A life in the day of.........................

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sue38

Registered User
Mar 6, 2007
10,854
51
Wigan, Lancs
Well we enjoyed the match... if not the result... we lost in the dying seconds:(

It didn't start too well. My Dad decided to go to the loo when we arrived. He saw the sign MALE and went in and 2 seconds later came out of the other entrance. 'There was no place to stop'. Went in again and 2 seconds later out again :confused: So we went to our seats. Not sure if he thought his seat was in the gents. ;)

Half time and he decided he needed the loo. I needed the loo too but decided to wait for him outside the gents... and waited and waited.... end of half time and I thought I'm going to have to go in there... was getting enough funny looks as it was...lurking outside the gents... :eek:

The guy who sits next to us then came out and I asked him if he had seen my Dad, at which point my Dad came out totally calm.

Went back to our seats and I sat through the second half with my legs crossed. :D

We lost, but my Dad seemed to be following the game although not all the decisions, but then some of the decisions had the rest of us mystified too....:mad:

So better than I expected. At least tomorrow my Dad will have forgotten we lost :rolleyes:
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
Walking home from mum respite care home Sylvia pop into my mind then hazel , bruce Dick & loads of people name I know from TP telling me its was alright telling care home manger to keep mum in care home.

Give Dhiren a kiss from me xx
 

helen.tomlinson

Registered User
Mar 27, 2008
541
Hello Sue and Sylvia

I've just been catching up with the posts and am realising I am like your mum Sue. I was never like it before but since Alan has become ill, I somehow started correcting him and 'things'. I think unconsciously I was trying to put things right. It was something, some behaviour, that seemed to creep up on me (us) and it is only now, because of TP, that I have started to let go somewhat. I believed I could make Alan better if I could get him to do things right!!! How stupid :eek: Still, at least I now know what it's all about and can now choose not to do it whereas before there was no choice because I didn't know where it had come from and what it was about. There are so many things that irritate me (even to the way Alan feeds the birds) - that's how bad it got. Now I catch myself and think "what does it matter as long as the birds are fed".

Love to you Helen
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,332
Kent
What a good day.

The OT came today to discuss grab rails for the bath and back doorsteps. She was welcomed by both of us. :D

I asked Dhiren to show her the bath whilst I put the kettle on. I hadn`t even had chance to fill it before he was in the kitchen asking me to show `this lady` what we wanted.
OK, I tried. :)
But he was happy to demonstrate his needs and obediently got in and out of the bath to show where the rails were needed.
And the same with the back door....up and down the steps, to show the difficulty he had.

Then we had coffee and he stared ahead, relying on me to make the conversation. But he didn`t get defensive and answered direct questions, although he did give indirect answers.
The OT told him he had been missed at the Relatives` Support Group. He was pleased and said he`d go to the next meeting. :rolleyes:

As she left, he not only took her to the door, but escorted her to the gate, and even waved a cheery goodbye as she drove away.:D

`What a lovely woman,` he said.

Later I went into Ramsgate. I was longer than expected. My mobile rang. It was Dhiren. He was worried about me.
That is the first time he has phoned me in months.

When I got home, my sister told me she had phoned whilst I was out, but he had not answered. Perhaps he couldn`t find the phone.
But he did find it eventually. :)
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Sylvia, what a lovely, positive post.

Didn't Dhiren do well? Let's hope his positive mood continues, and he'll be willing to let others into his life.

Sounds like a successful day, anyway.

Love,
 

BeckyJan

Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
18,972
Derbyshire
Sylvia: I am so pleased the OT visit was successful. I just hope he remembers he has promised to go to the next Support Group!!

It was good to hear that Dhiren missed you whilst out - may the good phase last;)

Take care Love Jan
 

sue38

Registered User
Mar 6, 2007
10,854
51
Wigan, Lancs
Certainly sounds like progress Sylvia. :) My Dad is quite happy to give you a list as long as your arm of his physical ailmemts (he's actually fitter than me) and he is happy to go to the doctors. But will not talk about anything to do with memory, AD and so on.

If my Dad is in alone very often he doesn't answer the phone. Whether this is because he is asleep, in the garden, can't find the phone, or maybe because he is anxious as to who it is and how he will cope with understanding who they are, who knows?
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
John got that he wouldn't answer the phone too, and that was because a) he couldn't understand, and b) he didn't know who it was, names meant nothing to him, he needed to see the person.

For a while if it was one of his family or friends, I'd tell him who it was and hand him the phone for a few minutes, but even that got too hard for him, and he'd just wave me away. It was awkward sometimes when he wouldn't even talk to his sons, I felt they thought I wasn't letting him speak.
 

knackered

Registered User
Apr 8, 2008
21
Sussex
My mother is reluctant even to phone my sister now. She prefers to phone me to find out how she is! Her long-time friends have likewise been consigned to the past. She will still answer the phone- reluctantly, but has trouble understanding because she cannot recall people- except me.

knackered
 

knackered

Registered User
Apr 8, 2008
21
Sussex
Grannie G

But he was happy to demonstrate his needs and obediently got in and out of the bath to show where the rails were needed.
And the same with the back door....up and down the steps, to show the difficulty he had.
Grannie G, that must be such a relief!

My mother so far is adamantly refusing to co-operate with such strategies, but I'm hoping that we can 'have another go' in a couple of weeks with the social worker. I'd like her to have a wet room. But as yet, that's being resisted too.

I hope Dhiren remains positive about the plans. It's small but important things like this that make such a difference to everyone's lives.

Good luck!

knackered
 

lesmisralbles

Account Closed
Nov 23, 2007
5,543
Hi Silvia

But he was happy to demonstrate his needs and obediently got in and out of the bath to show where the rails were needed.
And the same with the back door....up and down the steps, to show the difficulty he had.

I got the point.;)
Barb X
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,332
Kent
Update

And full marks to the OT who phoned to say she had had second thoughts about a grab rail for the back steps.

She felt Dhiren needed something more substantial, more of a bannister type rail, so could she return on her way home and measure up again. :D
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Sylvia, are you beginning to feel there's a chink of light at the end of a long, dark tunnel?:)

And is Dhiren still going to go with you tomorrow? I do hope so.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,332
Kent
There isn`t a group tomorrow Hazel. It on the second Tuesday of the month, so was last week.

I doubt very much he`ll go with me. He is so tired in the mornings, even after a good night`s sleep, he takes ages to shave, wash and dress, then have breakfast, and we have to leave the house at 10.15am.

Also as he can only talk to people one to one, and as his conversation is limited, he will spend a lot of time staring into space and being bored. Then he will get stroppy and make me anxious.

So is it worth it?

If I can get a decent CPN to the house, I think we might be able to move on to a carer, eventually.
 
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