Just want to echo what other people have said Sylvia you are an inspiration and its lovely when reading your posts to be able to picture what you and Dhiran look like.
Much love
Jeanie x x
Much love
Jeanie x x
A life in the day of.........................
- Thread starter Grannie G
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Thanks everyone.
When I look at my Moderator Bio photo, taken only 3 years ago, it shocks me how much Alzheimers has taken out of me.
Dhiren has always loved having his photo taken.
Just a snippet from this morning;
S `I`ll see if United is being televised this afternoon.`
D `How can it be when it`s raining like this.`
When I look at my Moderator Bio photo, taken only 3 years ago, it shocks me how much Alzheimers has taken out of me.
Dhiren has always loved having his photo taken.
Just a snippet from this morning;
S `I`ll see if United is being televised this afternoon.`
D `How can it be when it`s raining like this.`
Dear Sylvia
In a bittersweet way, I love your "snippets" of daily life and conversations with Dhiren. Thank you for sharing with us.
I'm sure I'm not the only one nodding my head in recognition of the bizarre turns they take sometimes!
Bless you both
In a bittersweet way, I love your "snippets" of daily life and conversations with Dhiren. Thank you for sharing with us.
I'm sure I'm not the only one nodding my head in recognition of the bizarre turns they take sometimes!
Bless you both
I Just took a look the only different to you is your face, Sun Tan 3 year ago , as now you look very white in that photo , Now Sun Tan always make us look heathy .
If you treated yourself to a Tan
, bet it make all the different . Now how tried you feel from the inside from 3 years ago is a different story .If if was not sun Tan 3 years ago , could of been make up, to look more Tan
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Dear Sylvia,
Lovely to see your photo, so glad I didn't miss it.
So pleased I can picture you both in my mind now.
Love to you both,
Lovely to see your photo, so glad I didn't miss it.
So pleased I can picture you both in my mind now.
Love to you both,
This morning.......
D `What is this place?`
S `B**********`
D `How long have I been here?`
S `Five years.`
D `So we are settled here then.`
S `Yes.`
D `How long have you been here?`
S `Five years, the same as you. We came together.`
D `Did we?`
S `Of course we did.`
D `Is this our house?`
S `Yes.`
D `Is it paid for?`
S `Yes.`
D `How could we afford to buy it?`
S `We sold our old house.`
D `It was a good move. It`s a nice place to live.`
S `Of course it is.`
D `What work do I do?`
S `You don`t work, you are retired.`
D `If I haven`t worked for five years, where does the money come from?`
S `You haven`t worked for seventeen years, and the money comes from your pension.`
D `So I`ve got no worries then?`
S `Not a worry in the world.`
We`re getting there, I think. [I hope]
D `What is this place?`
S `B**********`
D `How long have I been here?`
S `Five years.`
D `So we are settled here then.`
S `Yes.`
D `How long have you been here?`
S `Five years, the same as you. We came together.`
D `Did we?`
S `Of course we did.`
D `Is this our house?`
S `Yes.`
D `Is it paid for?`
S `Yes.`
D `How could we afford to buy it?`
S `We sold our old house.`
D `It was a good move. It`s a nice place to live.`
S `Of course it is.`
D `What work do I do?`
S `You don`t work, you are retired.`
D `If I haven`t worked for five years, where does the money come from?`
S `You haven`t worked for seventeen years, and the money comes from your pension.`
D `So I`ve got no worries then?`
S `Not a worry in the world.`
We`re getting there, I think. [I hope]
Dear Sylvia,
It is difficult to understand how one idea gets fixed in their minds.
Dee is convinced her relative lives in Denbigh about 20 miles from here rather than in London and she cannot understand why we don't just go and see him.
Any way, as you say, you're getting there - keep trying,
Love to you both,
It is difficult to understand how one idea gets fixed in their minds.
Dee is convinced her relative lives in Denbigh about 20 miles from here rather than in London and she cannot understand why we don't just go and see him.
