What a mystery the brain is!
Thankfully you had a witness to Dhiren's confusion. It may not help immediately but there should be greater understanding.
Take care Love Jan
A life in the day of.........................
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What a mystery the brain is!
Thankfully you had a witness to Dhiren's confusion. It may not help immediately but there should be greater understanding.
Take care Love Jan
Sylvia, you and Dhiren sure struck gold when you were introduced to Terry, he is one really good CPN.
Jan says it all really:
I do hope so.
Jan says it all really:
I do hope so.
Hello Sylvia
I could really relate to your post. I imagine you must have been thrilled to see Dhiren pleased with the card. Also to see Dhiren animated with Terry. These moments are treasures which cannot be controlled or organised. I am beginning to realise that to enable moments like this requires massive amounts of flexibility and the willingness to offer the possibility of new experiences.
Alan's sitter has been getting Alan to paint a picture and I never would have thought Alan would want to do this. However, given the chance to have the experience, Alan is really enjoying it and feels very delighted and proud of himself. To me it is like the pet dogs (both wonderful and sad at the same time - but the wonderful outweighs the sad). A bit like Dhiren's experience where he was enjoying communicating with Terry but it isn't long before it is clear that Dhiren is ill (the sad bit that is always there).
Love and best wishes to you both
I could really relate to your post. I imagine you must have been thrilled to see Dhiren pleased with the card. Also to see Dhiren animated with Terry. These moments are treasures which cannot be controlled or organised. I am beginning to realise that to enable moments like this requires massive amounts of flexibility and the willingness to offer the possibility of new experiences.
Alan's sitter has been getting Alan to paint a picture and I never would have thought Alan would want to do this. However, given the chance to have the experience, Alan is really enjoying it and feels very delighted and proud of himself. To me it is like the pet dogs (both wonderful and sad at the same time - but the wonderful outweighs the sad). A bit like Dhiren's experience where he was enjoying communicating with Terry but it isn't long before it is clear that Dhiren is ill (the sad bit that is always there).
Love and best wishes to you both
Hello Helen
Thank you for that Helen.
We have just had a new boiler fitted. Dhiren was singing it`s praises to Terry and told him how pleased we were with it, especially now it was in the garage.
Terry asked where the old boiler had been.
Answer....In the garage.
Thank you for that Helen.
We have just had a new boiler fitted. Dhiren was singing it`s praises to Terry and told him how pleased we were with it, especially now it was in the garage.
Terry asked where the old boiler had been.
Answer....In the garage.
Yesterday he stayed in his pyjamas all day. I didn`t mention it because he was very quiet and subdued all day. He said he felt weak and exhausted.
He went to bed at 10pm. Was up and down a few times to find his watch, wallet and keys but then settled to sleep.
I was woken in the early hours for discussions about;
His car…..where was it?
His stock…….what had happened to it?
His income…….what did he live on if he didn`t work?
His day………how did he pass it if he didn`t work.
He would not believe he hadn`t worked for 18 years.
He could not believe he no longer had goods to sell.
He could not believe we had no car.
He could not understand a retirement pension.
I must have drifted back to sleep.
I was woken at 9am. by the doorbell. Dhiren`s side of the bed was empty so I waited for him to answer the door.
The bell rang again. I got up to answer the door.
It was Dhiren.
He had been out in the rain and the cold, no coat, just a sweater, shoes but no socks, clutching a plastic bag. The bag was full of underwear. The papers for recycling were all over the kitchen floor.
He said he had been wandering round but he did not know why, or what he had been looking for, so he came home.
I began to cry. I was shocked I`d slept through it and upset to think of him wandering the streets.
He apologized, said it was not my fault it was his, but he thought I didn`t want him here.
He went to bed at 10pm. Was up and down a few times to find his watch, wallet and keys but then settled to sleep.
I was woken in the early hours for discussions about;
His car…..where was it?
His stock…….what had happened to it?
His income…….what did he live on if he didn`t work?
His day………how did he pass it if he didn`t work.
He would not believe he hadn`t worked for 18 years.
He could not believe he no longer had goods to sell.
He could not believe we had no car.
He could not understand a retirement pension.
I must have drifted back to sleep.
I was woken at 9am. by the doorbell. Dhiren`s side of the bed was empty so I waited for him to answer the door.
The bell rang again. I got up to answer the door.
It was Dhiren.
He had been out in the rain and the cold, no coat, just a sweater, shoes but no socks, clutching a plastic bag. The bag was full of underwear. The papers for recycling were all over the kitchen floor.
He said he had been wandering round but he did not know why, or what he had been looking for, so he came home.
