Well the social workers have been and made an assessment, two this time, but this is now 'best interests' and there is no room left go to. To cut a long story short, they listened to what I had to say and I listened to what they had to say. Then we had a discussion about where we are at with mum and how she has changed. The recent not knowing where home is sometimes is new so we are at an 'inbetween' stage, plus the UTI, where she may recover or may not (I fear this will have knocked her back, and she probably won't go back to where she was before). We all agreed that the negatives for mum remaining at home are now on the verge of outweighing the positives. In the end we decided against the fitting of a gate and fathomable locks, as knowing mum she would in all likelyhood attempt to climb the fence or back gate, potentially resulting in unecessary harm.
We went back over the options of day care, and how things are going with the carers, which to be honest is a mixed bag. Day care isn't an option as there is no way mum will allow the carers to put her in a taxi to get there when I am at work. We also talked about her daily care needs such as washing, hygiene and eating and drinking, which have become much more difficult for me to assist with.
I also made it clear that I was happy to care for mum when not working, but when I am working I can't attend to her needs and to be fair to me the burden of worry is exceeding that which it should do when I am work, and this is obvious to close colleagues who know me well.
I explained that I was now carryng out what mum wanted me to do for her as her advocate if we got to this point. That whilst we are now faced with a difficult situation, what options are left?
The SW's gave two only options in order, baring in mind mums wish to stay at home:
- The fitting of door sensors and a decent tracker with help if she wanders, supplied by social services
- If that fails then respite care for assessment with a view to a permanent CH placement
I have agreed to this as there are now no other options left and all other possibilities are exhausted.
When dad died and mum had some real insight, we talked about this and what she would want me to do if things got worse for her. I think I have now done everything that I can do in the circumstances. From here on in mums solicitors will now have accept that we on the verge of moving to a CH. It does upset me, but this time round I don't feel the intrepidation I did last time, maybe because I am beginning to reach the point where I know I can't do much more, no matter how hard I try.
Edited: spelling
