A life in the day of.........................

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sue38

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Mar 6, 2007
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Wigan, Lancs
Sorry Sylvia,

That wasn't much help was it? :eek:

Just that my Dad feels so foolish that we are trying to find ways to boost his confidence.

Yesterday it was such a nice day that my Mum decided to take my Dad out for the afternoon and took him to the Golf Club where he bumped into a number of old friends, including my business partner (also on the skive :mad:). They talked with my Dad and it was all friendly and jolly but afterwards my Dad complained that everyone was laughing at him. :(

I mentioned it to my partner this morning who was stunned. According to him everyone was pleased to see my Dad and he had chatted quite amiably. :confused:

I would say I give up, but I won't. ;)
 

lesmisralbles

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Nov 23, 2007
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I only was away for two hour's

Got the hair done today.
Yes, I look Fab, so I tell myself.
Confused Ron, Mum and SIL were with him.
But he kept getting up, looking for me.
Asleep the rest of the time. I came home, said, do you like my hair?
It is tidy.
What women want's to hear that?
Now, as we speak, he is wide awake, watching Question time, so he tell's me. He is asleep, on and off. But not going to tell him that.
Signing off
Nice Hairdo Lady, alias Mrs Happy:eek:
BarbX:)
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
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Kent
This is why we need Talking Point

Spoke to my sister this morning..........told her about the wallet......her reply?
`Dangle it from the chandelier.` :mad:
 

helen.tomlinson

Registered User
Mar 27, 2008
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Hi Sylvia

Just want to say "good morning" and hope you get through today without to many challenges! I know what you mean about the wallet. This is a regular thing with Alan (and keys) but I think he's got the message regarding keys??!! I have become an expert 'finder' thank goodness and it sounds like you are too.

Love Helen
 

Mameeskye

Registered User
Aug 9, 2007
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The Wallet Story

Reminds me of all the times that Mum's handbag was "stolen"! Her paranoia ran rife too. But if your brain has no memory it has to make up something believable.

When she moved into the nursing home we gave her a purse with a small amount of cash in (about a tenner,enough to make her feel she had some but not enough to worry about if it went missing) but no handbag. I could not bear the thought of the attackes on the care staff should she misplace it.

Luckily she had been in hopsital for a few months so had lsot her attatchment to it. We jsut kept telling her she was like the "Queen" with no need for it.

In later years watching other residents I was so glad we had done this as their dementia progressed and they became agitated when they lost things. Her purse remained in her top drawer virtually untouched for 4+ years!

Hope that today is a better day Sylvia.

My thoughts are with you.

mameeskye
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
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Kent
Thank you Mameeskyeand Helen.

My mother had a deep drawer full of handbags, handbags for every occasion, in every colour, for every outfit.

When she went into the NH, slowly and surely, one by one, these handbags vanished. Each time one went missing, I took her another one, until there were none left to take.

I will never know where they went.
 

desperado

Registered User
Apr 7, 2008
42
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Lancashire England
So pleased to hear that someone else is experiencing the "planted it theory"

Every time Mum "loses" something and either she or I find it - she accuses me of "planting it" "to make her THINK she's going crazy." She must think I'm a really horrible person to do soemthing like that. Yesterday and today it's her new bottle of foundation. I must have it as there are only the two of us in the house and SHE hasn't got it despite putting it in the same place she always does (which same place is that then?). ALL of her jewellery has also disappeared and of course yours truly must have taken it. I told her she can search everywhere in my room but she now thinks I've sold it.
Since reading everyone's different ways of coping, I just say "of course i wouldn't take it!" walk out of the room and have a ciggie outside - come back in and change the subject. It seems to take the heat out of the moment and sometimes she doesn't mention it again. Other times she'dd refer to the same thing an hour or two later or even the next day. This morning she phoned me to ask where her keys were, i told her and she said I think I'd better look for my missing jewellery before I go out. I just suggested she go out first and look for it when she comes back. At least she won't get all worked up before she goes. Anyway no doubt i'll hear from her this afternoon or will have an ear bashing when i get homefrom work. Sorry to go on but it does help to get things off your chest. Thanks for listening.
 

zonkjonk

Registered User
Mar 1, 2007
290
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Melbourne, Australia
my mums security blanket was her handbag....there she was in the NH dining room, complete with her handbag slung over her shoulder,obviously ready to go home ..."any moment now"
my mum had a thing about handbags when she was still able to shop, I think she had at least 15 or so prior to admittance to the NH...as long as she had her handbag she felt OK
well me...I have a "thing" about my keys, but thats another story:)
 

Canadian Joanne

Registered User
Apr 8, 2005
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70
Toronto, Canada
My mother also had a thing about her handbag and dragged it absolutely everywhere. She also liked to have all of her jewellry in it. I did manage to get the jewellry out & kept just a few things in it, comb, change purse, and so on. Of course, at some point in the NH it disappeared, which was really too bad as she had bought it in Florence & it was that gorgeous Italian leather.

I do understand the obsession as I feel funny if I happen to be walking around without my handbag. It's a very rare occurence for me.

