A difficult phase to handle

BeckyJan

Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
18,972
Derbyshire
Some of you will realise my husband fell some 7 weeks ago - broke his ribs. For normal healthy people this is not a major problem, just painful. For D it was a major trauma and since then his mobility and mental ability have deteriorated enormously.

He is now in rehab. What a roller coaster of worries I have had. ? DVT, Cellutis, sickness. Now they are investigating a possible UTI.

Two weeks ago I was warned he may not come home again. Now I am planning his return in 2/3 weeks - awaiting a review with OT, Social Worker and Physios - just to make sure I can cope.
The support seems to be dressing am and undressing pm!! The rest of the time is for me to handle - except maybe a day at centre.

I have sussed out a private nurse - hopefully to give me some hours of freedom during the week. I just hope I can cope with sleepless nights - there seems to be little or no help for that around here.

During visiting time today he seemed so depressed and is just longing to be in his own home. Hopefully in 2/3 weeks his wish will be granted. Apart from work with physios and general rehab I need to get builder out of the way (level access shower should be started next Monday).

I hope this is not too boring but I am sure others will identify with similar problems. Comments welcomed as it is good not to feel alone in this.

Best wishes all Jan
 

christine_batch

Registered User
Jul 31, 2007
3,388
Buckinghamshire
Dear Jan,
Your post is not boring at all. You are just stating the facts as many will understand.
There is so many things to get sorted out in one go.
I use to write all the things down so that I did not forget anything.
I do hope that D will be home with you soon.
Best wishes
Christine
 

ROSEANN

Registered User
Oct 1, 2006
909
71
staffordshire
Dear Jan
you certainly have a lot on your plate I hope you are taking care of yourself as well?
My friend who`s husband also has AD fell last year and hurt his ribs and he also deteriorated alot but he did not have all the problems your husband has had.
I hope things soon improve for you Jan .
Please take care
Love Roseann
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Dear Jan, not boring at all!

As you know, I've been through a similar scanario, and I know how devastating it is to see the rapid deterioration.

I didn't manage to get John home, and I have huge respect for your determination to have David home.

I hope you manage it, and I wish you every success.

Keep us informed.

Love,
 

lesmisralbles

Account Closed
Nov 23, 2007
5,543
Dear Jan

I, don't know what to say - so why am I posting ?
We, Ron and I send our love and support.
I, do know, as do we all. You want him home, say no more.
Barb & RonX:)
 

gigi

Registered User
Nov 16, 2007
7,788
66
East Midlands
:)Hello Jan,

I understand your wish to have D at home with you..

Have no experience at all in this field....

You obviously are going about things in the right way..ensuring that practically everything is in place..

I think from your post you know it won't be easy..but you and D are a couple and and you know what's best for you..

Is there a contingency plan..in case it doesn't work?

I know you're thinking about D..

But think about you as well..that too is practical...

Keep posting and talking..

Lots of love gigi xx
 

BeckyJan

Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
18,972
Derbyshire
Is there a contingency plan..in case it doesn't work?
Thanks Gigi - no I do not think there is a plan here. I am optimistic that the OT, Social Worker and my own GP (thro Practice Nurse) will be supportive. I seem to be regarded as a 'survivor' so maybe they know I will only cry out when desperate. :eek::confused::mad:

However, I do want to stay positive. So I hope D can come home and be happy for as long as it takes - weeks, months, years :confused:
I just pray I can handle it with all the strength, tolerance and courage I can muster.
Oh heck, that sounds so SMUG - but I need to keep on the UP.

Back to the thread title 'a difficult phase to handle' :(
Love Jan
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,381
Kent
It`s a very difficult phase to handle Jan, and I feel you must do this, a] because you want your husband at home, and b] because you don`t want any regrets.

I hope with everything I have it will be all right.

Doea David normally sleep well at night? Why are you concerned about night time?

Love xx
 

connie

Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
9,519
Frinton-on-Sea
Dear Jan,
Hopefully in 2/3 weeks his wish will be granted. Apart from work with physios and general rehab I need to get builder out of the way (level access shower should be started next Monday).
You sound so positive, I feel sure you will succeed. Do hope everything goes according to plan. Fingers, toes and everything else crossed for you both.

Thank you for sharing.
 

BeckyJan

Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
18,972
Derbyshire
Hello Sylvia:

In the old days he was up 2/3 maybe more times for waterworks problems. Then I did not always have to get up to help.
Now his mobility and confusion would mean I would have to supervise every detail :eek:
Plus, at present he is very disturbed at night. That maybe cos he is in a strange environment. But it will still be strange, to him, when he returns home. This is because we need to bring bed downstairs and re arrange the home accordingly.

So yes I am concerned and just hope we can manage it. (I am even planning a nurse for daytime cover for me to obtain 'sleep time'.

To Gigi, Les Miserables, Skye, Christine, Roseann - thank you so much for your concern and interest.

Love Jan
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
That maybe cos he is in a strange environment. But it will still be strange, to him, when he returns home. This is because we need to bring bed downstairs and re arrange the home accordingly.
That how we have it in our home bed downstairs

awaiting a review with OT, Social Worker and Physios - just to make sure I can cope.
The support seems to be dressing am and undressing pm!! The rest of the time is for me to handle - except maybe a day at centre.
yes also if I was you I would get a carer in for the morning to help with making breakfast for your husband & wash dress him, give her the key to the house

Like that if you have not had a lot of sleep at night time. She can take over while you get some rest in the morning

Then another carer same person or not to help undress him at night.

also tell them more days at day centre, they must be Joking only giving you one day . if not , then you want someone to sit with your husband for a few hours during the day 3 hours 3 or 4 time a week . you can catch up with sleep or go out do the shopping, or just go out .

Don't let SW tell you what you need , you tell them what you want in Supporting your husband at home with you Good luck wishing you all the best xx