A dreadful couple of days

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Rolypoly

Registered User
Jan 15, 2018
2,319
I’m so sorry Marnie. I’m glad it was peaceful at the end. Wishing you love and strength.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
60,507
Dundee
Sending my condolences.

I'm so glad that your mum's passing was peaceful. It's all we can ask for really.

Wishing you strength for the days and weeks to come.
 

Prudence9

Registered User
Oct 8, 2016
478
I am so very sorry Marnie, so glad your Mum was peaceful at the end and that you were with her as you have been all the way through, loyal, caring, selfless and loving.
I hope you can take some solace in the fact that she is at peace now and will have taken great comfort from your presence as she left.

I am hoping also that you can sleep well tonight, for as long as you need to.

Sending love, lots of it, wishing you strength to get you through and many ((((hugs)))) to hold you up.

Be proud Marnie xxxxxxxxx
 

notsogooddtr

Registered User
Jul 2, 2011
907
Your dear Mum is at peace now.I hope in time you can remember the good times more than the dementia years.Wishing you strength and peace in the weeks and months ahead
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
858
May your mum rest in peace, you did her proud. Don't forget to look after yourself.
 

love.dad.but..

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
4,473
Kent
Am thinking of you Marnie..a peaceful and comfortable end of life is what we would wish for our loved ones. Please take care of yourself in the days ahead.
 

Lavender45

Registered User
Jun 7, 2015
1,598
Liverpool
I'm so sorry Marnie. May your mum be at rest with your dad and may you find peace in knowing that no one could have done more than you have in your care for your dear mum. X
 

Jale

Registered User
Jul 9, 2018
396
Marnie, so very sorry for your loss, may sound trite but it is heartfelt, that your Mum is now at peace and I hope reunited with your Dad. Take care of yourself in the coming weeks, sending gentle hugs for you x
 

rosy18

Registered User
Jul 23, 2016
1,279
Blackpool
Marnie I'm so very sorry but at last your lovely Mum is now at peace and reunited with your Dad free from dementia.
You can feel so proud of the way you have looked after your Mum so lovingly every step of the way.
Try to get a little rest now. Wishing you strength for the days ahead and sending warm supportive ((((hugs))))
I'm sure your Mum would have loved the bunting so lovingly prepared by your Dad.xx
 

Marnie63

Registered User
Dec 26, 2015
1,628
Hampshire
Thank you, thank you, all of you and @Jessbow - thanks for that song, I've been out of touch with the real world for so long so first time I've heard that, beautiful and totally apt.

I stayed with mum for as long as I could. There was a wonderful male nurse and young lady care assistant who came and removed all the bits and pieces that mum was attached to and washed her (I joked that mum would never have imagined she'd be being washed by such a nice young man after she'd died!). They put a pad on her and covered her face in an inco sheet (yes, I know, but …!) to "absorb any secretions". Then they put a kind of papery gown on her, just over her arms and front, and tied off at the wrists, then finally wrapped her fully in a shroud (read hospital sheet!) and taped this up. A form/checklist was completed and left on her, with her file on the bed next to her. It seemed a long time until the porters came, but maybe this was intentional, so no one was rushing anything. It's amazing how quickly she started to cool after she passed. By this time there was only warmth left where she was making contact with the mattress. It was all done very professionally and sympathetically, bless the hearts of those two young people. The porters transferred her to the gurney type trolley and covered her so that it looked like an empty hospital bed and then I went with them to the mortuary - along a dimly lit corridor and in a very quiet part of the hospital. The handles on the doors to the mortuary had a huge chain and padlock wrapped around them and a hefty looking security guard came and unlocked all of this. It was a bit amusing that bit! They told me I could go no further so I went to touch mum one more time, the porters lifted the cover and I kissed her head through the shroud, then she was gone, with hefty security chappie padlocking the doors again!

I was fine until I parked back on the driveway and thought about going into an empty house. It is weird and I've had a few sobs, mum has always been here with me, such a part of this house, and now no mum! A friend has just called for another chat and a bit of support and one of my best friends from overseas has offered to come over earlier than the funeral to help me out, if need be, so that will be good.

So far, so good, but I don't think it's quite hit me yet. Hopefully I can take it when it does. Will launch into calls and arrangements tomorrow. It will be so very strange now to have all the time in the world, after being so constrained by mum's illness for so very long.

RIP my lovely mum, wherever you are.
 

Tin

Registered User
May 18, 2014
4,825
UK
You must be a very strong lady to witness all you have while your dear mum was in hospital, keep that strength with you. Hope your friends gather round you soon and hold you tight.

My tears are for you tonight dear Marnie.
 
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