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A lifelong friend and me

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,144
Bedford
Glad today went well. Good that your mum was her usual self and so care home manager saw real her and that you and mum liked and feel comfortable with her. Hope your mum settles in well on Tuesday X
P.s whats the labelling thing about?
The need to label clothes, shoes, slippers, photos, glasses and any thing else that can be moved as I understand it
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,660
A Thin Sharpie pen, great way of quickly marking in a name on care labels, collars etc.

some homes have room PIN numbers that they attach to your PWD clothing & belongings. But ask the home about their policies & under etc.

Dads is a sharpie pen labelling system with name or initials

Mums respite care was the pin system, but at double the price I guess you pay for the care you get.
It was the same number of residents but over 3 floors & the rooms were amazing & all with en- suite bathrooms. Each floor had a couple of hydrotherapy baths !!

There were still the issues that dementia brought but the number of care staff were almost tripled!


Care staff ratios have become more noticeable since, along with Dads care homes use of bank / agency nurses. Very different situation 12 months ago.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,023
Yorkshire
The need to label clothes, shoes, slippers, photos, glasses and any thing else that can be moved as I understand it
Oh right. Thank you x
My mum keeps saying if she ever goes in home they put you in anybodys clothes and other people use your stuff, I didn't think they did but said I'll sew name labels in your clothes but I don't think they do that.
Thinking about it I Suppose if a person takes something out of their room and puts it down somewhere staff wouldn't know whose it was and I suppose people could go in other peoples rooms by mistake too and pick things up.
 
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canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,183
South coast
Thinking about it I Suppose if a person takes something out of their room and puts it down somewhere staff wouldn't know whose it was and I suppose people could go in other peoples rooms by mistake too and pick things up.
Yes, this is exactly what happens in a dementia care home, people with dementia have a very fluid notion of ownership. You cant afford to be precious about it - its impossible to stop. You just have to be vigilant about labelling everything and dont send in anything valuable or of sentimental value.

Mum lost a pair of trousers and a couple of T-shirts during the 3 years she was in her care home. Also quite a few pairs of pants, but I think she either binned them, or flushed them down the loo! Everything else that went missing got found and returned. There were a couple of near misses with mums teeth - she took to wrapping them in tissues and hiding them around her room - often in the bin!!!
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,383
cornwall
The need to label clothes, shoes, slippers, photos, glasses and any thing else that can be moved as I understand it
Maybe take photos of clothes on your phone as well as anything else.Just in case labels come off and stuff goes missing.
 

Toony Oony

Registered User
Jun 21, 2016
556
Brilliant news @Palerider - Tuesday will be here in no time, and I hope that all goes well.

Re: Labelling - Slightly off subject, but important - be aware that CH laundries have to wash at high temperatures (for obvious hygiene reasons). Therefore, do not pack clothing that needs special or gentle care. In my experience polyester and cotton fabrics hold up much better.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,623
North West
Thank you everyone for your kind words of support, it has all been greatly appreciated

It isn't over yet, I still have to take mum to the home -which of course is a big step again and then of course there is the ongoing issue of what happens after respite.

I'd better get a sharpie pen and start trying to label clothes, I don't quite know how I am going to do this, because mum won't let me do anything while she is here. I will probably have to take her and then come back and sort and label clothes, pack them and drop them off. I want to copy some of her photos to take too, so that will have to wait till afterwards.

Its inevitable things will get mixed up in dementia care, even now mum mixes my clothes with hers and takes things out of my room -so I can understand how it happens
 

Helly68

Registered User
Mar 12, 2018
592
I concur with the above. Even sturdy clothes need replacing more frequently as frequent hot washes make them fall apart quickly.
I use sew in labels as these last better than written labelling but are a bit of a pain to do.

I prefer sweatshirts or fleeces to woolly cardis. Wool items tend to end up the size of a postage stamp unless the article is a very high synthetic as opposed to wool. Trousers work much better than skirts if the PWD can't transfer and needs to be hoisted. Look for the elasticated waist ones for easy removal. Cotton traders does pretty, good quality sweatshirts with designs that Mummy likes - floral, birds etc. M&S does underwear designed to "hold you in" (only buy the light support) and this can help some PWD stop trying to innapropriately remove underwear or stomas.
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,383
cornwall
Thank you everyone for your kind words of support, it has all been greatly appreciated

It isn't over yet, I still have to take mum to the home -which of course is a big step again and then of course there is the ongoing issue of what happens after respite.

