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  1. Expert Q&A: Living well as a carer - Thurs 29 August, 3-4pm

    As a carer for a person living with dementia, the needs of the person you care for will often come before your own. You may experience a range of difficult emotions and you may not have the time to do all the things you need to do. Caring can have a big impact on both your mental and physical health, as well as your overall wellbeing.

    Angelo, our Knowledge Officer (Wellbeing) is our expert on this topic. He will be here to answer your questions on Thursday 29 August between 3-4pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

A life in the day of.........................

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Grannie G, Jun 4, 2007.

  1. Mameeskye

    Mameeskye Registered User

    Aug 9, 2007
    1,669
    NZ
    Hi Sylvia

    I rememebr those memory quirks too. My Mum couldn't remember her husband had died, couldn't remember what she had had for breakfast, couldn't remember I had moved house but I told her one visit that I was seeing Mr M and she turned to me and said "He's the boys' ENT consultant" Spot on!

    You could have knocked me down with a feather!

    Mameeskye
     
  2. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #582 Margarita, Sep 14, 2007
    Last edited: Sep 14, 2007
    what are

    I got my mum a watch , because she always asking what the time it is , friend said to me she won't understand it will she .

    thought I'll give it a go anyway really big number on watch mum was pleased with it then say 10 mim later ''what time is it , watch has stop says the same time all the time ''

    Oh well now I know , she really can't read the time .
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,119
    Kent
    Maggie................U3A....University of the Third Age. Meetings and classes for retired people to stop them going stale. ;)
     
  4. poppet

    poppet Registered User

    Aug 3, 2007
    70
    hi sylvia,

    i have looked at your posts too!!!

    i can only echo what Margret W posted...and to add that i have no doubt that you and many others like you on this site give valuble insight to some experiences shared by many.

    my experiences are deffinately not in your league and my heart goes out to you. i dont know how you do it, but you just do.

    bless you

    look after yourself and know there is as much support out there for you and Dhiren as you give ther rest of us on TP.

    poppet
     
  5. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,119
    Kent
    Thank you Poppet.

    It`s the support I get from TP which makes it so much easier for me. If it weren`t for TP, I`d be more isolated than ever. And that so many are interested in our day to day trials, and give me so much encouragement, is a bonus I would never have expected from a Forum.

    So thank you everyone, for being there.

    Love xx
     
  6. ROSEANN

    ROSEANN Registered User

    Oct 1, 2006
    909
    staffordshire
    Day in the life of

    Hi Sylvia.
    Reading your post about your husband could have been mine at the moment.
    He too sits with his hands over his face pretending to be asleep, has no interest in the T.V and certainly has no peace in his head at the moment.
    He is always crying and saying he feels useless and he is not the man I married.
    I was told the other week that he has moved on with his illness and that the Aricept maybe wearing off and so I have to expect things to get worse.
    Twice I have had to walk out of the room because he keeps on and on about things and at the moment I am not coping very well and trying to get hold of my S.W is just a waste of time no one calls back.
    Sorry to go on just feeling a bit down today.
    All the best and thank you for posting.
    Roseann
     
  7. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,119
    Kent
    Hi Roseann

    I actually can say I know how you feel and you will believe me won`t you.

    It`s interesting to see your husband is taking Aricept. It didn`t agree with my husband, so all he takes are anti-depressants. Your husband was diagnosed in June 2006 and mine in September 2005.

    It just shows how, although their symptoms are similar, and one is treated with medication and one not, they are moving at comparative rates.

    I`m really sorry you`re having a bad day. Please try to post more often and off load a bit. It won`t make the problems go away, but at least you will be among friends who understand.

    I`m also sorry your SW is not so reliable. Would your husband go to day care? If you could persuade him it might give you a break. But I know from my own experience how difficult that is.

    If you have been reading my posts, you will know we are both attending a support group now. Dhiren goes to the Memory Clinic and I attend the Relatives Support Group in the next room. It has been a breakthrough for both of us, and at least gets us out and interacting with others like us.

    If anything like that is available for you, I would try to go. This one is run at the hospital, where Dhiren sees the consultant. It`s an 8 week course. When it finished I hope we will go to a group run by the Alzheimers Society. There might be a local one for you too.

    If you can go anywhere as a couple, it must be beneficial. Please try and let me know what you come up with.

    Take care

    Love xx
     
  8. ROSEANN

    ROSEANN Registered User

    Oct 1, 2006
    909
    staffordshire
    A day in the life of

    Dear Sylvia
    My husband has just started to go to a day care centre and gives me grief every week before he goes,[like your husband he cannot remember two minutes ago but remembers every Sunday he will be going on Monday].
    We go once a month to our local Alzhiemers cafe and I would be lost without them, they are the ones who have arranged the daycare.
    My husband is also on anti-depressants and I am wondering if the dose needs to be changed as he was like this before Alzhiemers was diagnosed.
    I do think you are right about getting out as I always feel better after a change of scenery although my husband is always exhausted when we get back.
    Many thanks for listening
    Roseann
     
  9. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,119
    Kent
    That`s amazing.