I began to cry. I was shocked I`d slept through it and upset to think of him wandering the streets.
He apologized, said it was not my fault it was his, but he thought I didn`t want him here.
Oh Sylvia...
How distressing this is...
I'm upset reading that...and can only imagine how you must have felt.
I'm sending you hugs....it's all I can do .....
And lots of love....gigi xx
How distressing this is...
I'm upset reading that...and can only imagine how you must have felt.
I'm sending you hugs....it's all I can do .....
And lots of love....gigi xx
Oh dear Sylvia
I can well imagine you bursting into tears - it must have been a pitiful sight seeing Dhiren in such a vulnerable state and him having been out there without you knowing I can imagine how you must have felt. Perhaps it's time to think about door alarms which will alert you to when Dhiren is about to leave the house at night.
Love
I can well imagine you bursting into tears - it must have been a pitiful sight seeing Dhiren in such a vulnerable state and him having been out there without you knowing
I can imagine how you must have felt. Perhaps it's time to think about door alarms which will alert you to when Dhiren is about to leave the house at night.Love
Sylvia: Just sending love to you after another distressing incident. Poor you and poor Dhiren - how sad all this is!!
On a positive note lets hope that today is good and tomorrow even better.
Love Jan
On a positive note lets hope that today is good and tomorrow even better.
Love Jan
Thank you Helen and Jan
If this begins to happen frequently I will investigate door alarms. But there is no way I would be able to stop him leaving the house if it was his intention. It would only alert me to the fact.
Dhiren is now full of remorse and `disgusted` with his behaviour. He believes he has `behaved like an animal` and is sure I would be better off without him but knows he has nowhere to go. He said he knows I`m doing everything possible for him and he is `biting the hand that feeds` him.
I seem unable to convince him he has done nothing wrong, that his confusion causes him to act this way and all I want to do is help him feel safe and secure in his own home and look after him.
He wants to see a doctor.
I told him what has happened in the past; he has bad days and wants to see a doctor, but by the time it can be arranged he feels better and refuses help.
He said it won`t happen this time, he knows he needs help.
But I`m not banking on it.
If this begins to happen frequently I will investigate door alarms. But there is no way I would be able to stop him leaving the house if it was his intention. It would only alert me to the fact.
Dhiren is now full of remorse and `disgusted` with his behaviour. He believes he has `behaved like an animal` and is sure I would be better off without him but knows he has nowhere to go. He said he knows I`m doing everything possible for him and he is `biting the hand that feeds` him.
I seem unable to convince him he has done nothing wrong, that his confusion causes him to act this way and all I want to do is help him feel safe and secure in his own home and look after him.
He wants to see a doctor.
I told him what has happened in the past; he has bad days and wants to see a doctor, but by the time it can be arranged he feels better and refuses help.
He said it won`t happen this time, he knows he needs help.
But I`m not banking on it.
Poor Sylvia, you and Dhiren have been having such a hard time.
If only you could convince him.
Hugs from both of us.
Love,
If only you could convince him.
Hugs from both of us.
Love,
It’s all gone to pot the stress of working 8 hours on my feet , then when getting home not able to switch of as my daughter tell me how the carer are leaving before the other carer arrives , mum screaming her head off , then I sort that all out get one carer from 8pm – 10: 30 am .
I go to see my son on my day off Thursday who tell me if I can go to the agency that rented his property in 03 which I did the next day as I was so fed up with working anyway . also he tell me that he needs old bank statement from me . That was it pushes me over the edge. I never went to work on Friday, but phone son solicitor asking about bank statements he wants from me, while he kindly tell me that his not 100 percent sure that police won’t investigate me if I give them a statement saying that mum gave my son some money, so I rang work on Saturday saying that I have taken on to many hours while caring for mum, they tell me even thought I have only been there 3 weeks I have to give them 4 weeks notices. So now am in 2 minds about doing the right thing going in doing my notice, or just not turn up tomorrow.
I go to see my son on my day off Thursday who tell me if I can go to the agency that rented his property in 03 which I did the next day as I was so fed up with working anyway . also he tell me that he needs old bank statement from me . That was it pushes me over the edge. I never went to work on Friday, but phone son solicitor asking about bank statements he wants from me, while he kindly tell me that his not 100 percent sure that police won’t investigate me if I give them a statement saying that mum gave my son some money, so I rang work on Saturday saying that I have taken on to many hours while caring for mum, they tell me even thought I have only been there 3 weeks I have to give them 4 weeks notices. So now am in 2 minds about doing the right thing going in doing my notice, or just not turn up tomorrow.
