1. ronyork

    ronyork Registered User

    Apr 28, 2015
    My wife now thinks our home is now a hotel.I notice that each mealtime she is at the table with her knife and fork in her hands waiting to be served, and also comments at times its a bout time the bed linen was changed, I change it very often, I often whats next. Not the retirement I PLANNED.
  2. Kjn

    Kjn Registered User

    Jul 27, 2013
    :D my dads same , he gets up for breakfast and if it's not ready ...says oh I'm too early today , il come back when it's served and toddles back to bed. Same at teatime.
  3. Grey Lad

    Grey Lad Registered User

    Sep 12, 2014
    North East Lincs
    We are often in Care Home here or someone else's house. Whenever Maureen wakes up from a nap it is morning and time for breakfast. She often asks where the others are and we live alone.
  4. ronyork

    ronyork Registered User

    Apr 28, 2015
    Hi Grey Lad

    My wife asks the same questions. Bye the way what age is your wife mine is 79, Its all so frustrating.
  5. Raggedrobin

    Raggedrobin Registered User

    Jan 20, 2014
    My father, at home, would sometimes lean over at a meal and say 'the food here is very good, you know':D
    When he finally went into a care home he believed he was staying in a monastery, an idea that would have been a positive thing in his mind.
  6. Long-Suffering

    Long-Suffering Registered User

    Jul 6, 2015
    Dad sometimes thinks he is in hospital and complains to me about the food! He also once thought he was in a hotel, but that only lasted a day. The hospital thing is understandable because he does sometimes get admitted to a general ward and I think after coming out he has flashbacks to being there, but the last time he stayed in a hotel was almost 25 years ago when I got married!

  7. Witzend

    Witzend Registered User

    Aug 29, 2007
    SW London
    A woman at my mother's CH must have rented out rooms at some point, since she thought all the other residents were her lodgers. She was quite jolly, but would sometimes yell after someone that they hadn't paid their rent yet - 'Nine quid you still owe me for last week!'
  8. looviloo

    looviloo Registered User

    May 3, 2015
    Dad thought his last care home was a bed & breakfast and referred to the manageress as the 'land-lady'. He was only there for a couple of weeks and although his mental health has improved a lot since then, he still slips up and refers to the carers in his new care home as 'servants'. I hope they've never heard him say it, although I'm sure they're used to things like that!

    ronyork, you're doing a great job, and I hope you can smile about your wife's hotel delusion. It sounds like it's not uncommon.
  9. Daddygee

    Daddygee Registered User

    Jan 12, 2015
    West Sussex
    My wife thinks she is living in a hotel or some kind of institution and "They"take her clothes out of her wardrobe and change them around she gets quite upset sometimes,we have put a notice on the wardrobe door warning people not to touch it seems to help her
  10. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    A friend's aunt, now no longer with us, thought she owned the CH and employed all the staff. Another friend's father used to be a publican. Now he is in a CH he goes round telling people to leave at 'chucking out time'.
  11. Mango

    Mango Registered User

    Mar 16, 2014
    New Zealand
    Seems to be quite common...

    A friend's father thought the same. He worried about the rates (property taxes) and what the staff were doing in the kitchen. Told his daughter that "the wife" (deceased) was always in the kitchen trying to sort things out.

    An elderly gentleman that I returned to a care home recently told me that he owned the big house and that a lot of people lived there, "mostly friends of the family, I think."

    I hope that if my Mum ever gets to this stage that I can continue to go with the flow...
  12. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    My mother when she lived with us (she died a few years back) used to tell me she "didn't know I was on duty tonight" asked if I had any children and if my parents were still alive. Now I'm dealing with my wife having AZ, I still think she knows who I am but it seems to be the person who does everything for her, as said just "go with the flow" to them the situation is reality, you've no hope of changing it so why fight it?
    As for you saying "Not the retirement I PLANNED" none of us planned that it would turn out this way and I'm not yet 60 and my wife isn't pensionable age either, I might ask if the use of capitals suggests a sense of disappointment which I can fully understand but sometimes in life it happens.
    These days my wife doesn't lift a finger to help in fact most of the time she's a hindrance but that's not her it's the AZ, in the past she did a million times more than me, so I have nothing to complain about.
    I'm sure she'd do a better job of looking after me if I had AZ than I can ever hope to do looking after her, it's a whole lot harder for me to live up to her standards than her living down to mine.
  13. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    My father was put into a care home as his normal carer was going away to visit her sister. At bed time he apparently said ( waving his stick) right, you b......s, get out of my house!
    Cue gp, injection and whisked away to a safe place.

    Nothing to do with me, I lived over 6 hours drive away, all left to cousin ( with EPA) and the carer who was a friend of the family.
  14. Witzend

    Witzend Registered User

    Aug 29, 2007
    SW London
    My FIL started telling us all about his 'housekeeper' (he was living with us) and how she was no better than she should be, he had actually found her in bed with a man, the trollop.
    He could still be quite lucid then, so we let him go on (it was quite interesting TBH!) and eventually worked out where it had come from. He had recently been to stay with BiL and SIL for a few days, and we deduced that SIL would be the housekeeper, since she did all the cooking and cleaning, etc. , and since he was in the habit of wandering around at night, going into other bedrooms and peering at the sleepers to see who they were, he would have found housekeeper SIL in bed with her object of lust, BiL.

    Either that, or by the same criteria I was the trollop - by then he had come to think that our house was his own. I would sometimes find him going through drawers and chucking out things he could not see any use for. 'What's this darn thing doing in here?' Had to check bins on a regular basis - only had to leave him for half an hour and he would have cleared out all sorts of 'rubbish'.
  15. ronyork

    ronyork Registered User

    Apr 28, 2015
    A few days away

    Long haul holidays are a NO/NO, So a few days away next week with neighbours will hopefully be a rest for us all. Back the packing a nightmare things in and out of cases when not looking Audreyb will remove and replace ( nine bra,s) tea towels and various other items after my neighbours have sorted her case out (twice) we have not got to the tablets yet. Think we now have the cases done again and they are in the car. is it worth going.

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