscing group centred around football, which I am very interested in and hope to help others remember memories and enjoy. I also enjoy going into her old care home to visit the residents and staff who looked after my mum.
I miss her every day but will cherish that last little smile she gave me two days before she passed. I never left her side throughout her final two days post stroke and was holding her hand when she took her last breath.
I still can’t shake certain images from my mind. I returned to work last Monday but struggle to retain focus and am not sleeping great. Hopefully things get easier...
I wrote a poem for her funeral which I have attached, this details my dementia journey with her.
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