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A lifelong friend and me

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,654
South East
Wow that’s quick ! Doesn’t give you much time :rolleyes: Hope the viewing tom goes well 🤞and I wish you a good visit with your lovely mum .
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
866
Getting ready to visit mum tomorrow as well. I'm a bit apprehensive but I guess thats to be expected
Hi @Palerider, I think I would feel the same after not seeing Mum for so long, but it is simply wonderful news that you can see your lovely Mum at long last. I'm sure she will be thrilled to see you.

I do hope you find somewhere to live very soon, that must be awful to have that hanging over you.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,418
South coast
I hope you find somewhere, Simon
Id offer my spare room (you would be very welcome), but the commute is a bit far.........
 

DianeW

Registered User
Sep 10, 2013
737
Lytham St Annes
Hope you have a lovely visit with your Mum and the viewing goes well and you get the property.

It is a worry how quickly these things happen, I hope you do have somewhere you can stay in the interim, but that also means you will have to arrange storage for furniture etc!!!

Have you got leave available for when you move???
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,699
eek that is a very quick completion date @Palerider, so I hope you like the place tomorrow and someone's spare room turns up in the meantime. Is there any accommodation at the hospital you can use at a pinch?
Hope the visit to your mother goes well.
 

AliceA

Registered User
May 27, 2016
2,854
Wishing you well, it will be so good when you are settled.
i hope the visit goes well, Alice
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,935
North West
watkin.observer
Thanks everyone

Its all going to be rush to get sorted, but in a way I am glad because letting go of this place is going to be hard after all that has taken place. There is an emptiness here now and its time to take a deep breath and move on ☺. It won't be easy but the destination I knew would come one day is reached.

Today I have been planning mums birthday presents and seem to have gone overboard, but I don't care she'll have a few nice things to unwrap on 30th Sept and some flowers delivered.. Until then its a box of mini battenbergs -I hope they are still one of her faves if she will eat them.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,654
South East
They are my Mums faves too 😊 If you can’t spoil your mum on her birthday then when can you ! I’m sure she will love opening all her goodies .
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,556
Bedford
I hope the accommodation finding and the visit to your Mum goes well. I love a battenberg but I think it is the marzipan I like more than the sponge!
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,935
North West
watkin.observer
Today I sat in the barbers staring at the mirror and silent, thinking about yesterday. I mean't to make an entry on TP last night, but I was lost for words. I realised I wasn't lost for words at all, just that I couldn't find a way of expressing how I feel after visiting mum yesterday. The truth is I don't know what or how to think about this anymore. I do know I was upset, but thats not really what's dwelling on my mind.

Yesterday I waited in the visiting room to see mum and the carer went to get her and came back and said she didn't want to move. We waited a while, and then I heard mums voice coming towards the room, and there she was in a wheelchair. But she wasn't like before. Sat before me was a skeleton draped in skin. Her eyes sunk and cheek bones so prominant she was the definition of gaunt. Sat before me was a weak, frail old lady who I love very much and who's spirit is almost gone. She spoke with me and slowly she realised I was someone familiar, but not as before. I suppose we can never know if there is recognition or not because sometimes recognition is there but the ability to use words is not, but there is still a connection though vague now. She was tired, so tired and just wanted to close her eyes at first until she realised I was someone familiar, but even so it lasted for 20 mins and it was time to let her go and have yet another sleep. This is painful, because even now as I write I am teary and even though I know mum would not want me to sit here feeling this, I can't help it and I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to deal with this constant demise by dementia robbing mum of her golden years. I have realised that along this journey I have never been given the chance to say goodbye and now in the firm grasp of dementia I am puzzling how to. I would give anything to undo this, but thats the frustrating part, there is nothing that can be done.

I have booked a visit for mums birthday. She rallied for a while after talking with the carer it seems that is now fading. Even though I feel like this I am glad I made sure I visited her, because the way covid is going it won't be long before there is another lockdown and then ...well.....
 

Lynmax

Registered User
Nov 1, 2016
554
I am heartbroken to hear what your mum looked like, your use of words were very vivid and pulled no punches! Makes me wonder what my mum looks like now after her brush with Covid 19 but still no visiting allowed.

On top of all that, you have to find somewhere to live quickly, not an easy task even when you are only focused on that one thing.

I have a spare room you could use but I think the commute would be too far.

I hope your visit to your mum for her birthday goes well.
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,699
I hate the way dementia takes our loved ones inch by inch and the restrictions around covid make trying to connect with the person that is still there more and more difficult.
As my dear mother in law always says look after you @Palerider