Any way, as you say, you're getting there - keep trying,
Love to you both,
Something seems to have happened to Dhiren`s ability to regulate his body temperature. He is either too hot or too cold. After food, he becomes very hot, he removes his jumper, shirt and vest and then puts just his shirt back on, complains the house is too warm and turns off the heating and gas fire.
Does anyone else experience this? I don`t know if it`s AD related or something else?
So yesterday..........
D `Will you put the fire on.`
S `When did you turn it off?`
D `I didn`t turn it off. You must really detest me.`
S `What are you talking about? I know you must have turned it off when you were too hot after breakfast.`
D `Why do you detest me so much? You bought the cheapest fire, and I can`t use it. You want to make life hard for me. I will buy a new fire. You leave it to me. This place gets on my nerves. I will be going tomorrow.`
Does anyone else experience this? I don`t know if it`s AD related or something else?
So yesterday..........
D `Will you put the fire on.`
S `When did you turn it off?`
D `I didn`t turn it off. You must really detest me.`
S `What are you talking about? I know you must have turned it off when you were too hot after breakfast.`
D `Why do you detest me so much? You bought the cheapest fire, and I can`t use it. You want to make life hard for me. I will buy a new fire. You leave it to me. This place gets on my nerves. I will be going tomorrow.`
Before I a full realisation of the behavioural implications of dementia, I went through a strange phase with Jan.
My Mum had moved into a place where there was no space for her nearly new washing machine, so we agreed to store it for her in case she moved again.
Our own washing machine, a Hoover, was still working after 27 years! One day it finally broke, so we started to use my mums as by then it was clear she wasn't going to move.
Jan got it into her head that my Mum had dumped her machine on us so that she could buy herself a lovely new one, leaving Jan with a second hand one. In retrospect perhaps it was because she couldn't learn a new set of controls.
We had many a 'discussion' about this but Jan could never get the idea out of her head and she became very bitter about it.
Eventually I bought a brand new Bosch machine because it had the very simplest controls on it, though it was very expensive. Jan never did use it because by that time, the ability had passed her by. However, after I bought the new one, the discussions ceased. Perhaps because even that had passed her by.
I left the Bosch at the house when I moved out.
Hello Sylvia! Eric is very obsessed with temperature-like Dhiren after eating he will say"it's very warm in here-does the heating need to be on" ,or he'll go and change his sweater for a lighter one. If he hears on the weather forecast that it's going to be a mild day he'll say" it's 14 outside-we won't need the heating on today" I get the impression he's not connecting things somehow. He's always fiddling with the thermostat in the hall but fortunately has forgotten how the central heating works,and can't work the fire except to put the glow on. He never used to feel the cold but he does comment on that now. When he's cold he wants instant warmth and vice versa. Don't have any answers-just observations! Love Gigi x
I don't know whther it's relevant but after my mother had her strokes, she went from always being the hottest person in the room to the coldest. It's was one of the difficult things about staying with her - if you're too cold you can put more clothes on, but if you're in a very overheated place there's not a lot you can do to cool down. Sleeping was a nightmare.
Thanks Gigi, there seems to be some similarity there.
In a different context, ..................
This morning the house was warm, the sun was shining, Dhiren went for the papers, wearing just a thin sweater.
He got half way down the drive and came back.
D `I want a thicker jumper.`
S `You need a coat, it`s freezing outside.`
D `Don`t give me instructions.`
S `Sorry. I`m just trying to help.`
D `I don`t need help. You don`t help. You give orders. You want to rule me.`
S `OK. Do what you want.`
So he found a thicker jumper and went out again.
Half way down the drive, he turned back again.
And he put his coat on and went for the papers.
In a different context, ..................
This morning the house was warm, the sun was shining, Dhiren went for the papers, wearing just a thin sweater.
He got half way down the drive and came back.
