A life in the day of.........................

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Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
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Kent
THanks Folks.

The meeting was good.

The CPN and SW were coming today to say they could not longer support my wish to keep Dhiren at home because the Care Package no longer met his needs and he was at risk.
So it was as well I was able to make the decision otherwise it would have been made for me.
This has made both Paul and I feel so much better because the timing was perfect.

I have just had an email from Terry who visited the home after the meeting to see another resident, so stopped to have a word with Dhiren while he was there.
Message from Terry `so far so good`.

I also phoned the home. Dhiren keeps going into the wrong room, into Room 7 when his is Room 5. So much for me worrying about shabby furniture, he doesn`t regognize any of it.
I was told he is fine.

So that`s that. Now I have to get used to living a different way just as so many before me have done.
 

dillydaydream

Registered User
Sep 30, 2009
75
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Buckinghamshire
That must have been such a relief to get confirmation from the 'professionals' that your decision was not only the right one but the only one possible Even though we know in our hearts what is right, it is so reassuring when everybody else agrees!
Thinking of you often. :eek:
Carolyn
xx
 

sue38

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Mar 6, 2007
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Wigan, Lancs
Well the timing was absolutely perfect. You had independently come to the same conclusion, but you were able to make the decision, knowing it was the right one, and without it being forced upon you.

What you didn't tell us was how was lunch??? ;)
 

sad nell

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Mar 21, 2008
3,190
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bradford west yorkshire
Sylvia and Paul that must be such a huge weight off your shoulders, that you had made the right decision at the right time, and that Dirhan seems to be accepting, hope you had a lovely family meal, the first of many, did you take any photos bet you were wearing your lovely purple coat, try sticking a photo of Dirhen on his door, or something that he identifies with,maybe a pic of India or Manchester,or perhaps thats not a good idea , but you know what i mean, are you feeling rested or is it still all a bit of a shock.sleep well love Pam
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
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Kent
What you didn't tell us was how was lunch???
Lunch was lovely thank you Sue. Italian. I had mushroom risotto [without cheese] and No Pudding. :eek::eek:

Pam I didn`t take any photos. Didn`t even think to take my camera. :(

I noticed all the residents had their photos on the doors, and their names, so I hope it won`t be long before Dhiren has his.

I`m not feeling rested yet, I`m still on pins, I don`t know why.
I feel as if the house echos emptiness.
But at bedtime, I go to bed with relief, knowing I`ll not be dialling 999 or be cross and exasperated with Dhiren for sliding out of bed.
 

hazytron

Registered User
Apr 4, 2008
1,166
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SOUTH LAKES
Have been completely out of touch with your change of circumstances Sylvia.
Having followed your posts since joining TP you have always shown kindness in others troubles and courage in your own.
Your loving care for Dhiren will continue only in a different way.
You are in my thoughts
Love Hazel
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,447
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Kent
Thank you Hazel.
How are things for you ? You haven`t posted for a while. Are you still keeping your distance from your mother?
 

Helen33

Registered User
Jul 20, 2008
14,697
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Dear Sylvia,

I imagine it will feel like echoing round the house during the day for quite a while. It might help when spring and summer comes and you can begin to get out into the garden a bit.

These are such difficult days but I am so pleased that the timing was so perfect meaning that every possible avenue had been tried and tested. Some avenues worked for a while but in the end there was nowhere else to go but during the process of trying and testing you made sure good provision was made for the future which has meant that Dhiren is in good care!!

Lots of love x
 

Nan2seven

Registered User
Apr 11, 2009
2,525
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Dorset
Dear Sylvia,

Glad to hear the outcome of the meeting.

How lovely that you have been out to lunch with the family to-day.

I find that when Brian is not at home (in respite or in hospital, as earlier this week - he now has a magnificently colourful black eye), I go to bed later than usual, sometimes after midnight, simply because I know that I will not be getting up through the night and that I can sleep in a little longer if my little body decides that that's what it needs. No staying up too late, now - but enjoy.

Love, Nan XXX
 

donkey

Registered User
Aug 16, 2009
1,225
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sutton coldfield
and what lovely pins you have sylvia:D:D:D they are not used to having a rest are they so you probably have restless leg syndrome:eek::eek: just take each day as it comes as you always have and enjoy your peace and tranquility and most of all enjoy dhiran. look forward to spring when you can walk with dhiran in the garden and enjoy the beauty of the birds singing and the warmth on your faces ohhh im getting all sentimental:):) love lyn xxx
 

zoet

Registered User
Feb 28, 2008
705
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55
Macclesfield, Cheshire
Take just little steps, each day at a time Sylvia, to adjust to this enormous change. I have utter respect and admiration in the courage you have shown, and the wisdom of your decision. You have a great strength of character and a beautiful soul. I hope Dhiren settles quickly and that you find some peace. The quality of the time you and Dhiren can now share should be better for it. Its a heart breaking situation for you, but I truly believe it will be a positive adjustment. All I can do is send my love and thoughts.xxxx
 

jude1950

Registered User
Mar 23, 2006
182
0
Lincolnshire
thinking of you

HI Sylvia,

Although I do not post on the forum nowadays I do keep checking back to see how everyone os coping. I was sorry to see that the time has come for Dirhan to go into care, james has now been in care since august 2008, like you the sleep depravation took a toll on my health and compromised the safety of both of us, added to which the violence from James was too much. It took me a while to adjust, I still find myself justifying why james is in care but he is very well looked after. I still cry at times , especially when he recognises me for a fleeting moment .. joy tinged with sadness when that happens.
love to you both.

Judith
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,447
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Kent
Thank you for coming back to post for me Judith.

The life in my days is going to be very different from now on, I can see.
I went out with the family today and had six hours with Paul, Julie and our grandchildren, the first really long time with them for years.
It was so good, making up for lost time.

From now I will have Life with my family, Life with Dhiren and Life by myself.

How strange.
 

susiesue

Registered User
Mar 15, 2007
2,607
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Herts
So glad you had a good day today Sylvia and spent lots of time with your family and grandchildren.

I'm afraid that it is only at times like these that we realise the sacrifices we have made as carers. We have four grandchildren all five and under and I get upset to think about how quickly they are growing up and how little I am able to be involved.

I think respite is also a 'taster' of what life is like outside our 'caring' world.

Take care

Love
 

Winnie Kjaer

Account Closed
Aug 14, 2009
2,011
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Devon
I wish you lived near, my garden is full of them and your husband could have his pick.

Bless you Sylvia he would like that, he always thought of others before himself. He is such a caring man. I myself prefer fresias but anything is always most welcome. I just love flowers. Take care
 
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