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A life in the day of.........................

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Kate P

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Jul 6, 2007
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I too have had times when I've wanted the floor to open up and swallow me down but as I have a toddler it's become less and less - most of the time it's my toddler making me cringe!!!

The only problem we've encountered so far with mum eating out is that if it's a communal dish of vegetables everyone else needs a go at it first or she'll take it all!!!

Barb - as for other diners screw em!!! Why shouldn't you both still enjoy a meal out together. For me, if people don't want to see the diversity of society they should be the ones staying in!!

Joanne - yes we too have had over zealous relatives wanting to pray and "lay hands" on mum. Now I am a christian so I'm not anti religion but I think some things are beyond prayers - I pray that mum will be peaceful, I pray that dad will have strength but I never pray that she will be better - seems like a pointless prayer to me. On one level I was tempted to see what would happen if they'd tried to lay hands on her - given mum's current temperament I think they'd have all found themselves with various injuries!!!
 

Grannie G

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Apr 3, 2006
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Kent
Full marks Social Services.

Last Monday we had our bathroom measured for `non urgent` grab rails.

This morning, we had a phone call from Social Services. `Would it be convenient to call this afternoon to fit the grab rails.`

You bet it would. :)
 

gigi

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Nov 16, 2007
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That's very impressive, Sylvia...:)

It's also something I hadn't thought about when they come to see Eric tomorrow. Thanks!!!

Love gigi xx
 

Skye

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Aug 29, 2006
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SW Scotland
Joanne - yes we too have had over zealous relatives wanting to pray and "lay hands" on mum. Now I am a christian so I'm not anti religion but I think some things are beyond prayers - I pray that mum will be peaceful, I pray that dad will have strength but I never pray that she will be better - seems like a pointless prayer to me.

Kate, I'm a Christian too, and I do believe that the power of positive thought can assist medicine where recovery is possible. Like you, I can't see how it would help your mum or John. Even any calming effect wouldn't last.

I'm the one who needs some tranquillity and positive thought just now, so please add me to your list!

Love,
 

Canadian Joanne

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Apr 8, 2005
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Kate and Sylvia,
One of the reasons I kiboshed the miracle-worker & all that is because I know what my mother's opinion was of that type of publicity-seeking TV evangelical preacher and also of "laying on hands". I think she would have got extremely agitated in a huge crowd of people screaming and crying and carrying on. It could have been a complete and utter mess.

On the other hand, Mum spoke very clearly then and decorated her speech with lots of four letter words. Might have been interesting to have been a fly on the wall.:D:D
 

Margarita

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Feb 17, 2006
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london
We have just had the house upside down once again, looking for the wallet. Dhiren found it himself, this time, on the kitchen unit by the `rubbish` drawer where we keep oddments, including rubber bands

Reminds me how my mum use to be with her purse always losing it , me pulling bed out to look underneath it , pulling settee out . Mum would not settle till I found the purse. then when she found purse money would be missing Notes , she also have me thinking one of my kids had taken it , because I new that I never took it , then it turn up in the one of the Zip of the few hang bags she been using , because she forget where she put a hang bag then use another hang bag .


This morning, we had a phone call from Social Services. `Would it be convenient to call this afternoon to fit the grab rails.


How are you both getting on hope your not lock in the in toilet with the Grab rails Only Joking .
 

Grannie G

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Apr 3, 2006
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Kent
The grab rails are great Maggie, thanks. They have made it so much easier for Dhiren to feel safe, getting in and out of the bath.
Even with them, I need to help him organize his body. he doesn`t seem to know which way to turn. :(

Paul has been today to watch the football with Dhiren. He seemed completely absent. Paul remarked on it, asked him a couple of times if he was all right, and he said he was. But there was no animation, no expressions of excitement.

Aftre Paul had gone, Dhiren said `When is Paul coming again? He is such good company.`
 

Margarita

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Feb 17, 2006
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london
Even with them, I need to help him organize his body. he doesn`t seem to know which way to turn.

Yes that how it use to be with my mother , she get in the wrong way so found it hard to get out , don't get worry that one day he may find it hard to get out of the bath By himself so you have to help him out , now that gets very hard on your back you could get a bath lift , but then he may get scared of it of getting off on it as he may feel his going to lose his balance as that happen to my mother . So I would give that a miss if I was you & go for a walk in shower.
Hope I am not stressing you with too much information as its not happen yet , but if his finding hard now getting in out of bath it’s better to be forewarn about thinking of getting a walk in shower.