D `I want a thicker jumper.`
S `You need a coat, it`s freezing outside.`
D `Don`t give me instructions.`
S `Sorry. I`m just trying to help.`
D `I don`t need help. You don`t help. You give orders. You want to rule me.`
S `OK. Do what you want.`
So he found a thicker jumper and went out again.
Half way down the drive, he turned back again.
And he put his coat on and went for the papers.
Hello Sylvia-do you think that in Dhiren's comment(don't give me instructions)-(I haven't learnt how to do those quote things yet!)-is he trying to assert himself and be in charge of himself again? I can't bring any examples to mind with Eric but i know i have to be very careful about how I put things or he can get very upset. I'm learning to turn my phrasing round to make him think it's his idea-instead of "you need"-I'll ask him-"do you think"-I really hope this doesn't sound patronising. Thismorning Eric was "persuaded" to go out for an hour with his "sitter". He was all for going as he was-just a sweater which obviously wasn't enough. I got his fleece out and said"do you think you might need this" and he took it. I don't know-they are all so different! As we are. And we try to protect..You've had much longer at it than me-and I'm glad you're there! Love Gigi x
p.s. He came home,had his lunch,fell asleep,woke up an hour later and said it was too hot in the house-moaned about it until i said "do you want me to open the windows and turn the heating off?" He thought that was a good idea so I did and got busy to keep warm. half an hour later he was feeling cold His body temperatures and mine are definitely not compatible! Love Gigi x
His body temperatures and mine are definitely not compatible! Love Gigi xGigi, you are quite right about the tone of voice and manner of speaking affecting the response. But he isn`t consistent and neither am I.
Sometimes if I offer help it`s accepted gratefully, sometimes it`s declined, `I have to do it myself`, and at other times it`s rudely rejected.
And again, sometimes I`ve the utmost patience, sometimes I`m in a hurry and at other times I`m fed up.
As far as the heat goes, Dhiren never asks me. He just turns it off when he`s too hot [he`s able to do that] but is unable to turn it back on, when he cools down, and that`s when the trouble starts.
I`m glad you`re there too. We seem to have many parallels
Love xx
Sometimes if I offer help it`s accepted gratefully, sometimes it`s declined, `I have to do it myself`, and at other times it`s rudely rejected.
And again, sometimes I`ve the utmost patience, sometimes I`m in a hurry and at other times I`m fed up.
As far as the heat goes, Dhiren never asks me. He just turns it off when he`s too hot [he`s able to do that] but is unable to turn it back on, when he cools down, and that`s when the trouble starts.
I`m glad you`re there too. We seem to have many parallels
Love xx
Sylvia,
That is a great picture of both of you. Dhiren is quite a handsome man. He must have been the cat's meow when he was younger.
A beautiful day with a beautiful picture.
That is a great picture of both of you. Dhiren is quite a handsome man. He must have been the cat's meow when he was younger.
A beautiful day with a beautiful picture.
Hairs on the back of my neck and all that Sandy ..... when I was sifting thru photos recently I was alarmed to come across some, some ten years old with exactly that 'gaze' ...... have I really missed my mother's symptoms for so long?
Karen, x
Still on the subject of temperature control, I bought Dhiren some Thermal Long Johns, hoping he would be more inclined to venture out.
This morning saw a heavy frost, so he put them on willingly. Oh how he raved about them, how warm and cosy they were, how comfortable, what a good idea...........
And off he went to buy the paper.
When he came back he had his breakfast and vacced. I asked him how the Long Johns were. `Wonderful`, he said.
Ten minutes later there was a shout from the bedroom.
D `What am I doing wearing Long Johns? `he shouted.
S `I bought them for you because you were so cold.`
D `How did I get them on?`
S `You put them on.`
D `Don`t talk daft. You must be mad!! I don`t need Long Johns. Put them in the charity bag. You want to make me into an old man.`
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Dear Karen,
Don`t blame yourself. When you see people regularly, you don`t notice change. It`s like not noticing how much your children have grown until someone else points it out, or you have to replace clothes.
