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A lifelong friend and me

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,347
Kent
As mu ch as I could see this was coming I can say hand on heart it doesn't make it any easier
It never does , particularly now with Covid-19 putting all of us in isolation.

It`s good of the care home to help you arrange a visit and I hope you get there in time.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,347
Kent
As mu ch as I could see this was coming I can say hand on heart it doesn't make it any easier.
We can never be truly prepared for this stage however much we think we are.

I hope you manage to get to your mum in time and that she continues to be peaceful with no signs of distress. It`s all we can ask for.
 

Splashing About

Registered User
Oct 20, 2019
433
I hope you are still with her. The home were going to let me stay overnight (to my amazement) but mum slipped away whilst I was fetching overnight stuff. Having spent so long in a suspended state of “end of life” it still took me by surprise x
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
1,814
North West
Thank you all of you for your kind words of support, I can say that the last few weeks have been dramatic, but the last few days a teary journey indeed.

So today I got to visit my best friend mum. I stayed with her for an hour and she recognised me -I couldn’t believe it! She has awoken for now, but is clearly very unwell and very frail, she doesn’t look like mum at all, just a very thin and weak little old lady, not able to move her legs and very tired and barely taking anything to drink or eat. Her hands are cold and have the give away purple mottled tinge.

She held my hand and squeezed it tightly as she recognised me which got me all teary but I had to stop that, didn’t want her picking up on my emotions. She told me she was very tired and felt unwell and that it was time to go home. She kept on dosing off and then would wake and fall asleep again. There was some conversation, but it didn’t last long. I kissed her on the forehead and she waived goodbye as I walked out and closed her eyes. I’d put Classic FM on for her and as she dosed she smiled to the music.

She was more lucid than she has been since January and she seemed exhausted and weary of this long journey.

I don’t know when or if I will see her again. I think she may last a week perhaps two, but unlikely. I love her so much and she is a star even now, she tried her best for me. I am glad I saw her and glad I know that above all else she is comfortable. I won't be allowed to visit again unless she deteriorates further.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
62,074
69
Dundee
I’m so glad you saw your mum @Palerider and that she recognised you, also that she was comfortable.

Your love for your mum shines through.
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,388
@Palerider, so glad you had a good visit with your mother, and she recognised you. She must be as proud of you as you are of her.
Hope you have some friends that can support you in real life as well as on here, in the next few weeks. Look after you.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,261
Yorkshire
So glad you saw your mum and she recognised you today, it must mean a lot to both of you to have been able to see each other again.
Sending you lots of love x
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
1,947
South East
So pleased you got to see Mum and hold her hand and talk with her , sounds a very touching time . Good to hear that she is comfortable and peaceful . Sending you big hugs and strength. Please take care of yourself . X
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,287
Bedford
So pleased that your Mum recognised you and that you were able to see your Mum for a while. I am also glad that you were able to see your best friend with a smile on her face.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,347
Kent
Your mum tried her best for you @Palerider as its so obvious you have always tried your best for her. I hope it brings you some comfort to have seen her even though you are still dreadfully upset at the situation you find yourself in.
 

Banjomansmate

Registered User
Jan 13, 2019
1,863
Dorset
You can hold on to the memory of today’s visit no matter what happens in the following days. Your Mum knew you were there and, having seen how she has deteriorated you know that when the time comes it will be the kindest thing for her and that is the important thing.
Try to get a good night’s sleep tonight.
Best wishes,
Carol.
 

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