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A life in the day of.........................

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Grannie G, Jun 4, 2007.

  1. gigi

    gigi Registered User

    Nov 16, 2007
    7,788
    East Midlands
    TP Slimming Club..

    Hello Sylvia..

    just remember they're for Dhiren.........:D:D

    love gigi xx
     
  2. sue38

    sue38 Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    10,856
    Wigan, Lancs
    Well we enjoyed the match... if not the result... we lost in the dying seconds:(

    It didn't start too well. My Dad decided to go to the loo when we arrived. He saw the sign MALE and went in and 2 seconds later came out of the other entrance. 'There was no place to stop'. Went in again and 2 seconds later out again :confused: So we went to our seats. Not sure if he thought his seat was in the gents. ;)

    Half time and he decided he needed the loo. I needed the loo too but decided to wait for him outside the gents... and waited and waited.... end of half time and I thought I'm going to have to go in there... was getting enough funny looks as it was...lurking outside the gents... :eek:

    The guy who sits next to us then came out and I asked him if he had seen my Dad, at which point my Dad came out totally calm.

    Went back to our seats and I sat through the second half with my legs crossed. :D

    We lost, but my Dad seemed to be following the game although not all the decisions, but then some of the decisions had the rest of us mystified too....:mad:

    So better than I expected. At least tomorrow my Dad will have forgotten we lost :rolleyes:
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,597
    Kent
    Spoilsport. :p
     
  4. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    Walking home from mum respite care home Sylvia pop into my mind then hazel , bruce Dick & loads of people name I know from TP telling me its was alright telling care home manger to keep mum in care home.

    Give Dhiren a kiss from me xx
     
  5. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,597
    Kent
    It is all right Maggie. It`s perfectly all right.

    Dhiren says thanks for the kiss. :D

    Love xx
     
  6. helen.tomlinson

    helen.tomlinson Registered User

    Mar 27, 2008
    541
    Hello Sue and Sylvia

    I've just been catching up with the posts and am realising I am like your mum Sue. I was never like it before but since Alan has become ill, I somehow started correcting him and 'things'. I think unconsciously I was trying to put things right. It was something, some behaviour, that seemed to creep up on me (us) and it is only now, because of TP, that I have started to let go somewhat. I believed I could make Alan better if I could get him to do things right!!! How stupid :eek: Still, at least I now know what it's all about and can now choose not to do it whereas before there was no choice because I didn't know where it had come from and what it was about. There are so many things that irritate me (even to the way Alan feeds the birds) - that's how bad it got. Now I catch myself and think "what does it matter as long as the birds are fed".

    Love to you Helen
     
  7. gill@anchorage5

    gill@anchorage5 Registered User

    Apr 29, 2007
    211
    Southampton
    Keep your chin up Maggie

    Just catching up on threads & just wanted to say I'm thinking of you Maggie. Take care

    Gill x
     
  8. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,597
    Kent
    What a good day.

    The OT came today to discuss grab rails for the bath and back doorsteps. She was welcomed by both of us. :D

    I asked Dhiren to show her the bath whilst I put the kettle on. I hadn`t even had chance to fill it before he was in the kitchen asking me to show `this lady` what we wanted.
    OK, I tried. :)
    But he was happy to demonstrate his needs and obediently got in and out of the bath to show where the rails were needed.
    And the same with the back door....up and down the steps, to show the difficulty he had.

    Then we had coffee and he stared ahead, relying on me to make the conversation. But he didn`t get defensive and answered direct questions, although he did give indirect answers.
    The OT told him he had been missed at the Relatives` Support Group. He was pleased and said he`d go to the next meeting. :rolleyes:

    As she left, he not only took her to the door, but escorted her to the gate, and even waved a cheery goodbye as she drove away.:D

    `What a lovely woman,` he said.

    Later I went into Ramsgate. I was longer than expected. My mobile rang. It was Dhiren. He was worried about me.
    That is the first time he has phoned me in months.

