A life in the day of.........................

[Sue J]

Sorry it seems the home are not keeping you as informed of changes with Dhiren as you'd like Sylvia. I sometimes think that an appointed relative should be allowed to write in the daily notes too for people in care homes as they can give so much insight into the person and then things which might be overlooked by staff are brought up at handover because they are written down.

I'm sure your increased presence at the home will help Sylvia. Reading your thread reminded me of a paralysed man I nursed many years ago whose wife spent hours at his bedside. The care he got was excellent but her presence really helped us to nurse this man who we couldn't speak to because he'd had a severe stroke - she taught us who he was and trusted us to care for him. Her watchful eye was an enabler to us and I'm sure yours is too. I hope your next visit relieves some of your anxieties.

 

[Grannie G]

Thanks for all comments, they help put everything into perspective, it`s always good to hear points of view from others.

I will visit more frequently.
I will ask to read the records on a regular basis.
When Dhiren has been prepared for lunch, while he is waiting in his wheelchair, I will wheel him into a quieter room for half an hour or so, tell him it is our time for some peace and quiet, and stay with him to see if it helps.

 

[winda]

I think on-going friendships between residents' regular visitors can help. My father was comforted by a wife telling him how kind the staff were to my mother when she was upset in his absence.

I have found these friendships to be invaluable. Other visitors have often reassured me that my husband is fine when I'm not there and I have also been able to do the same for them.
Also, as I posted on my thread I was able to inform another resident's wife that her husband had fallen the previous day, although it had not been logged.

I do feel a need to visit each day to keep an eye on things as well as to see my husband. I don't know if I will always feel that I need to do this.

I hope the situation at the CH calms down a little so that Dhiren feels happier.

 

[Butter]

I do feel a need to visit each day to keep an eye on things as well as to see my husband. I don't know if I will always feel that I need to do this.

There are many people who are not able to do that. And it is no measure of their love and care. My father missed one day's visit over two years, the day he had his cataract done. That was no measure of his love and care either. I think it is so easy to feel guilty whatever we do or don't do.

 

[winda]

There are many people who are not able to do that. And it is no measure of their love and care. My father missed one day's visit over two years, the day he had his cataract done. That was no measure of his love and care either. I think it is so easy to feel guilty whatever we do or don't do.

Oh yes Butter I do agree.

I have had the odd when I haven't visited and I suppose I have felt guilty but then I feel guilty that he is there at all so it never goes away.
I'm sure most people are the same.

 

[Grannie G]

I have never thought it necessary to visit daily but only have recently because of the upset.

But

I shouldn`t get myself in such a state.

Dhiren was really pleased with himself today and wearing what I thought were someone else`s glasses.
My mistake. All the residents have new glasses and their names and the dates of their eye tests have been printed on the arms, by the optician.

The manager came immediately to reassure me he has been fine. The owner R had asked her to be observant just in case he was depressed.
He doesn`t have any infection.

I discussed my feelings Dhiren is unsettled by the busy, busy atmosphere in the home now, after two and a half years of relative peace and quiet.
No one was distressed today.
J was wide awake and in a really happy mood.
K, the lady who kept crying for help was sitting quietly.
Two new residents were exchanging their newspapers.
All was very well.

I asked to see Dhiren`s file at least weekly and was told it wasn`t a problem. I shall ask for it tomorrow or Friday.

So for now, all is well.

 

[jeany123]

I am pleased everything has settled down again and Dhiren is fine, it must be a relief to you that all is well,

Jeany x

 

[Loopiloo]

I have never thought it necessary to visit daily but only have recently because of the upset.

But

I shouldn`t get myself in such a state.


So for now, all is well.

That is good, Sylvia, and pleased to read you had a good visit with Dhiren. The residents sounded back to being settled so it seems likely this was a passing blip?

I imagine many of us get in a state from time to time, especially following a relatively calm and settled period, and Dhiren has been so settled and content for a long time. We are carers, we want the best, any upset causes us concern.

I hope your trust in the care home is now being restored.

You mention asking to see Dhiren's file, which I think is a good thing to do. It gives an insight into the daily happenings over and above any change or problem we all expect to be informed about.

