1. Amber 3

    Amber 3 Registered User

    Feb 4, 2015
    38
    South Devon
    Finished up in A&E on Saturday night. Husband was convinced he had the Lottery numbers although the draw had not taken place at that time. Wanted me to phone Camelot. No reasoning with him, he flew into a rage when I refused and punched me in the face. Called a friend who got through to the out of hours doctor who advised me to go to hospital. No lasting damage but have a lump on my forehead and a black eye. The shock that someone I have been married to for over 40 years could do such a thing was worse in a way than the injuries. My husband was the calmest and most gentle person on the planet before this awful disease took it's hold on him.
    Doctor must have contacted the police as they called yesterday to take a statement but when they realized John had dementia they were very sympathetic, and I told them I didn't wish to take things further. Think Social services have been contacted so waiting to hear from them.
     
  2. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    Gordon Bennet. That's rough, mate. Don't just pass this off. Someone in authority should be informed for your safety. Glad the police were gentle with you.

    How are you now?
     
  3. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    5,725
    North Somerset
    So sorry, Amber. As you say, it's heartbreaking this change in personality. Hope you get some professional help soon.

    Sent from my GT-N5110
     
  4. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,992
    Suffolk
    So sorry for you Amber. My OH like yours used to the gentlest man around, but he punched me on the arm a few weeks ago. It's the shock at what this horrible disease can do that upset me. He also had delusions nearly 2 years ago and violence was threatened then, but luckily did not happen then.
     
  5. Amber 3

    Amber 3 Registered User

    Feb 4, 2015
    38
    South Devon
    My face is a bit of a mess, looks like I have been in a traffic accident ! It's the shock as much as anything, that someone you have known for so long could do something like this. I know it's the disease but it doesn't make it any easier..
     
  6. Amber 3

    Amber 3 Registered User

    Feb 4, 2015
    38
    South Devon
    Thanks Spamar, my husband has delusions as well and often thinks there are other people in the house trying to steal from him etc. So tough to deal with all this and sometimes it's hard to remember how your other half used to be ...
     
  7. Dazmum

    Dazmum Registered User

    #7 Dazmum, Mar 10, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2015
    I am sorry, Amber, what a shock for you. I hope that SS can help you in some way, as you need to keep yourself safe xx
     
  8. Amber 3

    Amber 3 Registered User

    Feb 4, 2015
    38
    South Devon
    Thanks Truth24, Still waiting to hear from Social Services, hopefully some respite can be arranged..
     
  9. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,239
    Cotswolds
    So sorry to hear this, Amber, what a shock for you.

    Hoping SS can help, and am sending you (((hugs)))

    Lindy xx
     
  10. nellbelles

    nellbelles Volunteer Host

    Nov 6, 2008
    8,467
    leicester
    Amber, so sorry to hear this has happened, I hope you can get some respite soon, keep chasing the SS.

    I have seen some good advice given that if you think it might happen again or even escalate (god forbid) to make sure you have a safe room to go to with either a lock or a bolt.

    Take Care.
     
  11. disi

    disi Registered User

    So very sorry Amber to hear what has happened to you. What a shock it must have been to come from what was such a placid person. But we all know he would never had done such a thing if he wasn't ill. Hope your face soon is better and the SS gets something sorted out quickly.

    Good luck disi
     
  12. TDA

    TDA Registered User

    Mar 3, 2015
    25
    so sad to hear this, hope you feel better soon.- I am getting increasingly wary of my mum, who was the kindest gentlest mum ever, but she has been getting increasingly frustrated, and I know she has a few set-to's with my dad last year when she was upset.
    such a cruel disease x
     
  13. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    3,072
    Devon
    Hi Amber3, just wanted to add my sympathies to the other posts on here. This hasn't happened to me (yet) but who knows, I'm sure you would never have thought your husband would do this.
    As has been previously said your safety must be paramount and you need help. In the meantime a 'safe' room in your house, with a lock where you can go if you're frightened is a good idea. Sometimes this can be a bathroom. Also keep your mobile on you and have the number of the local domestic violence team programmed in. This may seems extreme but your husband has behaved very out of character.
    I wish you the very best possible in this difficult situation.
    Es
    xxx
     
  14. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,776
    Salford
    So sorry Amber, it's the worse nightmare, violence of any kind. You do need to look for outside advise, when someone has crossed the line and hit you once you need to make sure it never happens again.
    I understand when you say "I know it's the disease" and that's what it is, but when it comes to physical violence then truly "the ghost has left the machine" you may have your husband's body but his spirit has gone, please do something so this never happens again whatever it takes.
    K
     
  15. Amber 3

    Amber 3 Registered User

    Feb 4, 2015
    38
    South Devon
    Thank you so much for all your kind support and helpful replies, I do appreciate it. No word from Social Services yet but was told it could take a few days.
     
  16. sistermillicent

    sistermillicent Registered User

    Jan 30, 2009
    2,949
    Amber, this should not take a few days, please ring them now and ask for the duty social worker, you need them to help you now. You are at risk, probably very shaken and I would imagine rather scared. You also have an injury which will be putting your body through the mill a bit, please don't be fobbed off like this.
    I saw my dad suffer the same from my mum.
     
  17. Amber 3

    Amber 3 Registered User

    Feb 4, 2015
    38
    South Devon
    The ball is rolling

    I had a phone call from my husbands doctor this morning. The police had reported
    Saturdays incident and the doctor has arranged for an urgent assessment by a dementia specialist and is also talking about prescribing something to calm hubby down a bit as in her words, "it's an extreme case, so we will have a rethink !"
    At least things are starting to happen so hopefully there will be some help forthcoming in the future. Thanks again for all the helpful replies, where would we all be without TP ??
     
  18. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,239
    Cotswolds
    Excellent news, Amber :) Hope help arrives soon.....but should there be any further incident of violence, please don't hesitate to phone the police and or the GP again.

    All the best :)

    Lindy xx
     
  19. Amber 3

    Amber 3 Registered User

    Feb 4, 2015
    38
    South Devon
    Thanks Lindy, will definitely take your advice !!
     
  20. Dazmum

    Dazmum Registered User

    That is good news, I'm glad the police were sympathetic and helpful. Take care xx
     

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