A lifelong friend and me

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Palerider, May 19, 2019.

  1. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,667
    Oh my goodness sweet potato fries! Are you in for a treat! Little sticks of yumminess!
    i love sweet potato in soup with butternut squash (& pumpkin! optional but fresh or canned)
    Onions, carrot , celery, garlic sweated down in butter/olive oil/ rapeseed oil add cinnamon, mixed herbs,( I like extra sage & thyme in mine) turmeric, pinch of cayenne pepper or paprika, salt, pepper, add sweet potato, leek, parsnip, butternut squash & pumpkin if required.

    Squirt of tomato paste or fresh/ tinned toms. Add stock to cover the veg & gently simmer till cooked. Blitz & add milk/ cream/ yogurt to thin to preferred consistency.
    I really do just use up what’s in the cupboards. Butter beans ( tinned) often bulk out & thicken my soups & a potato is a great addition when veg supplies low.
    Rule of thumb I just use one of each vegetable when making a soup. Then I won’t get fed up with it. Also chunky cut veg roasted toss in olive oil ( 30-40 mins in oven)with all the ingredients before the addition of tomato paste is a tasty easy meal~ Bonus is I can turn leftovers simply into soup!

    Oh yes food is my go to comfort...
     
  2. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    909
    Male
    North West
    I like them roasted as a change to normal roast pots, haven't tried them as fries yet
     
  3. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    909
    Male
    North West
    Today and yesterday mum has had a fix on the new car, she loves driving around in it so much she even wants to go out in the evening. As much as I like the fact mum finds this exciting, I can't keep on driving round all day long.

    I also can't get something out my head I intervened in at work on Friday....I'll come back later when I have the quite time to write about the experience
     
  4. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    909
    Male
    North West
    I have just finally got mum to wash her hair -HURRAH HURRAH
     
  5. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    909
    Male
    North West
    Well mum washed her hair with a little help, dried it with her curlers in and then brushed it with the wrong brush. She was so funny with her hair stuck up, and mum was laughing too she looked like someone who just had an electric shock. She has now retired in anticipation of going out tomorrow in the car as she says 'for a walk' :rolleyes:
     
  6. Lynmax

    Lynmax Registered User

    Nov 1, 2016
    253
    I can picture that!

    Now that my sister is caring for mum for 20 hours a week, she is working miracles with cleanliness! When my sister tells you to do something, you don't argue so even mum is having a shower and washing her hair without complaining, they've bought a few new tops that actually fit and some makeup so mum no longer uses a biro as an eyebrow pencil!

    It's become apparent that mum has forgotten how to do some things, she admitted to my sister that she cannot use the washing machine or tumble dryer anymore and we suspect the shower controls were beyond her as well.
     
  7. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,667
    It’s the biro that got me!
    x
     
  8. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    909
    Male
    North West
    Mum can still use the washing machine and the shower, but she said something I hadn't thought of, she said it frightened her doing it on her own, so I stayed with her. Then we couldn't find her curlers because she has got to the point of putting everything in the wrong place, or should I say not where they should be. I can't find where all her knickers have gone to, they were here a week ago. I think she has had accidents and then binned them, or they are hidden away somewhere. So today its a case of popping to M&S and purchasing new knickers and some new trousers that fit (she has lost weight again).

    Yesterday I bought her some new slippers as she seems to wear them in quickly these days, probable due to the fact that she shuffles more and bends the backs on them.

    Its her birthday on 30th September and I'm not sure what to do for the day. Any ideas ??
     
  9. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,712
    Female
    South coast
    When mum was in the later stages of dementia and in her care home I organised a small party. I reserved one of the rooms and decorated it with balloons and a "happy Birthday" banner. I invited a few (not many as I didnt want to overwhelm her) of her friends and ordered a birthday cake with candles and her name on it. We sang Happy Birthday, she blew out the candles and we ate the cake while I helped mum with her presents. Then the friends went home. It wasnt too much for her, she enjoyed the decorations and a birthday cake with candles with people singing Happy Birthday was deeply ingrained in her memory, although she was constantly surprised that it was her birthday :D. It was a happy occasion.
     