And changes in behaviour are much more obvious than changes in appearance.
Love xx
This morning saw a heavy frost, so he put them on willingly. Oh how he raved about them, how warm and cosy they were, how comfortable, what a good idea...........
And off he went to buy the paper.
When he came back he had his breakfast and vacced. I asked him how the Long Johns were. `Wonderful`, he said.
Ten minutes later there was a shout from the bedroom.
D `What am I doing wearing Long Johns? `he shouted.
S `I bought them for you because you were so cold.`
D `How did I get them on?`
S `You put them on.`
D `Don`t talk daft. You must be mad!! I don`t need Long Johns. Put them in the charity bag. You want to make me into an old man.`
************************************************************************************
Dear Karen,
Don`t blame yourself. When you see people regularly, you don`t notice change. It`s like not noticing how much your children have grown until someone else points it out, or you have to replace clothes.
And changes in behaviour are much more obvious than changes in appearance.
Love xx
I left the heating on constant when I went to work thismorning. Controlled by thermostat in hall. Came home to be greeted by a chill in the air and the words "you left the heating on-it's like an oven in here I had to turn it right down. It's so hot" Then we moved on to the new position of the coffee table-moved to make room for the Christmas tree. "It looks nice but will people be able to reach it without spilling things". Then we started again about the heating....That and the coffee table have been the main conversation of the afternoon. Eric is still sleeping with a summer quilt on his bed. I've got a winter weight duvet with an extra blanket sometimes.It's interesting! The other wonderful thing he has done today is to make a very interesting arrangement of-a candle holder, a stainless steel fruit bowl and a precious glass vase-all placed very neatly on the kitchen window sill(and very precariously too)-but he's proud of his work!!!
That and the coffee table have been the main conversation of the afternoon. Eric is still sleeping with a summer quilt on his bed. I've got a winter weight duvet with an extra blanket sometimes.It's interesting! The other wonderful thing he has done today is to make a very interesting arrangement of-a candle holder, a stainless steel fruit bowl and a precious glass vase-all placed very neatly on the kitchen window sill(and very precariously too)-but he's proud of his work!!!So that was this morning.
This afternoon, he has made a beautiful chicken curry for the two of us and Paul, who is coming to watch the football with his father tonight. All I did was chop the onions and garlic. He did all the rest himself. It is delicious.
He was so pleased with himself, so glad nothing went wrong, got so much pleasure from a job well done. It renewed his confidence.
And now, he has just told me he will go back with Paul and sleep at his house. He is not comfirtable here, he can`t sleep here, he can`t share a bed with me.
And tomorrow he will go home.
So I told him he could sleep in the spare room if he wanted, or I could sleep in the spare room if he wanted. But he wasn`t happy about that.
So I said if he really felt uncomfortable about staying here, I wouldn`t stop him going, but would be very sad. And he asked why I would be sad. I told him married people usually live together and it was wrong for them to live apart.
And he said, `Oh. I hadn`t thought of that.`
This afternoon, he has made a beautiful chicken curry for the two of us and Paul, who is coming to watch the football with his father tonight. All I did was chop the onions and garlic. He did all the rest himself. It is delicious.
He was so pleased with himself, so glad nothing went wrong, got so much pleasure from a job well done. It renewed his confidence.
And now, he has just told me he will go back with Paul and sleep at his house. He is not comfirtable here, he can`t sleep here, he can`t share a bed with me.
And tomorrow he will go home.
So I told him he could sleep in the spare room if he wanted, or I could sleep in the spare room if he wanted. But he wasn`t happy about that.
So I said if he really felt uncomfortable about staying here, I wouldn`t stop him going, but would be very sad. And he asked why I would be sad. I told him married people usually live together and it was wrong for them to live apart.
And he said, `Oh. I hadn`t thought of that.`
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