A mixed blessing....


Registered User
Jun 28, 2003
South coast, UK
Hello everyone,

Almost exactly a year ago I posted here, feeling rather down and confused:


Things have moved on. Mum moved into an "ordinary" care home, about 35 mins away, last year, along with her dog and things seemed to be going well until earlier this year. Mum wasn't really controlling the dog and had made a few bids to escape, risking herself, her dog and goodness knows how many strangers as she wandered country lanes in her wheelchair.

The time had come to move her to an EMI home - not something we relished, but we knew she'd be much safer there. Well last weekend the move happened. I'd dreaded it, thinking that mum would kick up about not belonging in a place where there were elderly confused people. Mum's 62 and has moved into a home for the over 65's (there aren't any around here for younger sufferers) and has insisted since this all began that there wasn't really a problem with "her head".

But we needn't have worried, at least for now... mum's in her element! Within about an hour she was in the lounge, chatting to anyone who would listen, and singing "Que Sera Sera"!!! I think she's responding really well to the less restrictive surroundings, and it's so good to have her closer and more accessible than she was before. She's dealing well with the fact her dog hasn't moved with her (we've explained the Cinnamon Trust are looking after him for her - a superb charity organisation - and I'm hoping with time the questions about him will reduce) and she's making friends with the two home cats.

As an unexpected bonus, following developments this year, she decided she didn't need to take her wheelchair with her - this from a woman who's been utterly dependant on it for the last 25 years! My mum's walking again... and I'd forgotten how short she was! :)

Every cloud....



Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
near London
Hi Mandy, welcome back to TP and thanks for updating us.

I'm delighted that things seem to have worked out as well as one could expect - it is always good to have good stories of care homes.

Very few homes seem to be geared up for early onset residents, but more and more are being diagnosed so perhaps in the future...

Amazing that the wheelchair has gone!


Registered User
Dec 11, 2003
Tully, Qld, Australia
Der Mandy,

Lovely to hear from you again and to hear such good news.

I'm so glad that your mother has settled into the NH so well and is very happy there. It must be a tremendous relief to you and your family.

Best wishes,



Registered User
Oct 23, 2003
West Sussex
Dear Mandy, as you say, every cloud has a silver lining. Glad to hear your Mum has settled so well. How strange about the chair. Love She. XX


Registered User
Jun 28, 2003
South coast, UK

It would be a bit odd about the wheelchair if there hadn't been disputes for years with doctors about whether mum really needed to be in a wheelchair. At the time I got my head around it by recognising that mum needed her wheelchair whether she was "disabled" physically or mentally.

I phoned the home today to see if I should take anything in with me this evening and was told mum had grumbled a bit to the new visiting GP about some back pain.

We've been a bit worried about how her legs and back will take the change to walking all the time after so long in a wheelchair. She's been given some slightly stronger painkillers and we've been advised not to take the chair to the home (something the social worker wanted).

The home manager commented that she wasn't terribly surprised about the back pain... apparently mum was doing roly-polies in the garden yesterday! That's my mum :)



Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
Dear Mandy, just have this mental picture of Mum doing roly-polies. So glad you can still 'giggle' Hope things start to settle down soon, Connie