    That`s what I hoping to lead up to.

    I should make an appointment with the doctor and or write, and ask for advice.

    Love xx
     
  10. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,119
    Kent
    Clinic Week 3

    Last night.......
    S `It`s the Memory Clinic tomorrow.`
    D `Good. I`m looking forwards to it.`

    This morning after the Clinic.....
    S `Well. How was it?`
    D `I`m not going again. I thought it was to talk about Alzheimers and all we talked about were cats and dogs. Who wants to talk about cats and dogs.`
    S `That`s all right, I`ll go by myself.`

    On the way home............
    D `This woman said her cat died. She said she loved her cat. Another woman said, `Have you got another?` `Not yet,` said the first woman. Nothing about Alzheimers, just about cats and dogs.`
    S `But you are telling me all about it, so your memory is working. And you are stimulated and laughing, so it must have helped you.`
    D `That`s true. It was good fun. But I thought there would be doctors there to talk about Alzheimers. But this woman just talked about cats and dogs.`
    S `She is a Therapist who works with people with Alzheimers. Whatever she talked about, you are remembering it to tell me. That must be good.`
    D `She asked if we get a paper. One woman gets the Sun, someone gets the Daily Mirror.`
    S `Did you say what papers you get?`
    D `No. I don`t talk, I listen to everybody else.`
    S `You should have said you go every day to buy the Guardian and the Express.`
    D `No. It`s not good to talk about yourself too much. People will think you are big headed.`
    S `Try to join in a bit more next time.`
    D `It`s very entertaining listening to people. They don`t want to listen to me.`



    We had a speaker from the AS. He flagged up TP and I was asked to talk about it.
    One person who had tried, did find the Forum difficult to negotiate.
     
  11. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,429
    Baby steps, Sylvia, baby steps.

    On balance it sounds as if it went OK.
     
  12. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,119
    Kent
    It was very OK, Jennifer. I really can see this leading to greater things.

    Love xx
     
  13. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    So pleased Sylvia. Sounds as if, slowly, Dhiren is begining to look outwards rather than in.

    Trust this continues, for both of you. Thanks for the update.:)
     
  14. Carolann

    Carolann Registered User

    Apr 19, 2006
    59
    Nottinghamshire
    Hi Sylvia,
    I have not posted on your thread before, but I check nearly every day to see how things are for you and Dhiren.
    I am so pleased that Dhiren seems to be enjoying - if that is the right word - the memory clinic and that you are going to the Support Group.
    I am not a carer now,as my Mum died last October from this horrible disease, she refused all food and medication, and despite the efforts of everyone involved we lost her!
    I echo other peoples words when they say your postings should be made into a book - what an insight into sufferers and cares lives this would be.
    I think you are a wonderful, patient carer and you always find time to give good advice to others.
    Take Care,
    Carolann
     
  15. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,119
    Kent
    I went to the bank today. The manager asked how I was, and then how my husband was. Apparently he`d gone to the bank last week and asked when the next train was to Manchester.
     
  16. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Sylvia, your fortitude just amazes me. Glad the bank manager understood.

    What's next? you must ask yourself.

    Hope tomorrow is a good day. Love
     
  17. Cliff

    Cliff Registered User

    Jun 29, 2007
    777
    North Wales
    Dear Sylvia,

    Each case is so different, Dee has no inclination to wander or leave the house but her confusion is as great.

    I just admire the way you deal. I get tongue tied and don't know how deal with the strange confusions that Dee is convinced about.

    So please keep reporting..........I'm learning

    Love to you and Dhiren
     
  18. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,119
    Kent
    Dear Cliff,
    I`ve realized, within reason, to go along with everything Dhiren says, and life is getting much easier.

    He`s really worried about money all the time, and forgets our income is from our pensions. When he worked, he always had cash on him. Now his pension is paid into the bank, and because he doesn`t handle it, he thinks he has no money.

    So he wants to start a business, and I said I`d help him. He was so pleased. He said he wants to buy a car, and I said I`d go on the internet and see if I could get a bargain. Then he backed down and said we haven`t enough money for a car, so I said we`d better start saving.

    And now when he wants to go to Manchester, I tell him I`ll go with him, if he lets me get my weight down first. And he`s pleased about it and says he`ll wait.

    I`m aware our conversation is in fairytale land, but as long as there are fewer conflicts, less packing and fewer arguments, it`s worth the effort.

    But tomorrow is another day, and it might all change.
     
  19. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Dearest Sylvia
    I hope the fairytale long continues. Who knows what tomorrow may bring.?
     
  20. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,119
    Kent
    In the middle of the night............

    D `Where`s my memory gone? I`ve no memory at all. What happened?`
     
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