    When I got home, my sister told me she had phoned whilst I was out, but he had not answered. Perhaps he couldn`t find the phone.
    But he did find it eventually. :)
     
  9. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Sylvia, what a lovely, positive post.

    Didn't Dhiren do well? Let's hope his positive mood continues, and he'll be willing to let others into his life.

    Sounds like a successful day, anyway.

    Love,
     
  10. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Sylvia: I am so pleased the OT visit was successful. I just hope he remembers he has promised to go to the next Support Group!!

    It was good to hear that Dhiren missed you whilst out - may the good phase last;)

    Take care Love Jan
     
  11. sue38

    sue38 Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    10,856
    Wigan, Lancs
    Certainly sounds like progress Sylvia. :) My Dad is quite happy to give you a list as long as your arm of his physical ailmemts (he's actually fitter than me) and he is happy to go to the doctors. But will not talk about anything to do with memory, AD and so on.

    If my Dad is in alone very often he doesn't answer the phone. Whether this is because he is asleep, in the garden, can't find the phone, or maybe because he is anxious as to who it is and how he will cope with understanding who they are, who knows?
     
  12. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    John got that he wouldn't answer the phone too, and that was because a) he couldn't understand, and b) he didn't know who it was, names meant nothing to him, he needed to see the person.

    For a while if it was one of his family or friends, I'd tell him who it was and hand him the phone for a few minutes, but even that got too hard for him, and he'd just wave me away. It was awkward sometimes when he wouldn't even talk to his sons, I felt they thought I wasn't letting him speak.
     
  13. knackered

    knackered Registered User

    Apr 8, 2008
    21
    Sussex
    My mother is reluctant even to phone my sister now. She prefers to phone me to find out how she is! Her long-time friends have likewise been consigned to the past. She will still answer the phone- reluctantly, but has trouble understanding because she cannot recall people- except me.

    knackered
     
  14. knackered

    knackered Registered User

    Apr 8, 2008
    21
    Sussex
    Grannie G

    Grannie G, that must be such a relief!

    My mother so far is adamantly refusing to co-operate with such strategies, but I'm hoping that we can 'have another go' in a couple of weeks with the social worker. I'd like her to have a wet room. But as yet, that's being resisted too.

    I hope Dhiren remains positive about the plans. It's small but important things like this that make such a difference to everyone's lives.

    Good luck!

    knackered
     
  15. lesmisralbles

    lesmisralbles Account Closed

    Nov 23, 2007
    5,543
    Hi Silvia

    But he was happy to demonstrate his needs and obediently got in and out of the bath to show where the rails were needed.
    And the same with the back door....up and down the steps, to show the difficulty he had.

    I got the point.;)
    Barb X
     
  16. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,597
    Kent
    Update

    And full marks to the OT who phoned to say she had had second thoughts about a grab rail for the back steps.

    She felt Dhiren needed something more substantial, more of a bannister type rail, so could she return on her way home and measure up again. :D
     
  17. lesmisralbles

    lesmisralbles Account Closed

    Nov 23, 2007
    5,543
    Hi Silvia

    Makes me want to---------
    Barb:rolleyes:
     
  18. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,597
    Kent
    ............what, Barb. Throw up, or ask for help for Ron. ;)
     
  19. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Sylvia, are you beginning to feel there's a chink of light at the end of a long, dark tunnel?:)

    And is Dhiren still going to go with you tomorrow? I do hope so.
     
  20. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,597
    Kent
    There isn`t a group tomorrow Hazel. It on the second Tuesday of the month, so was last week.

    I doubt very much he`ll go with me. He is so tired in the mornings, even after a good night`s sleep, he takes ages to shave, wash and dress, then have breakfast, and we have to leave the house at 10.15am.

    Also as he can only talk to people one to one, and as his conversation is limited, he will spend a lot of time staring into space and being bored. Then he will get stroppy and make me anxious.

    So is it worth it?

    If I can get a decent CPN to the house, I think we might be able to move on to a carer, eventually.
     
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