A living hell


Registered User
Jun 16, 2003
At the age of 63 my beautiful mum started forgetting so much worse than before. Her memory had always been bad. Birthdays were a standard joke in our family because she always forgot cousins and aunts etc. However living 400 miles away, on the occasions I saw her, it became more noticeable and my sister finally pursuaded my father to get a second opinion. He never forgave my sister and tried to blot it out.

This year my father cried buckets for the first time and I was heartbroken for him and for me, but mostly for the mum who was slipping away and there was nothing we could do about it.
The woman he had fallen in love with whislt on leave in his early twenties was still beautiful and still the love of his life but there was a distance in her eyes.

To top it all my uncomplaining mother had developed an appauling bowel disorder and my father was told she had Celiacs disease. He put her and himself on a gluten free diet after he was told my mother had had it ten years and noone had told them. There was no improvement and her problem has got progressively worse. He has now been informed that she does not have Celiacs desease and ten years ago it had'nt been verified. So my poor father is running around feeling that he is going mad and not knowing which way to turn.

Last week the specialist who has not tested the small intestine or taken a biopsy, told my father that the Alzheimers is probably the cause of the bowel problem. My mother has constant Diarhea and is losing weight. She is able to hold her bladder and knows she need the toilet. The problem with her bowel means my father can not take her out for a coffee or visit relatives and friends because of the smell, which is so bad. I am convinced that it is more than Alzheimers.

It is hard enough coping with the alzheimers but due to such long waiting lists on the NHS my father is beginning to dispair.

My partner has suggested we move closer and I can then help my father cope with the mum who was always there for me and would be now if this awful illness hadn't robbed her of her much deserved latter years.

I would appreciate hearing from anyone who has an experience of the sort my family and I are going through.

Any information would be greatly appreciated as we know that the worse is yet to come.

Best wishes to you all.


Registered User
Oct 2, 2008
living hell

Hi Dawny so sorry to hear about your troubles with your Mum. I too look after my Mum and I have done for the past 4 years. My mum has recently started to have problems with her bowels and she sometimes cries with the pain. I am told that this is because the gut gets very sluggish as they get older and lack of exercise can cause constipation. However your poor Mum seems to have thereverse of this and I wonder if she is suffering from Irritable Bowel Syndrome which usually means thay have the need to use the loo a lot ! It is a stress related thing and it could be that your mum is stressed thus causing the upset with her bowels. It would be worth asking the doctor just in case. I would be keen to hear how you get on. Take care Moonshine


Registered User
Feb 3, 2009
Hi Dawny, and so sorry to hear of your family's situation.

I'm not saying that diarrhoea isn't caused by dementia because I'm no medical expert, but it does seem strange that your mum has this constantly, and it's not a symptom I've heard of.

Can your dad return your mum to the GP and insist that the specialist carries out tests for other causes? It's tempting for medics to blame dementia for every symptom but I personally feel that other causes should be ruled out before making that assumption. Even if the cause turns out to be dementia, it can't be good for your mum having constant diarrhoea and I would have thought that the doctor could prescribe something to prevent this.

Good luck

Vonny xx


Registered User
Feb 3, 2009
Thanks Carina, I never looked at the originating date.

Many apologies, Dawny
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