I am so very sorry Marnie, so glad your Mum was peaceful at the end and that you were with her as you have been all the way through, loyal, caring, selfless and loving.
I hope you can take some solace in the fact that she is at peace now and will have taken great comfort from your presence as she left.
I am hoping also that you can sleep well tonight, for as long as you need to.
Sending love, lots of it, wishing you strength to get you through and many ((((hugs)))) to hold you up.
Marnie, so very sorry for your loss, may sound trite but it is heartfelt, that your Mum is now at peace and I hope reunited with your Dad. Take care of yourself in the coming weeks, sending gentle hugs for you x
Marnie I'm so very sorry but at last your lovely Mum is now at peace and reunited with your Dad free from dementia.
You can feel so proud of the way you have looked after your Mum so lovingly every step of the way.
Try to get a little rest now. Wishing you strength for the days ahead and sending warm supportive ((((hugs))))
I'm sure your Mum would have loved the bunting so lovingly prepared by your Dad.xx
Thank you, thank you, all of you and @Jessbow - thanks for that song, I've been out of touch with the real world for so long so first time I've heard that, beautiful and totally apt.
I stayed with mum for as long as I could. There was a wonderful male nurse and young lady care assistant who came and removed all the bits and pieces that mum was attached to and washed her (I joked that mum would never have imagined she'd be being washed by such a nice young man after she'd died!). They put a pad on her and covered her face in an inco sheet (yes, I know, but …!) to "absorb any secretions". Then they put a kind of papery gown on her, just over her arms and front, and tied off at the wrists, then finally wrapped her fully in a shroud (read hospital sheet!) and taped this up. A form/checklist was completed and left on her, with her file on the bed next to her. It seemed a long time until the porters came, but maybe this was intentional, so no one was rushing anything. It's amazing how quickly she started to cool after she passed. By this time there was only warmth left where she was making contact with the mattress. It was all done very professionally and sympathetically, bless the hearts of those two young people. The porters transferred her to the gurney type trolley and covered her so that it looked like an empty hospital bed and then I went with them to the mortuary - along a dimly lit corridor and in a very quiet part of the hospital. The handles on the doors to the mortuary had a huge chain and padlock wrapped around them and a hefty looking security guard came and unlocked all of this. It was a bit amusing that bit! They told me I could go no further so I went to touch mum one more time, the porters lifted the cover and I kissed her head through the shroud, then she was gone, with hefty security chappie padlocking the doors again!
I was fine until I parked back on the driveway and thought about going into an empty house. It is weird and I've had a few sobs, mum has always been here with me, such a part of this house, and now no mum! A friend has just called for another chat and a bit of support and one of my best friends from overseas has offered to come over earlier than the funeral to help me out, if need be, so that will be good.
So far, so good, but I don't think it's quite hit me yet. Hopefully I can take it when it does. Will launch into calls and arrangements tomorrow. It will be so very strange now to have all the time in the world, after being so constrained by mum's illness for so very long.