I know in Henry's care home there is a daily recording of each resident, and presumed it went into the Care Plan file - which is now a massive folder. I was told I could read it anytime and in the early days I several times looked through it although never completed that at each reading.

I am wondering if the daily records are kept in separate folders as I would like to read Henry's, particularly concerning recent problems. Also because due to my health over a long time I've missed visiting as regularly as before.

Advice would be appreciated, with apologies for intruding on your thread, Sylvia.

Loo xx

 

[nellbelles]

Sylvia

So pleased to read that the CH is once again calm and Dhiren seems settled, I hope you are once again confident about Dhiren's care.

Love Helen x x

 

[Butter]

Well that is good news. I am pleased.
And on the topic of CH records, I don't know if there are pro-formas provided or not. There must be more variations on record-keeping than I realised.

 

[winda]

Good news Sylvia, you must be relieved.

 

[TinaT]

The worry never stops does it...... Things in the home are not as you would wish Sylvia and have unsettled you very much. It is good that you are keeping your eye on Dhiran's welfare and I hope that the situation improves for you both. Communial living must be hard for Dhiran. I know that it was very, very hard for Ken to take as he was such a quiet person.

I wonder what the ratio of carers to residents is? I know that if there is a shortage of staff things do quickly deteriorate. As regards to carers writing down observations, I'm afraid I have very little faith that they actually observe any individual resident except for things which are blatantly obvious and even then serious issues can be missed. Routines and chores seem to take over carers thoughts and little else gets noticed.

All you can do is what you are already doing which is keeping a close eye on things. I hope with all my heart that the staffing improves quickly. I know if Dhiran is settled then you will be settled.


xxTinaT

 

[Grannie G]

Thank you all for your support.

I do feel better today but will still go every day for a while until I`m reassured. It was such a relief to see how Dhiren was today.

 

[larivy]

Glad Dhiren seemed more settled today perhaps things are settling down in the home now love laraine

 

[cragmaid]

Sylvia, today was a good day. Tomorrow will be whatever it wants to be. Sleep well tonight.x.

 

[Helen33]

the residents have new glasses and their names and the dates of their eye tests have been printed on the arms, by the optician.

Did you mean that each resident has their personal name on the glasses? I think that is a brilliant idea especially for people going into a home or hospital. I didn't know it could be done.

I hope that today is another good visit and that Dhiren is able to bask in a calm atmosphere once again even if it is in another room just for a wee while.

Love

 

[Grannie G]

Did you mean that each resident has their personal name on the glasses? I think that is a brilliant idea especially for people going into a home or hospital. I didn't know it could be done.

All names were printed by the optician on the inside of each arm Helen. I was amazed and very impressed. There`ll be no mix up of specs in that care home in future.

I wondered how good Dhiren`s new glasses would be. I couldn`t imagine how accurate his test would have been. But when he looked at the television, he smiled. He was watching the news so I could only assume he could see it more clearly.

 

[Christin]

I am pleased that Dhiren was more settled, Sylvia, and I hope you did sleep well.

As an aside to the glasses, I have also been told that dentures can be engraved with names.

 

[Helen33]

As an aside to the glasses, I have also been told that dentures can be engraved with names.

I am gobsmacked. I think it's marvellous

Love

 

[Grannie G]

Here is happy Dhiren wearing his new glasses.


I was so glad I was there today.

There was such an argument between M, a well established resident, and E a new and very fiesty resident .
E believes the home is hers, as is everything in it.
M is well aware she is in a care home.
E shouting `Get out of my house`
M replying `It is not your house. It`s for everyone.`
They fought over a daily paper.
They fought over the television.
E thought a carer was a doctor, M took no time to put her straight, that he was a carer.
Their voices grew louder and louder and the only way to calm them down would have been to separate them.
But M was waiting for a bath so it would have been impractical.
And M was within her rights. E was the one getting it all wrong but E`s dementia is further down the line.

Another lady, in for respite care, was having the time of her life. It was entertainment for her and she was enjoying every minute.
She made eye contact with me, nodding towards Dhiren. `He`s quiet, ` she said. I agreed. `But , ` she added, `he`s lovely, isn`t he`.

Dhiren didn`t seem too bothered but I was very glad I was there.

Tomorrow M will stay in her room. Her choice, she spends most of the time in her room .