A life in the day of.........................

[Grannie G]

Thank you Alfjess

I have no idea but you may be right.

I have sent another email to Warm Front today with a timetable of all the times I`ve had the heating on, how long it lasted before it started whining and how many times I`ve had to switch it off.

And if they don`t reply, they`ll be getting the same letter every day until they do.

 

[Grannie G]

We have been up most of the night.
He told me he is going.
He is sorry to upset me but he has a wife and two children and he has to go to them. I asked the children`s names. They are Paul and Harry. Paul is our son, Harry is our grandson.
I asked his wife`s name. He said it is Sylvia.
He told me he has a friend. He will tell him to come and look after me.
I have dozed in bed, he has dozed in the chair.
He is packed and ready to go. He has found a very big plastic bag which he has crammed full with goodness knows what.
He asked me to book him a taxi at 8 o`clock. Where to? To Manchester.
I told him I cannot book him a taxi because I do not want him to go.

 

[Grannie G]

And now he has `found` this bag, packed with all his things and accused me of wanting to `kick him out`.
He refuses to believe he gathered them together himself, honestly believes it is fabrication on my part, and is very angry with me.
He will not even accept a drink.

This post is not for sympathy, it is to show how two people are experiencing dementia.

 

[SusanB]

Hello, just some support from me

Hi Sylvia,

I've been reading your posts right from the start and have never ever posted until now. I have read with concern about Dhiren's decline and felt that I had had to post here.

My Mum has vascular dementia and is getting worse in stages - I know we all know all too well the horrors of dementia and how it's taking people away from us so I won't go into the details regarding Mum.

Just to say, I was upset to read your posts this morning - you sound so sad and desperate and I'm surprised (and full of admiration) that 9 times out of 10 your keep your temper, I'm not sure I could do this. Are you OK? You have all by best wishes and support his morning.

Susan

 

[Grannie G]

Thank you Susan

I`m OK, I`m not desperate but I am very sad.
I just wish I knew how to handle this type of situation to help Dhiren come out of it earlier.
He has refused two offers of drinks. I cannot get near him.
He asked me again to tell him how to get to the station. I told him I am unable to help him leave, so he decided to go next door to ask them.
He did listen to me when I told him he couldn`t disturb neighbours so early, so now he is waiting until 10 o`clock and he will ask them then.

I hope life is bearable for you. Thank you for posting.

Love xx

 

[Helen33]

Dear Sylvia

It is very sad isn't it Sylvia. I noticed you posting in the early hours and that's what I do when it's stressing me out. I use TP.

[QUOTEI just wish I knew how to handle this type of situation to help Dhiren come out of it earlier.
][/QUOTE]

You do handle this type of situation very well but perhaps you have to accept that you cannot control it's duration. It's not because you are doing anything wrong that it sometimes goes on and on, it's probably because that's how this illness is and you handle it very well.

My hope for you today is that you manage to keep on handling it, without getting to the absolute end of your tether.

Lots of love

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Helen.

He has gone out to try to find the station.
I was going to go with but he said he would be buying a ticket so I changed my mind. He said he will give someone £10 to take him to the station. He offered me £10.

I have begged him to stay with me but he insists he has a family to go to and he is a slave here.

He said he knows I will be lonely if he goes but he still has to go.

I hope by now Paul has gone to work so if he knocks on there, there will be no-one in and he will come home.

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Sylvia, I'm so sorry that you have had a weekend of worry and that it's persistng this morning. Thinking of you and hoping that D comes back soon. Were you planning to go to your carers group today?
Deborah xx

 

[Grannie G]

Thank you Deborah.

I had an easy peaceful day planned for today.

I`m just waiting for the phone to ring in hope the station still have Dhiren`s photo on the wall.

Love xx

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Oh shucks.Is it possible to ring them before they ring you?

 

[Grannie G]

No, there`s only a call exchange number. Doubt it`s in India, but it would be appropriate.

 

[Helen33]

Hello Sylvia

I've just logged in again before I start work and am so sorry that you have started the day with such stress. Until now Dhiren has always come home and I presume he will be exhausted when he does so he will just need to rest. How do you feel about preparing something to eat for him so that it's ready for when he gets back? My heart is in my mouth so I can well imagine how you must be feeling.

Lots of love

 

[gigi]

Hello Sylvia.....

What a time of it you're having.....

Hopefully Dhiren will realise once he's out that he needs to come home...if that makes any sense.

You know I'm thinking about you both....I honestly do not know how you keep going

And hoping Terry reads your thread when he gets to work thismorning...

Love gigi xx

 

[Grannie G]

Dhiren is still not home.

I phoned Social Services and they advised me to report him to the police, as a vulnerable missing person.
They have taken all details and are circulating them to all patrols in the area, and to CCTV cameras, as well as sending a patrol to the station.

He has been out for over 2 hours.

 

[gigi]

I think that's all you can do, Sylvia.

But how long can you be expected to deal with this on your own?

I hope they find Dhiren soon.

Thinking about you...

Love gigi xx

 

[Grannie G]

Have just had a call from the police. They think they have found him, near the GP`s surgery, a very long walk away.

 

[Sandy]

Dear Sylvia,

I hope that they have found Dhiren and that he is safe and as well as can be expected after a long walk on a cold morning.

Please let us know how the day enfolds.

Take CARE,

Sandy

 

[Grannie G]

He is home

I don`t know what happened but I saw him walking up the drive and no sign of anyone with him or any vehicle. He was as if he had run a marathon, out of breath and very confused.

He said he met someone from Walls [where he worked 45 years ago] who was very kind and took him in and gave him a cup of tea.

He would rather have this problem than have a heart attack.

I phoned the police to ask what happened and they will try to find out.

The police have just called.

Apparently a member of the public was on his way to work and reported him to the police as a man very confused and cold. The police didn`t find him, he walked home.

He is now talking even more rubbish than usual and nothing will be learnt from it.

 

[gigi]

Well it's good to know he is safe, Sylvia.

But he is so vulnerable out there...and there is nothing you can do to stop him when he's like this, is there?

I'm hoping above hope that he settles and gives you a few hours peace.

love gigi xx

 

[Grannie G]

Thank you gigi

He does not appear to be pleased to be home, he has shown no emotion on seeing me, positive or negative.

He has been full of bravado, how in control he is, how no harm will come to him, how there is always someone to help him.

He doesn`t want to eat, has had a cup of warm milk and looks like he`s nodding off.

And the police cannot give me the name over the phone, of the person who phoned in.