Spoke to my sister this morning..........told her about the wallet......her reply?
`Dangle it from the chandelier.`

Sylvia, how about dangling your sister from the chandelier?
 

Kate P

Registered User
Jul 6, 2007
565
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Merseyside
Well I think it's kind of to be expected - my mum's the same - takes her handbag everywhere and has to know where it is at all times.

However, we're talking about a woman who once climbed a mountain carrying her handbag!!

There's a joke isn't there that woman are very protective of their handbags - can't remember which comedian it was that said if a man was getting mugged and needed money his wife wouldn't let him go in her handbag but would say "okay but bring me my bag!".
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,444
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Kent
Sylvia, how about dangling your sister from the chandelier?

My sister is a bit envious of my TP friends, has said they are more important to me than she is. Following her comment this morning, I told her she gave me good reason to value my friends on TP.
She has gone quiet. ;)

We have just had the house upside down once again, looking for the wallet. Dhiren found it himself, this time, on the kitchen unit by the `rubbish` drawer where we keep oddments, including rubber bands. :rolleyes:
 
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Canadian Joanne

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Apr 8, 2005
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Toronto, Canada
Ahhh, family - isn't it a marvelous thing? She's still your sister regardless and so is more important in the big scheme of things. It's jsst that in this case, she isn't as in tune as TP people are regarding AD, as it's her BIL and not say, her spouse or parent.

I have my ridiculous aunt who has said the most ridiculous things. But those tales are best told over a vat of wine or two.
 

Kate P

Registered User
Jul 6, 2007
565
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Merseyside
I'll buy you that vat of wine Joanne - I too have a ludicrous aunt who says the most bizarre and inappropriate things!! I'd love to share aunty stories some day!!

Our best so far is that she keeps asking dad in front of mum, why he isn't back at work yet!!!!:eek::eek::eek: This from a woman who in her whole life worked for a week, decided she didn't like it and so never did it again!
 

Canadian Joanne

Registered User
Apr 8, 2005
17,710
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70
Toronto, Canada
Kate,
The vat of wine sounds like a plan. My aunt is always saying how my mother is "better" when she drinks water or is out in the fresh air. She belongs to the Mormon Church & wanted to bring in "healers" or people of that nature from her church to pray over my mother. She also wanted to bring my mother to an evangelical meeting in an arena because the preacher could perform miracles.

I nixed those ideas fairly quickly.
 

TinaT

Registered User
Sep 27, 2006
7,097
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Costa Blanca Spain
Dear Sylvia,

My mother has said the most terrible things about Ken such as he has gone 'bonkers' etc and if it was up to her she would like me to visit him, 'now and again'. What can one say! At least she has the excuse of being 84 and a bit 'bonkers' herself.

Close relatives need a sharp tongued reply now and again when they overstep the mark. We expect better of them!

xxTinaT
 

lesmisralbles

Account Closed
Nov 23, 2007
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Tina, and everyone, my mum will not come on holiday with Ron and I again. Last year because Ron slept a lot, well she said he spoilt her holiday, I also think she is embarassed, he is not the most elegant diner, but as I have said the restaraunt we go to, well they treat Ron like a King. I can understand other diner's not wanting to see Ron spill his food, after all, they are paying good money for a meal out.
So, when we go this year, I will have Ron with his back to the rest of the diners, and when he has finished eating, he can turn around. No problem to us, (it is their problem)and we still get to go out.
BarbX
 

ChrisH

Registered User
Apr 16, 2008
281
0
Devon, England
Hi all
It's gone midnight so must be time for me to sit down and have a read through some of the days posts. I do feel a bit guilty as I'm a long-distance carer and don't have the daily tortures that many of you are going through, and mum isn't too bad at the moment.
I haven't had too much of a problem with rellies so far. We're not a big family and the ones I'm in touch with have all had experience or are currently experiencing dealing with loved ones with this dreadful disease.
Mum gets a bit loud if we eat out, especially after a glass of red wine! Before she was diagnosed last year my eldest son threatened to go and sit in the car because his nan was embarrasing him. Recently she insisted on taking me out to lunch and then started talking about dad and was getting all upset. Heads started turning and I had to quickly change the subject to get her to calm down. I'm ashamed to admit there have been times I wished the ground would open up!
I read the earlier posts about handbags - yep, that's mum's pet item to lose. Last Tuesday she got into the car to go to my uncle's funeral and had 2 on her lap then couldn't work out why the 'one I always use' had nothing in it. That's because she's put everything into the other one (same colour, similar size, no zip). She insists she hasn't. I ended up taking the empty one and threw it on the back seat where it was promptly forgotten about. She's obviously bought this non-zip one since my last visit - which is a bit annoying as we'd spent an entire morning hurtling round Evesham looking for a bag the right size, with a long strap to go over her shoulder and head (to prevent her leaving it on the bus again), and with a zip to stop her tipping everything out when she picks it up upside down.
How you folks cope with this kind of thing (and much worse) 24/7 I shall never know.
Chris
 
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