  10. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    5,269
    Female
    Chester
    We had my mum to our house this year for her birthday, the whole time she was amazed it was her birthday. As I brought the cake into the room with the candles alight she didn't think the cake was for her.

    With trying to work part time, and look after the children (including the travel and training time for their respective sports) I've never had any time to do anything more.

    You said your mum enjoys a drive out so would a drive to a National Trust property for afternoon tea and cake (lots of cake) work - or some where like Blakemere Craft village which I think isn't too far from you, lots of little shops to look round if your mum can be trusted not to pick things up. There are probably other similar places nearer to you.
     
  11. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,667
    Cream tea with some of her friends at her home. My mums friends did this & she still talks about it!
    X
     
  12. Jaded'n'faded

    Jaded'n'faded Registered User

    Jan 23, 2019
    508
    Female
    High Peak
    How about a 'tea at the Ritz' type affair? Get out the best porcelain and a couple of those tiered cake stands (charity shops always have them!) Then you can make tiny scrummy sandwiches with the crusts cut off, pastries and yummy cakes.

    You could make it special with a nice tablecloth and napkins even if it's just the two of you. And add suitable background music, candles, etc. of course... (Napkins, table decs, etc. also available at your local charity shop!)
     
  13. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    909
    Male
    North West
    Seems like afternoon tea is on the cards thanks @canary @jugglingmum @Jaded'n'faded and @DesperateofDevon , but I won't be making it as I also need to not make life anymore complicated, I think a better place to have a cream tea is at Chatsworth House, one of mums faves. While she still remembers its given me the idea to get another visit in, before the memory fades for good :)
     
  14. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    909
    Male
    North West
    Mum loves cream cakes and it would be a welcome change to jam doughnuts
     
  15. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,667
    Oh slightly jealous, very glamorous!
     
  16. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    909
    Male
    North West
    We've done a few rounds of Chatsworth, here is mums fave room, the great dining hall

    Chatsworth dining room.jpg
     
  17. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,712
    Female
    South coast
    Oh wow, looks fab

    Pity you cant use it for her birthday bash :p
     
  18. Toony Oony

    Toony Oony Registered User

    Jun 21, 2016
    491
    Hi @Palerider - an afternoon tea at Chatsworth sounds amazing. I hope your Mum really enjoys it.

    If it was me I would contact their Customer Relations Dept, perhaps by email or letter, and really lay it on thick about how much your Mum likes it there, and say that it's all about making memories etc etc - (this is a time to really tug their heartstrings!!) See if they can offer something special for her. Even just letting them know it's her birthday, may mean they will bring out a cake with a candle on for her to blow out ..... and every other visitor there who is having afternoon tea will absolutely join in with a rousing chorus of 'Happy Birthday to You'.

    If your Mum didn't like the new car so much, I would have suggested a nice car with a driver to whisk you both there. Perhaps you could buy her something special to wear? A lovely soft scarf in a pretty colour perhaps?

    And if Mum doesn't mind her photo taken - take lots and lots of photos on your phone, and then after the event make them into a mini photo book for her?
     
  19. Bikerbeth

    Bikerbeth Registered User

    Feb 11, 2019
    395
    Bedford
    I have Mum’s 90th birthday in Oct. we have decided a lunch for close family one weekend and then afternoon tea for 6 close friends the following weekend. I love a traditional afternoon tea and Mum definitely likes the scones and cakes so fingers crossed it will all work. Bit far for us to travel to Chatsworth and that sounds like it will be good
     
  20. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,667
    Definitely a posh frock moment! It’s very beautiful - now on my ever growing list of things to do, places to visit. I know you will have a wonderful day
     

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