A few home truths

Discussion in 'I have dementia' started by Norrms, Apr 6, 2015.

  1. Norrms

    Norrms Registered User

    Feb 19, 2009
    5,281
    Male
    Torquay Devon
    SO VERY IMPORTANT...
    PLEASE SHARE ............

    A TIME FOR A CHANGE?


    The Time has come, the Walrus said,
    To speak of many things,
    Including my dementia
    And the horrors that it brings,
    (Plagiarism? I hardly think so, but no doubt some will say it is LOLL)

    So, there I was, stood in a town I have been to so many times before, looking around at the wonders of Country living. No stress, no computers, no mobiles, TV or e mails for two days, and yet? I had absolutely no idea where I was. To make matters worse, I had no idea where the car was parked.
    Now I don’t drive, never have, but the standing joke for the last 20 years + still is, and has been, Elaine` s (My Angels) sense of direction!! It’s always been myself who remembers where the car is or the way back to it, and yet, for the very first time, not this time. I looked around in Horror to try and recognise anything I could, but nothing came to mind, nothing looked familiar, and I knew anytime in the next ten minutes Elaine was going to ask me where the car was?

    The feeling of frustration was far surpassed by a feeling of utter hopelessness and fears about how my life has changed over the last few months, and not for the better. It was like a clock ticking inside my head, so loud and so present, the fear of the unknown ran through my body like electric jolts as my eyes darted from side to side, hungry for knowledge of something familiar, but it just didn’t happen, nothing came to the fore, and I think it must have been the sheer weight of exhaling breath that alerted Elaine.

    She turned and looked at me with those beautiful eyes, alive and yet turning sadder by the second as I knew the realisation of what I must have been thinking dawned in her. She had seen this look on my face before, never as frightened, no! Never as TERRIFIED as this, but something very similar when I couldn’t remember the village we lived in some years ago. With her quiet, comforting voice, she asked very quietly “What’s the matter? As I tried to explain, the lump in throat got bigger, and I struggled to say my words. Because I my dementia I take a HUGE amount of Anti-depressants and this results in my inability to shed tears unless its something that’s so drastic to me or my family, the incredible depth of my sadness wins the battle and tears flow, this was one such occasion. I ushered my angel into a nearby alleyway, not caring what others thought and just blurted out
    “I can’t remember where the car is “

    HEY! Probably no big deal to billions across the globe!! But to me? This was THE BEGINING OF THE END!! Never before have stood there and not known where I was, or where I had just come from. This didn’t happen after a sleepless night, this didn’t happen after a stressful conference, this happened at a time when I was mat my most relaxed, and then, that’s when I realised, as much as I think I have this beaten, as much as I convince myself, after seven/eight years I can carry on as normal?

    I CAN’T!!!!
    Dear all, I WANT TOO!!! I WANT TO SO MUCH IT HURTS!! I want things to go back to Normal!! I want them to find a cure that will rid all of this awful disease, but as much as I hate to admit it, it’s (Looks like) it’s beginning to catch up with me, and at quite a pace too!! And so my dear, wonderful, comforting supportive friends, it’s time for a bit of a re think, WHILST I STILL CAN……………………..

    I hope you don’t mind if I am not on here as often as usual, and I hope you will understand why until I, and my beautiful, wonderful Loving Angel (Elaine ) have had a bit of time to talk this over and think what to do next. I will promise you all, if at ALL POSSIBLE, and i hope it will be, I am HOPING I will be around until the WORLD ROCKS AGAINST DEMENTIA next march 19th 2016, maybe not as much, but that is my GOAL!!! I have decided to set goals now as I think it’s the right thing to do. If I manage it till next year? We will hold possibly the biggest dementia awareness event the world has ever seen as well as ROCKING the world with any type of music you guys see fit.

    And If I am not fit enough to remember it next year? I am sure there are plenty of you guys out there that will remind me, LOL (Only one L , private joke LOLL)

    Much love my most incredible friends, no matter where you are in the world, looking forward to a bit of a rest, hope you understand, and I KNOW there are plenty of people out the who are MORE THAN WILLING AND ABLE to carry the Eternal Torch of the Purple Angel campaign xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     

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  2. shelagh

    shelagh Registered User

    Sep 28, 2009
    476
    Staffordshire
    A hug for Norms.

    Dear Norms, whenever I hit a bad patch or something happens that I haven't experienced before there is always that feeling of ' is this the beginning of the end' for me too. And it is terrifying. Remember -one day at a time.
    With love dear friend.
     
  3. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    'When I Wander' Wow norms, that is amazing. Just been said before me-one day at a time.
     
  4. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    1,056
    GLASGOW
    Wish i could wander beside you today and try to help somehow. Thinking of yiu and walking with you in my mind. Thank you for this rare insight.
     
  5. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Thanks for sharing this Norrms. Thoughts are with you and Elaine as you continue to fight this disease with such determination.
    My very best wishes.
     
  6. Ladybird23

    Ladybird23 Registered User

    Feb 28, 2014
    130
    This is so true as you say Norms.

    Should be read by all who sign up to TP.

    Best wished to you and Elaine.
     
  7. Norrms

    Norrms Registered User

    Feb 19, 2009
    5,281
    Male
    Torquay Devon
    Thank you dear friends, means so much xxxxxxxxx
     
  8. Kjn

    Kjn Registered User

    Jul 27, 2013
    5,835
    ((Big hug)) x
     
  9. Yasmine

    Yasmine Registered User

    Apr 9, 2015
    12
    Thanks for sharing this, very inspiring!
     
  10. vonvonvon

    vonvonvon Registered User

    Mar 1, 2015
    21
    I will be there :eek:)
     
  11. Norrms

    Norrms Registered User

    Feb 19, 2009
    5,281
    Male
    Torquay Devon
    Thank you dear friends xxx
     

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