I'd better get a sharpie pen and start trying to label clothes, I don't quite know how I am going to do this, because mum won't let me do anything while she is here. I will probably have to take her and then come back and sort and label clothes, pack them and drop them off. I want to copy some of her photos to take too, so that will have to wait till afterwards.

Its inevitable things will get mixed up in dementia care, even now mum mixes my clothes with hers and takes things out of my room -so I can understand how it happens
Take photos of the clothes etc.So if they go missing you have a record.
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
708
Hi @Palerider, a massive relief for you. I think as @DesperateofDevon said the one thing that I found (but hadn't expected) is that I could spend quality time being Mum's son again. All the best for Tuesday.
 

jugglingmum

Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
5,737
Chester
I'm please to hear respite has been arranged. As many have said your mum might be happier as well. My mum wanted to stay at mine, but once I moved her to her extra care flat and she settled she was much happier and all her anxiety went. She had been trying to behave in a role of mum/grandma and this changed when she moved which I think made her more relaxed (prob some element of hosting tiring her out).

Good luck for Tuesday. You know this is best for your mum as well as you.


I would recommend sew in labels if possible, I have no experience of care homes but having rummaged repeatedly through the heap of school sweatshirts in lost property I noticed in October the sharpie names were readable but by March everything was blurred and you couldn't read it.

I have also heard many reports of iron on labels coming off. Some mums at work ended up sewing iron on labels back on.

I have sometimes used sharpies to label an item of clothing (for cub and scout camp when it was a one off) and whilst it was ok for camp, several months later I noticed the sharpie writing was no longer readable and just a blur. I only wash at 40 or lower so hotter temperatures might obliterate the sharpie quicker.

You can order name labels on line and get next day delivery. I've found delivery very prompt even in peak school order time.

I'd suggest you label the minimum you need to take in overnight and then label some more and take in.

M & S sell iron on name labels on their children's clothing counters, you do need to use a permanent marker to write the name but I understand this lasts longer than the normal sharpie does.

There are threads on DTP about labelling for care homes. Nail varnish has been used for glassed with initials on arms.

If it moves label it. There are stick on labels which are pre printed available for shoes etc on Amazon.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,623
North West
I concur with the above. Even sturdy clothes need replacing more frequently as frequent hot washes make them fall apart quickly.
I use sew in labels as these last better than written labelling but are a bit of a pain to do.

I prefer sweatshirts or fleeces to woolly cardis. Wool items tend to end up the size of a postage stamp unless the article is a very high synthetic as opposed to wool. Trousers work much better than skirts if the PWD can't transfer and needs to be hoisted. Look for the elasticated waist ones for easy removal. Cotton traders does pretty, good quality sweatshirts with designs that Mummy likes - floral, birds etc. M&S does underwear designed to "hold you in" (only buy the light support) and this can help some PWD stop trying to innapropriately remove underwear or stomas.
Thanks @Helly68 , I chuckled about woollens being reduce to the size of a postage stamp. Most of mums cardigans are M&S all synthetic, so hopefully they will survive
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,623
North West
Brilliant news @Palerider - Tuesday will be here in no time, and I hope that all goes well.

Re: Labelling - Slightly off subject, but important - be aware that CH laundries have to wash at high temperatures (for obvious hygiene reasons). Therefore, do not pack clothing that needs special or gentle care. In my experience polyester and cotton fabrics hold up much better.
Thanks @Toony Oony, I am still thinking about your kind messages
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,623
North West
Yes, this is exactly what happens in a dementia care home, people with dementia have a very fluid notion of ownership. You cant afford to be precious about it - its impossible to stop. You just have to be vigilant about labelling everything and dont send in anything valuable or of sentimental value.

Mum lost a pair of trousers and a couple of T-shirts during the 3 years she was in her care home. Also quite a few pairs of pants, but I think she either binned them, or flushed them down the loo! Everything else that went missing got found and returned. There were a couple of near misses with mums teeth - she took to wrapping them in tissues and hiding them around her room - often in the bin!!!
@canary thank you, you are an amazing resource on here, and I am glad you have helped