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Just been looking for it contract found it .
What do I read
" From time to time we may ask you to change your hours days you work to meet business needs. where this is the case any alternation scheduled would be discussed with you at the time and chages would not be made if it creates significant personal difficulty for you . they would not do it with out my consent .
Well I went Into work last Monday to find my scheduled had change to Monday – Friday 7 am 3pm Saturday off
Sounds lovely working Monday Friday, weekend off, but oh no not for me I am caring for mum I had organized my Thursday off to see my son.
6am – 2pm was great for me as mum does not get back till 3 or 3 30 pm on 2 days. 4/5 pm on 3 other days, so it give me some time to myself when I get back from work. Now I was looking at a schedule that said I had to finish work at 3pm. section manger sound Oh so sympathetic, because she has a mother that ill . but still she said I had to do the 7- 3pm this week and they in the contract it says they do not change it without giving me notice , also if it creates significant personal difficulty for you . well it does sure do that .
I always sigh things without reading it , thanks for that prompt hazel . It also says that I have to give them written notice of 4 weeks if I have work for them for more the 4 weeks . Does not say anything about if One has only work under 4 weeks.
This section manger has been made
redundant in Decembers now I understand why
What do I read
" From time to time we may ask you to change your hours days you work to meet business needs. where this is the case any alternation scheduled would be discussed with you at the time and chages would not be made if it creates significant personal difficulty for you . they would not do it with out my consent .
Well I went Into work last Monday to find my scheduled had change to Monday – Friday 7 am 3pm Saturday off
Sounds lovely working Monday Friday, weekend off, but oh no not for me I am caring for mum I had organized my Thursday off to see my son.
6am – 2pm was great for me as mum does not get back till 3 or 3 30 pm on 2 days. 4/5 pm on 3 other days, so it give me some time to myself when I get back from work. Now I was looking at a schedule that said I had to finish work at 3pm. section manger sound Oh so sympathetic, because she has a mother that ill . but still she said I had to do the 7- 3pm this week and they in the contract it says they do not change it without giving me notice , also if it creates significant personal difficulty for you . well it does sure do that .
I always sigh things without reading it , thanks for that prompt hazel . It also says that I have to give them written notice of 4 weeks if I have work for them for more the 4 weeks . Does not say anything about if One has only work under 4 weeks.
This section manger has been made
redundant in Decembers now I understand why
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Margarita you may also be able to visit your doctor who could help you by signing you off sick,as this situation could cause you stress.......just an idea.
love Cynthia x x
love Cynthia x x
Sylvia, this morning sounds terrifying, I'm not surprised you cried.
How is Dhiren now?
Love,
How is Dhiren now?
Love,
Hello Sylvia: I was wondering how you are too??
Margarita: you have a problem - I do hope it is sorted soon.
Love Jan
Margarita: you have a problem - I do hope it is sorted soon.
Love Jan
Hello Hazel
He has been quiet today, worried or brooding I`m not sure. We haven`t discussed this morning in case he has forgotten it but he knows something is wrong.
I have just sat with him trying to keep him as calm as possible. I have knitted 4 squares today.
He watched a programme about the American election and thought we were in America.
We watched the French tennis finals but he had no idea of the game.
He is losing interest in reading the papers.
He couldn`t find his electric shaver.
He asked again, where he was going to sleep tonight.
But he stays quiet, is not challenging and thinks it`s his responsibility to stop causing problems.
He has been quiet today, worried or brooding I`m not sure. We haven`t discussed this morning in case he has forgotten it but he knows something is wrong.
I have just sat with him trying to keep him as calm as possible. I have knitted 4 squares today.
He watched a programme about the American election and thought we were in America.
We watched the French tennis finals but he had no idea of the game.
He is losing interest in reading the papers.
He couldn`t find his electric shaver.
He asked again, where he was going to sleep tonight.
But he stays quiet, is not challenging and thinks it`s his responsibility to stop causing problems.
And how do you feel?
We worried about you when Dhiren was challenging. Now he's quiet, it should be easier, but in a way it's even more worrying, because he is aware of his problems, and must be so sad.
Can you accept the quiet times and relax, or do you sit and worry about him?
OK, I know the answer, just trying to put myself in your shoes.
So sorry that your problems seem to go on and on.
Love,
We worried about you when Dhiren was challenging. Now he's quiet, it should be easier, but in a way it's even more worrying, because he is aware of his problems, and must be so sad.
Can you accept the quiet times and relax, or do you sit and worry about him?
OK, I know the answer, just trying to put myself in your shoes.
So sorry that your problems seem to go on and on.
Love,
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