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A lifelong friend and me

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,856
South coast
there is nothing left here now, just a shell of what was home and the warmth of my mums hospitality -all gone.
I remember that feeling
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

You have done very well and very quickly, its not at all easy.
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,488
Thinking of you @Palerider. My mother hadn't lived in her place that long when I had to clear it, and she never was a hoarder, which made things much easier. I hope that was the hard bit and a buyer with a good offer comes along soon so you can move on with the next stage of your life.
{{{{more hugs}}}}
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,848
North West
Thanks everyone

I took early leave from work today and slumped in the chair when I got home - I am so tired 😴

I think its time to move from here now, even though the property isn't sold yet, staying here is just prolonging the inevitable final goodbye and sometimes it doesn't do to linger too long. All good things must come to an end and this part of the book is almost a closed chapter in my life, something I never thought would come so soon. But looking back I and mum have had more time than many get before dementia takes its final hold, and for that I am grateful.

Well I must tidy up quickly and give the hob a quick clean before bed -we don't want the photographer getting annoyed tomorrow as I won't be here when he visits. Time to put on my brave face and move on 😉
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,488
Hope the photographer did the place justice. It always puzzles me when I'm looking at houses on line and the sellers haven't bothered to tidy up. Looking at unmade beds and left washing up makes me wonder what hidden horrors I might find if I bought the place.
Good luck with the selling and moving on. Don't you work miles away, so renting near work temporarily might make sense?
Thinks of you and your mum {{{hugs}}}
 

Just me

Registered User
Nov 17, 2013
263
Well that's it, the house is complete and also very empty now. There is an echo in the kitchen as I type. Its been a strange weekend with the anniversary of dads passing and the final throws of sorting the house out. I am also feeling very lonely, more because there is nothing left here now, just a shell of what was home and the warmth of my mums hospitality -all gone. Work tomorrow and I haven't eaten yet. The photographer is coming on Tuesday but thankfully I won't be here.

Time for reflection and some thought on where my journey will take me next...👣
Wherever your journey takes you @Palerider, I wish you peace and happiness 🦋
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,848
North West
Hope the photographer did the place justice. It always puzzles me when I'm looking at houses on line and the sellers haven't bothered to tidy up. Looking at unmade beds and left washing up makes me wonder what hidden horrors I might find if I bought the place.
Good luck with the selling and moving on. Don't you work miles away, so renting near work temporarily might make sense?
Thinks of you and your mum {{{hugs}}}
Yes I commute and have done for five years -100 mile round trip while caring for mum, how I did this I don't know but I did. I have thought about moving closer to work, but its not somewhere I want to live -don't get me wrong its a nice town but its not my roots or my home. I have decided to move west from here, which will knock a good half hour off my commute but lets me live close to home and not too far for visiting mum on days off -if and when visiting is re-established. I think after all that has passed, that living away from home now would be difficult, I guess I am hanging on to all that is left -a place, but its important to me to stay as local as I can. Its a sad moment becuase mum is one of the last locals here in the village with a family connection, most people are now new comers (no disrespect).
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,848
North West
Yesterday I got a call while at work from the CH, mum needs some new slippers. I mentioned that I'd left a second new pair on top of mums wardrobe, but of course her nurse couldn't find them :rolleyes: -even in the advent of Covid-19 its good to see things still go missing, there is still some sense of normality at least! Anyway the nurse was on the phone while looking and I heard mum chatting and so she put mum on the phone. Mum recognised my voice and sounded pleased to hear me but also upset, which in turn upset me, she askedif I would be calling again which came out of disjointed words and then she went. The nurse came back on the phone and I could hear mum chatting away to her and she seemed pleased about the call even though it was a minute if that. I was of course at work and walking around with teary eyes and escaped to take 5. I find it quite haunting listening to my mum on the phone but not able to see her, I really think I should be visiting mum so I will be back on this today.

Two pairs of new slippers have been ordered, one pair same as before and a new style which we will see if better
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
795
Hi @Palerider, where on earth do those slippers go (and other errant belongings)? One of the great unsolved mysteries of the Care Home.

Must have been difficult speaking to Mum in those circumstances, and hearing her in the background. I really hope you can visit, they should be looking to put something in to place in your Mum's situation.

All the best. Stay strong.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,848
North West
Hi @Palerider, where on earth do those slippers go (and other errant belongings)? One of the great unsolved mysteries of the Care Home.

Must have been difficult speaking to Mum in those circumstances, and hearing her in the background. I really hope you can visit, they should be looking to put something in to place in your Mum's situation.

All the best. Stay strong.
Indeed it is a great mystery and I wonder sometimes if there is a great mountain of slippers in the sacred heart of care home land?

Yes I was upset hearing mum being upset because she heard my voice and it obviously meant alot to her and also me. I am putting together a letter to address this as I don't see how this deprivation of rights can continue under the circumstances when no one can answer me with any evidence that visiting restrictions are useful in such circumstances -I can't find any evidence or direct guidance, and I also can't get hold of the care home manager as she is very elusive, unless she wants something from me. I must stress that mums care is excellent so I don't have any issues with the home, but they seem unable to address any discussions around visiting which is now becoming a tad annoying.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,848
North West
Finally have the house sale pamphlet and I am pleased to report @Sarasa the photographer has done a good job plus all my hard work has paid off -looks very tidy/smart in the pics, and with all the clutter gone shows off the size of the rooms and gardens.

I have had more bad news today about the only other surviving relatives, my uncle Harry has now gone into hospice care -he has terminal cancer and decided not to continue palliative treatment. His wife (obviously my aunt and mums SIL) is hoping that what time remains is a peaceful passing. Soon there will be only three immediate relatives left, my mum, aunty and mums cousin :(. Its seems 2020 is going to be one of 'those years'
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,848
North West
Well the new slippers have arrived, one the same model as before and a new model which is a seude boot type and lined with fluffy stuff as mums feet swell so much. Each pair are labelled in three ways so in theory it is impossible to loose them or at least not to identify who they belong to:

20200709_162553.jpg
20200709_162509.jpg
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,226
South East
They look lovely and comfy . One would hope they could not possibly be lost now ! I do not like odd numbers and had such high hopes for 2020 but I too will be glad to see the back of it .
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,402
Bedford
Glad the house photo/details came out good so all your hard work and late night cleaning paid off.
You sound like now is the time to go and I wish you well in finding somewhere suitable whether bit is for a short or long time.
love the pink slippers - surely they cannot be lost although they might be coveted by others
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,848
North West
Well the house went on the market yesterday and there are now four viewings booked for tomorrow plus a neighbour is also keen for a vendor viewing -blimey!! I knew it was a sort after area but thats alot in one day. Luckily I will be at work so won't be subjected to the final scrutiny of the viewings directly.

Also news on visiting -in line with the governments announcement last night mums CH are now looking at how to accomodate vsiting hopefully in the next week.


Must dash, home late and work again tomorrow......heres hoping theres offers soon , better crack on and find a new home too
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,408
Yorkshire
Wow that's a good start on the viewings, looks like all that hard work you did has paid off on making house easy for people to imagine themselves in. Hope you get some good offers soon and it all goes smoothly x Hope you get to visit your mum again soon x
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,488
That's brilliant news. We didn't get as many viewings as that in six months when we sold our previous place. Estate agents seem keen that the vendor isn't on the premises nowadays, so being at work seem a better option than mooching around trying to find an open café to wait in! Hope you get at least one good offer today.
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
2,226
South East
That’s great news , hope you get an offer very soon 👍 and also get to see your lovely mum very soon too . Take care .
 

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