Well the day I was dreading the most has passed. It wasn't like Christmas at all for me having woke early in an empty and quite house. I got ready and went to the care home for 12:30 and there was mum and the other residents sat at the table waiting for Christmas dinner. So as we waited I gave mum her presents. She was happy and laughing and opened all four presents which were a new nighty, trousers, five pairs of new knickers and a box of chocolates (all labelled). I also took some small bottles of wine in and topped mums glass up, 'Oh' she said, 'thats lovely'.
She didn't really remember me, but she new I was familiar in some way, though she kept on asking where I was. I was relieved to see she was ok and settled and in good cheer for the day, but also sad that this person who I know so well had become so distant. Afterwards I sat her down in the lounge and she fell into a light doze (the vino blanco kicking in) while she slept I looked at her and thought about her life as a little girl, a young women, a mother and later life to now and yes I got quite teary, and more teary when I left.
I had thought about taking her home for Christmas dinner, but I decided it wasn't the right thing to do as mum would probably want to stay at home having been triggered by familiar things.
Not the best of Christmas's in all, but I have experienced worse over the years, at least there has been some peace.