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Yes one thing at a time, I wouldn't enter a PhD project now till end of the year or start of next year. I have however found an area that is under researched in dementia care so for now its proposal time which is manageable.One step at a time is indeed a good way to proceed. I am also arranging estate agents to come in and see Mum’s bungalow to sell (to pay for CH fee). It was never my home and I find it difficult to start clearing it out so it must be so much harder for you. So what you said does make sense.
I hope the friends turn out to be reliable and practical to provide the necessary motivation and support.
Something to fill a void and having something to look forward to is always a positive. A PhD would be stressful for me but if a project grabs your interest then that sounds good. Please don’t overstretch yourself though and take on too much with the house sale, moving etc; as you are more that aware, you do have some tough times ahead so you need to have some time to be kind to yourself too ( I hope that comes across with the kind intention it is meant with - when my Partner died I throw myself into so many activities/challenges to fill the void that one day I just broke down and it was a while until I could ‘cope’ with life again)
Yes good advice, I have one at 1% coming on Saturday and need to find two more and I also need to get the house tidy for pics and of course viewing.......which reminds me I still haven't got the front door lock fixed since mum broke it and wouldn't openI recommend you get at least 3 valuations and read the agent’s contracts. Some have very long tie in up to 20 weeks. Both times we used a small local chain of agents with a 6 week contract and a fee of 1% + Vat.
I used to put stuff in the boot of my car @PaleriderWell again I didn't sleep well at the start but after getting up and then going back to bed I nodded off. I have taken leave until next Monday as I was exhausted and the last few months with one thing after another, some of which I haven't posted about has drained me espcially the pressure of the LA on selling the property, which although I was organising didn't seem to ring home to the financial assessor despite my plea for some reprieve becaus of lockdown -they still increased the fees and sent out letters knowing there was no movement in anything to do with property -it got me me utterly stressed.
So today its brunch time and then much needed tidying, although I have no idea where to put stuff while the estate agent visits??
Thanks @Toony Oony just posted before I read yours!Sound advice there from @Melles Belles and good to get the ball rolling ...
Remember @Palerider that whatever Estate Agents say - and they are good with the old chat - they, like lots of other businesses really need custom at the moment. They have had difficult times in the last couple of years. The commission they quote will often be reduced if you ask - just remember 'those who don't ask - don't get'. A good line is to find the one you like the best, tell them how much you want to use them over their competitors but mention that the sticking point is their level of commission!
I don't know how many agents you have in your area but it's always a good idea to go for a range - the most popular, a small independent and perhaps one that's got a reputation for fast turnover (there's always one!) and ask them when they value for 3 prices - a get me now bargain price, a reasonable price to sell within an acceptable timeframe and a cheeky price that you could achieve in time. This will help you find a sensible price to market at (some agents will give a hugely inflated price to get the custom and tell you to knock down after a couple of weeks, others will value low to turn it over quickly). Do your homework and find out what other similar properties have sold for, and highlight any plus factors. If you think that some things are less than perfect and may possibly deter a prospective buyer - think how you would sort them out, and give that as a ready made solution to the agent eg' I know the paint is peeling on the back door, but I expect the Buyer will want to choose their own colour'. 'Some people may find the room small, but it's so cosy'. The agents will appreciate these 'excuses' to use when they conduct viewings.
As for clearing, you will know the drill: KEEP - SELL - CHARITY - TIP - STILL TO BE DECIDED (make this the smallest pile!)
When I moved Mum from her house to her Retirement Apartment there was so much to clear (bit of a sentimental hoarder was Mum!) It was easier when leaving Apartment to CH. The things I did not want or realistically could not keep, I either sold and the money went straight into Mum's account, or I gave away. I did take photos of lots of things though - just for the memories!
I have found Freegle or Freecycle to be really useful and they are up and running again now, even when Council Tips and Charity shops remain closed. People need and want the most amazing things and you can organise it all without even seeing the person, including the collection!
Oh @Woo2 the invisible brother on no account will be involved in this, because he will only tend to his own motives and see what he can get out of it for himself, and besides I think he has forgot I and mum exist. There is a line, and thats one I won't cross come what may.We got 3 valuations for mums bungalow and they all said the same but we went for the local agent we have used several times, I knew I would use them though to be honest . I wouldn’t worry too much about moving stuff , they tend to say just de personalize it . I’m probably being really silly here but could your invisible brother help ? We packed everything up , rubbish as well and bought it home and I sorted some of it out over a few weekends, most of it is in the loft though to be gone through at a later date , feels wrong to get rid of things while mum is still here . Could you hire a storage place for the important things for now ?