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A lifelong friend and me

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,690
South coast
Oh Simon, its one of those times when there are no good answers, only least bad. If you do decide to go and see her I really wouldnt worry about whether its an "essential" journey, I think its important.
 

Toony Oony

Registered User
Jun 21, 2016
579
@Palerider - don't overthink it - just go, if that's what you want to do.

If Mum was living independently, you wouldn't think twice about taking her essential supplies, would you? And you, above all people, will be extra specially careful about the rules and risks.
Do what you truly think is right, and it cannot be wrong.
Love X
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,024
North West
Couldn't write anything on my own thread yesterday, sat here in mums house wishing things were quite different. Most of the time I get by and manage to move on from sticky thoughts, but yesterday I was constantly thinking about mum and the what-ifs. I think the news that EOL visiting would be allowed gave me some consideranle relief by the evening.

The girls at the ciggy kiosk were chuckling as I said I might have bring mum back home to stop feeling so lonely, one of the ladies is in the same boat as me and said she is quitely going insane on her own. They asked how mum is (as mum used to chat with them) -no further changes I said, for now.

I've realised its time to move on now from here, but with Covid-19 everything has stopped. The neighbours don't want me to go, but not much can do about that unfortunately, and staying here would only churn up memories some happy and some less than happy. The house is still untouched and I haven't entered mums room since I packed the last of her things for the CH. Its all waiting to be sorted and minimised into tiny piles, some to keep and some to go.

Anyway, I'd better go work today and I have the commute to do, which has been pleasant in what are lesser days.
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
887
The house is still untouched and I haven't entered mums room since I packed the last of her things for the CH.
Hi @Palerider, I feel for you. I guess there is little that you can do at the moment in terms of Mum's house and her possessions, but I know that doesn't make it any easier. I think we all go through the what-if scenario's - I know I did, it serves little purpose but to tear us up, but we still do it for the sole reason that we care so much for our loved one. Everything you did was in your Mum's best interests.

The news yesterday that EOL visiting would be allowed I hope does provide some solace to those who have loved ones in care.

Stay strong and safe. All the best.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,024
North West
Hi @Palerider, I feel for you. I guess there is little that you can do at the moment in terms of Mum's house and her possessions, but I know that doesn't make it any easier. I think we all go through the what-if scenario's - I know I did, it serves little purpose but to tear us up, but we still do it for the sole reason that we care so much for our loved one. Everything you did was in your Mum's best interests.

The news yesterday that EOL visiting would be allowed I hope does provide some solace to those who have loved ones in care.

Stay strong and safe. All the best.
Some days are tough going :rolleyes:
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,024
North West
I've swapped shifts to cover the weekend, three of our team are now of sick with Covid symptoms. Hoping they are ok and their swabs are negative 🤞
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,024
North West
One of those days and now can't sleep having dosed off earlier twice :rolleyes: I have work today so hoping I nod off soon.

Another three weeks of lockdown -I'll be in the loony bin by the end of this for sure -only so many days I can talk to myself at home.

Its been a strange few weeks since lockdown, mum has become distant and work is very odd -new ways of working and worryingly people staying away that do need to come to hospital.

Our predicted surge of Covid-19 has been shifted to May, but already we are taking overflow from city hospitals -so will be interesting to see how this all pans out.

I think weekly claps need to be for everyone not just NHS. How this started has caused divide and upset and it needs to stop -all carers wherever they are paid or unpaid deserve an applause as do others that are keeping vital services and supllies going. Too many poeple are continually underappreciated -time it changed. Right I'll put my soap box away now, that was my thought for the day 🧐
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,024
North West
So yesterday while at work I made my usual phone call to the care home to check on mum and to my surprise the carer got mum on the phone. It didn't last long but just hearing her voice was enough. Of course she couldn't use the phone but I could hear her saying its Simon and then she hung up :rolleyes:

I called back later and spoke to the nurse and mum has improved. Seems pain was a big issue and now she has a morphine patch she has rallied. Should have got her replacements done years ago, too late now. But the morphine patch is working and mum I am told is much improved. I don't know how long this will last, we shall see.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,690
South coast
So lovely to hear your mums voice and to know that she recognised you. That must have lifted your spirits. :)
Im so glad they have got to the bottom of the problem. It seems that quite often pain in people with dementia gets overlooked because they cant describe the problem - my mum would also deny that she was in pain, even when she obviously was.
 

Toony Oony

Registered User
Jun 21, 2016
579
So pleased you heard your Mum's voice and she recognised yours @Palerider.

Great that the morphine patch is giving her some relief from what I am assuming is mainly arthritic joint pain? If so, such pain is a total ***** and can be soooooooo terribly and unrelentingly painful.
It is a nightmare second guessing what is wrong when the PWD cannot verbalise their pain or problem - so well spotted GP, nurse or CH staff (especially as you were not there to pass on your 'Mum knowledge' and professional opinion!)
Take care of yourself now
X
 

AliceA

Registered User
May 27, 2016
2,863
So yesterday while at work I made my usual phone call to the care home to check on mum and to my surprise the carer got mum on the phone. It didn't last long but just hearing her voice was enough. Of course she couldn't use the phone but I could hear her saying its Simon and then she hung up :rolleyes:

I called back later and spoke to the nurse and mum has improved. Seems pain was a big issue and now she has a morphine patch she has rallied. Should have got her replacements done years ago, too late now. But the morphine patch is working and mum I am told is much improved. I don't know how long this will last, we shall see.
Good to hear, Simon, look after yourself.