A life in the day of.........................

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Cliff

Registered User
Jun 29, 2007
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North Wales
Thank you Sylvia,

Dee is constantly saying "is it time to go" or "when are they coming" and so on.

When she says something that I can 'agree' with I will try your suggested way of coping instead of trying to convince her otherwise.

Dee has now been on a higher dosage of Reminyl for a week and is brighter but am not sure what to expect.

Good of you to offer advice when you have enough to cope with already.

A news-piece about Carers was on the mid-day news today and the carer-wife finally said "it's because I love him".

How true,

Love to you both
 

Grannie G

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Apr 3, 2006
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Kent
Dear Cliff,

If Dhiren kept asking if it was time to go, I`d be inclined to say `after dinner` or `soon` .
And the same type of reply would probably suit if he asked `when are they coming`.

Yesterday, Dhiren asked if I`d help him withdraw some money from the bank. He said he doesn`t know how to do it now. I said of course I`d go with him and help him, `We`ll do it tomorrow.`

It`s now after 3pm and he hasn`t mentioned it. On top of that we had a really peaceful evening.

You know Dee better than anyone, so you know whether or not she`ll accept these tactics. I hope so, for your sake. It has made life easier these last few days. I just hope it lasts.

Love xx
 

Grannie G

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Apr 3, 2006
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Kent
Serves me right for patting myself on the back.....

Oh dear, it`s started again.

D `Where do you sleep?`
S `In our bedroom.`
D `Don`t other people live there?`[I wonder if he`s hallucinating.]
S `No, just us.`
D `How long will we stay here?`
S `For ever. This is where we live.`
D `I don`t live here. I have another home in Manchester.`
S `Well you can go there.`
D `I can`t stay here. I`ll go mad here. It`s like being in a prison. I`ve nothing to do and nowhere to go. What am I doing here?`
S `What would you do in Manchester?`
D `I`ve got family there and friends there. My brother has a business there and my grandmother has a farm. There are lots of people there for me.`
S `All right. You go to Manchester.`
D `Will you come with me?`
S `Yes. I`ll go with you.`
D `Thank you. When shall we go?`
S `Let me lose some weight first and get a bit healthier.`
D `All right. I can wait as long as you want.`


Later............
D `When I go to Manchester, will you give me your address so I can write to you?`
 

Kate P

Registered User
Jul 6, 2007
565
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Merseyside
Sylvia,

How wonderfully patient you are and what a great example you set for the rest of us - although that makes it no easier for you to have to keep dealing with it all.

Thinking of you.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
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Kent
And now.................
D `If I give you £25 a week and just have a litle breakfast and a small dinner, will that be enough.`
S `I don`t want your money.`
D `I`ve got to pay my way.`
S `Ok. `
D `I`ll give it you now.`
S `I don`t want it now. `
D `Tommorow?`
S `Yes`
D `All right. Remind me tomorrow.`

Later...............
S `Why do you want to give me money for your keep?`
D `I want to save.`
S `What do you need to save for? We have enough money.`
D `I want to start a business. I must do something. I can`t sit around all day like a zombie.`

It`s not patience Kate, It`s the lesser of two evils. I will do anything to avoid conflict, which does neither of us any good, and usually ends up with both of us in tears.
 

connie

Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
9,519
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Frinton-on-Sea
Sylvia love, your post almost reduced me to tears.

Where do you get your immesurable patience? I can just about remember similar times with Lionel, but I am sure our episode did not last nearly as long.

Thinking of you as always,
 

mocha

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
176
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89
Lancs, England
Dear Sylvia,
I would love to see a photo of you and Dhiran.
I feel as though I know you both and a little plastic duck isn't quite the same thing.

I would love it if Ron could talk sense but I don't know if I would have your patience.

All varieties of this illness have serious drawbacks don't they.

Keep posting and is it rude to say that you do make me laugh sometimes.

