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Hi @Palerider, it is a really tough job, emotional and really daunting. My sibling came over for a couple of days and we went through everything and agreed on what we would keep and removed that from the bungalow. I then had a couple of charities (that Mum supported) come round and take what they thought they could sell (not sure if they are doing that at the moment), one of which furnished properties for vulnerable people so they took a fair bit. I then paid for a house clearance company for the rest of it (it was worth the money as I could just leave them to it - I couldn't bear to have done it myself).I'd best start clearing the house finally, but rather stupidly I can't seem to part with anything and have given up on the exercise for today.
I think you have hit the nail on the head. It's about health AND wellbeing and there needs to be a focus now on the latter, to consider some workable safe solutions that will allow close family to visit loved ones, perhaps by appointment and perhaps for only a short time.But what is really getting to me is that no one in the media or anywhere else is addressing the real needs of those affected -the people who are living with dementia and their world view.
Its a tough one @Helly68 and thankfully we have specialists to make the decions with our inclusion (in a perfect world)It's really interesting that you say that about changes to Donepezil. My Mum is also in late stages and I wondered how much of a difference it made. Also, Mummy went on Lorazepam for a while, which we all (eventually) agreed turned her into a zombie, so we stopped using it. However, I found it hard as I was expected to give a view as her advocate (and I totally accept that responsibility, though it terrifies me) but I have no clinical knowledge. We were also balancing a hoped for reduction in her asbo behaviour (hitting, kicking, spitting etc in personal care) with giving her so much medication that it in itself affected her. It is tough. And then sometimes, as you say @Palerider, if I agree or disagree they are surprised.
She's off Lorazepam now as we finally agreed her "decline" was in some part due to the drug itself. Dementia is so complex it is like solving clues in the dark. I worry all the time have we made the right decisions, but we can only be guided by the professionals (whilst keeping a sharp eye on things) and do our best.