I haven't been on the site for a while, will update my thread soon, it's been hectic.
I've read through your thread, sorry to hear how your mum has deteriorated, but pleased that you have managed to see your mum. Wishing you strength in the days ahead.
Thanks again for all of your messages -I don't what I would do without TP as I am on my own pritty much with this. Anyway mums peonies have again flowered, such a shame she is not here to see them, she loved seeing these
Thinking of you and your Mum Palerider. I am glad you got to visit your Mum and that she is comfortable. I haven't posted very much but I've been following your journey. What a beautiful rose. I love peonies I've just bought two peony shoots today( half price) from a well known hardware garden and house store.
Can't sleep again so got up up half-an-hour ago. My first thought, has the phone rang and have I missed it? No -phew!
So my anxiety is up at the moment and I am finding this hard not being able to do anything but at the same time knowing I would be able to visit in normal times. .
And then I start reminiscing which sets me off. Admittedly I did manage to go into mums room and look round, which is the first time in months. It is still as she left it the day I took her to the care home and little reminders of her advancving dementia -tissues stuffed everywhere . Maybe this is making me realise it really is time now to face how final this all is? I would like to be able to escape and go for breakfast somewhere or a coffee but lockdown has taken care of that.
Nobody calls anymore, all text messaging and whats app -not useful for a good old healthy chat! Can't stop thinking about mum and just being able to pop in and keep company for a while. Oh well there's always coffee and more coffee and merging yesterday into today. I'm goin g to go back to work this weekend as there isn't much more that I can do for now and sitting here doing nothing isn't helping.
You have entered the twilight world of End of Life. I remember it well. Everything blurs and narrows down to just one thing, or rather, person. It occupies your whole mind and you both wish for and dread the final outcome.
We can be with you during this time, even if only virtually
Work was along day but occupied me for most of it until early evening and then my mind started to wander elsewhere -so I made the decision to leav at that point rather than make mistakes.
On the way home I called the CH to see how mum is and she had rather wabbly decided to get out of bed and walk two meters to her chair (with lots of assistance) and then went back to sleep . A reminder of how strong willed mum is. She ate some of her chicken curry, but I can't help thinking she thought it was a king prawn curry -one of her faves and so ate some of it. The first in weeks! Of course it won't reverse things, but it gave her some pleasure, so I am told.
When I visited last week I went armed with fruity and lemonade ice lollies and Pellegrino limonata, which has given her some comfort and pleasure, so I need to purchase more as she is taking this currently. Other than that she is the same at the moment. I had a long chat with a medical colleague yesterday about things and realistically think we are looking at days to a few weeks at the most. The colleague also raised spiritual needs, something that I had overlooked, especially in mums generation so I will call on Monday and address this, mum has always had her faith although not a church goer.
Sensible to come home when you knew you needed to. I'm also glad that you managed to talk to a real life person about your mum's situation.
Thinking of you over the next days and weeks.
I'm quite keen on San Peligrino Lemonata too. Quite fancy one now.
I’m glad you left when you knew it was the right time to and that mum enjoyed some chicken curry and the drink, they are lovely and refreshing . Nice to get another perspective on things and that they raised the spiritual side which if important to mum is a nice idea . Take care of yourself .