But there was no animation, no expressions of excitement.

My mother can get like that, when my Son comes around or my friends , then ask when he or my friends are coming again & she just been sitting they with no expression all the time .
After Paul had gone, Dhiren said `When is Paul coming again? He is such good company.`

Don’t take that personally because if Paul was looking after him full time, he would be thinking what good company you are.
 
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Grannie G

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Apr 3, 2006
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Kent
Maggie, with all the worries you have had lately, you sound as if you are rising above it. You have such a strong character.
Is there any news of your son?

Now Maggie, if you saw our bathroom, you would see there is absolutely no room for a walk-in shower. That is why I have had to get a bath with an electric seat that goes up and down, and a door in the side so Dhiren can step in.

And when I posted Dhiren`s comment about Paul being good company, it was to identify that Dhiren was aware Paul was with him even though he appeared in a world of his own.

And Maggie, if Dhiren prefered anyone else`s company to mine, far from taking it personally, I would raise my hands in the air and shout `Hallelujah!!` :)

Love xx
 

Margarita

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Feb 17, 2006
10,824
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london
Now Maggie, if you saw our bathroom, you would see there is absolutely no room for a walk-in shower.

Your be amazed what they can do in putting in a shower in a bath room that is small , that fits a bath in it . The OT can advice you tell you what they can do .

I have a very small toilet downstairs & OT came around & told me he can make it into a wet room even leaning in the toilet . so if you have the space for a bath your have space for a walk in shower. you can get a grant for it , even if you own your own home.

Maggie, with all the worries you have had lately, you sound as if you are rising above it. You have such a strong character.
Is there any news of your son?

Yes I am rising above it thanks
 
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Grannie G

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Apr 3, 2006
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Just when I thought things were becoming easier..........

.........I have been through what can only be called a hostile iterrogation regarding my control of Dhiren`s finances.
He has gone to the bank to restore the payments of his pension to his own name.
 

Kate P

Registered User
Jul 6, 2007
565
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Merseyside
Oh Sylvia, I'm so sorry he's back on the finances.

It's so strange how they get things stuck in their head and no amount of persuasion can help. My mum's the same - it's like these thoughts are stuck in her head going round and round in a loop.

I wish I could find an answer for you to stop it but ...

I can send you a hug instead {{{HUGS}}} - not as useful but all I can offer.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
73,094
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Kent
Thanks Kate.
Don`t worry about us, you`ve enough of your own to worry about.

He is not home yet. he has been out for nearly one and a half hours.
 

connie

Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
9,519
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Frinton-on-Sea
Sylvia, just catching up on today.

Well I am glad that Dhiren is back safely with you.
Is home now, exhausted, in a state, didn`t know where he went.
Doesn't know where he has been, probably doesn't remember why he went out in the first place.............until next time.:eek:

Just when you thought things might be calming down. So upsetting for both of you. Sending love n'hugs.
 

Grannie G

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Apr 3, 2006
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Kent
Thanks Connie.

He is still going on about `his` money. I have told him it has been `our` money for 45 years and as long as he insists on talking about `his` money, I will refuse to discuss it.

So he said I`ll be sorry when he is dead. :confused:
 

Canadian Joanne

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Apr 8, 2005
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Sylvia,

I have told him it has been `our` money for 45 years and as long as he insists on talking about `his` money, I will refuse to discuss it.

For the sake of peace and less agitation on his part, would it be easier to simply go along with him? I understand why you feel the way you do, but I think you should try letting go a bit. Just say "yes, let's sort that out tomorrow after........". Do you think it would be worth a try? At this point, I don't think Dhiren will carry anything through, I suspect he's too afraid and confused. But you need to reduce your stress levels, my friend.

Love,
Joanne
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
73,094
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Kent
Tomorrow isn`t good enough Joanne. He`s like a dog worrying a bone when these moods come on. Oh how I wish I could distract him.

If I don`t refuse to discuss, he follows me around the house pestering for answers. And he wants detailed answers, times, dates, amounts, interest rates, how much he has , how much i have, until my head is spinning. And then he forgets what I have said and we have repeat performances.

The only way I can escape is to distance myself. . It`s not good, but the least stressful for me.

But thanks for trying. :)

Love xx
 
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