Love Aileen:)
 

Grannie G

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Apr 3, 2006
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Kent
No Aileen it is not rude to laugh. It is the best medicine. :)
I will post a photo as soon as our dear son gets his finger out and takes one.

This morning on waking,
D `What`s the plan for today?`
S `We are going to watch the World Kite Event at Palm Bay this morning, and this afternoon United are playing.`
D `Good.`

Then..........

D `It`s a nice place, here isn`t it? Quiet and peaceful.`

NB Now I have it on record. He likes it here. Hooray!!!
 
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Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
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Kent
Hi Cate, I certainly won`t mention the `M` word, but as for liking it here, I won`t hold my breath.
 

DeborahBlythe

Registered User
Dec 1, 2006
9,222
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A day for kites?

So glad to hear Dhiren's verdict on B..........

How unethical would it be, next time M crops up, to pretend that B IS M?

Or what about calling B, M-on-Sea?

Just flying a kite or two :)

Oh have a lovely day anyway. xx
 

janjan

Registered User
Jan 27, 2006
229
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63
Birmingham
Just to make you laugh Sylvia, son came back from M, uni for the weekend.
I have gone on the pc to find i now have train times under my favorites.
Think i might get a bit sick of the M, too. lol. ;)
 

BeckyJan

Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
18,971
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Derbyshire
What is wrong with M .....? - we live south of it albeit in beautiful Derbyshire.

Love to all with connections with M... and those who have none at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Feel a bit daft tonight. Love Jan :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
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Kent
M...............`s fine and fantastic. I lived there and iin surrounding areas all my life. But we`ve moved away and here we`ll stay. It`s such a shame we can no longer visit, as that was always my intention, but that`s life.

Somehow Deborah, I don`t think M....on- Sea will go down so well. Good try, but my dear husband would see right through you.

So we went to the World Kite Festival.

It was high on the cliff tops, and fine for the little kites the children were flying, but far too windy for the sophisticated contraptions trying to be flown by the enthusiasts.

One man was really struggling trying to get his kite ready, and Dhiren, who flew kites as a boy, went and offered help. Imagine this quite frail 75year old approaching this muscular 40 something and offering help. It was politely declined and the man finally flew his kite. It was so strong and powerful it sounded like a jet. If Dhiren had gone anywhere near, it would have taken him over the cliffs.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,455
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Kent
Just now.....................:D

D `What`s the plan for tomorrow?`
S `It`s the Memory Clinic.`
D `You`ve made my day. It makes me feel really good to go to these places at the hospital. I know it will help me.`
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
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Kent
Well he did feel the same this morning, and the outing to the Memory Clinic was uneventful. Not even a grumble when he came out at the end.

But this evening I lost it.
At `sundowning ` time he started going on about his money. Why he never saw it, why it wasn`t paid into his account, why I was handling his money when he was perfectly capable.

He wanted all his money to be paid into his account in future, and he would pay me every month for food and bills , and if I spent too much, he would buy his own food, and he could have his own cupboard, and on, and on, and on.

So I told him he could have his pension paid into his account and as he was so clever he could arrange it himself. He could phone Blackpool or Newcastle or wherever it was and make the necessary arrangements. And I havem`t spoken to him since.

I don`t know what happens to me when he starts to talk about his money, but my heart beats faster and I `stiffen`. We have only ever had joint accounts, have shared everything, and however much I know it`s the illness, this talk is like a red rag.

He has his own money in an account we started recently, but it isn`t enough, as he still needs control.

And now I`ve off loaded, I`m sorry for being so horrid, so I`ll go and make up with him. :eek:
 

jenniferpa

Registered User
Jun 27, 2006
39,442
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Well you know the answer don't you? It's because it's so **((() unfair. You wouldn't be nearly so irritated if there was even the slightest grain of truth in the accusation. No Sylvia, you're not a saint and you know what? I've always felt that saints would probably be very tiresome to be around.

Love
 
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