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A life in the day of.........................

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Grannie G, Jun 4, 2007.

  1. CYN

    CYN Registered User

    Jan 4, 2008
    702
    east sussex
    dear Sylvia

    So pleased it went as well as it could today ,you are one brave lady and your devotion was an example to behold.Try to sleep well tonight knowing you did everthing possible to keep your Dhiren safe and at home.
    sending you a sussex sunset.

    love Cynthia x x
     

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  2. Helen33

    Helen33 Registered User

    Jul 20, 2008
    14,697
    WOW that's beautiful:)
     
  3. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    60,127
    Female
    Dundee
    Good night Sylvia and god bless. Izzy x
     
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    70,084
    Kent
    Dear Cynthia

    It`s almost worth going through the mill to be presnted with one of your wonderful photos.
    Thank you.

    Lynne. Lyn, Helen, Winnie , Izzy and Pam.
    It seems my Care Manager thought Dhiren was at risk at home. I hadn`t thought of it like that but on reflection I suppose she is right.
     
  5. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,442
    I've said it before, Cynthia, and I'll say it again, you are really talented. It's not just what you take, it's the way you take it.

    Try to go to bed now Sylvia.

    Love
     
  6. nellbelles

    nellbelles Volunteer Host

    Nov 6, 2008
    8,510
    leicester
    Sylvia

    No you will still have that, but in a safe controlled environment (for you both), where the time will be for you and Dhiren to share. NOT for you to struggle to cope.

    I hope that once Dhiren settles again you and the family will be able to visit and spend some good times together. I presume Paul will still be able to go and share the football with his Dad?
     
  7. TinaT

    TinaT Registered User

    Sep 27, 2006
    7,095
    Bolton
    I'm glad that you told Dhiran he was going into convalescence. After two years Ken still believes and accepts this. It would be too much for him to bear being told that this was now his permanent home. I know others feel differently and think that the settling in is better but we all have to cope with this enormous thing in our own way and we know our husbands best.

    Now - no cleaning cupboards all night Sylvia!!! Granny T has fobidden you. If you want to stay up, by all means do so but put the telly on, put TP on, make a nice drink and a snack and relax!!!

    xxTina
     
  8. milly123

    milly123 Registered User

    Mar 15, 2009
    896
    England
    sylvia just read your post with great sadness but im sure you have made the wright decisoin i know how you are feeling and no words can explain how you will be feeling if you had carried on your health would have suffered like mine did i should have lisened to dr and family i yr before i made the dreaded decisoin dont forget sylvia you are still a carerer it does not stop when they enter a home my thoughts are with you milly
     
  9. Nan2seven

    Nan2seven Registered User

    Apr 11, 2009
    2,525
    Dorset
    Dear Sylvia,

    So much, so quickly - but I am quite certain that's a good thing.

    I imagine you're feeling huge relief, sadness, resignation almost, and a mix of loneliness and freedom.

    Thinking of you and sending love,

    Nan XXX
     
  10. sue38

    sue38 Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    10,854
    Wigan, Lancs
    I'm glad to see you're home and that things went as well as they could do.

    I'm glad too to see your red light! Hopefully you are getting some well needed sleep. :)
     
  11. Helen33

    Helen33 Registered User

    Jul 20, 2008
    14,697
    I just wanted to say 'good morning' Sylvia. I am glad to see that you are offline and hope you are catching up on some much needed rest:)

    Love
     
  12. Westie

    Westie Registered User

    So sorry

    Sylvia, I'm so sorry that you have inevitably reached the stage of Dhiren needing residential care. You have been so wonderful with him, but it's time to let others take the worries from you.

    I thought of you so much yesterday. I can remember the day Peter went into care as if it were yesterday and can still feel those conflicting emotions of relief and deep, deep sadness. It will get better in time..............
    Mary-Ann
    x
     
  13. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    70,084
    Kent
    #10493 Grannie G, Feb 18, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2010
    Good morning Folks

    I slept well but still woke at 2am and 4am. But these times all was well and I was able to turn over and go back to sleep.
    Oh yes Nan, you are so right.

    It had to come, if not now, in a very near future. I knew loss of mobility would be my downfall but it was not loss of mobility alone, but loss of mobility accompanied by dementia. It was the dementia which blocked the holding of information, stopped the awareness of danger and prevented Dhiren learning from experience.
    If he had known to ask for help it would have been manageable.

    I don`t feel good this morning but I`ll have to learn to live with it.
     
  14. sad nell

    sad nell Registered User

    Good morning from me too Sylvia, hope you managed sleep,Nan and others have put into words so well the feelings of lonliness and freedom that this illness produces for so many carers at this time,am sending love to all your family , Pam
     
  15. susiesue

    susiesue Registered User

    Mar 15, 2007
    2,607
    Herts
    Good morning Sylvia - thinking of you and sending lots of love and (((HUGS)))

    Love
     
  16. donkey

    donkey Registered User

    Aug 16, 2009
    1,225
    sutton coldfield
    sending you love sylvia and hope you have a peacful day lots of love xxxx
     
  17. Beezed

    Beezed Registered User

    Apr 28, 2009
    446
    Southampton
    Morning Sylvia,

    Glad you managed to sleep.

    I still feel guilty for abdicating my caring role but your comments about being 'at risk' and failing mobility combined with dementia made things clear that my decision was the right one.

    All we ever want is for our loved ones to be kept safe. The home you found sounds lovely. You are quite right, decor is the least important thing as long as it is clean and can provide what Dhiren needs.

    Wishing you a good day with no stress.

    Love,
    Jeanne.
     
  18. Mameeskye

    Mameeskye Registered User

    Aug 9, 2007
    1,669
    NZ
    Morning Sylvia,

    I am glad you managed to sleep.

    This is so true of this disease and so wearing on the carers. The only other stage of life this happens is as children gain mobility. It is absolutely exhausting then too, but you know that it will get better. There are numerous safety aids which you can use to enable you to have bits of time to do things...and luckily many children sleep a bit more soundly. Unfortunately what is a safety aid in a child becomes a restraint for an adult with dementia and is something we are conditioned not to do. CHildren are also smaller and lighter and you can, back conditions permitting, lift them out of harm's way!

    You could do no more, but there will be grief now for another loss. Hopefully though the benefits of shifting the burden of care will mean that you can enjoy the level of caring which you want to give. I always told Mum that she was in the NH until the doctors said she was fit enough to look after herself. I knew that time would never come but it made Mum feel better.

    Hope that you have a leisurely time ahead and can regain your strength to enjoy a different style of carng life, but being less careworn at the same time!

    ((((hugs)))

    Love

    Mameeskye
     
  19. Winnie Kjaer

    Winnie Kjaer Account Closed

    Aug 14, 2009
    2,011
    Devon
    Hello Sylvia, Just wanted to say Good morning too, I have been thinking about you ever since I got up. Today is going to feel very empty for you without doubt, keep busy but in a leisurely way. You will soon develop a new and different routine, but one which will be kinder and more acceptable to you. Hope you manage to have a good day. Take care x
     
  20. burfordthecat

    burfordthecat Registered User

    Jan 9, 2008
    1,707
    Female
    Leicestershire
    Morning Sylvia

    Just wanted to wish you a calm and restful day. Please be gentle with yourself, your current world has just been stood on it's head and it is going to take time to adjust.

    Love Carina x x
     
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