A difficult phase to handle

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by BeckyJan, Apr 14, 2008.

  1. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    Some of you will realise my husband fell some 7 weeks ago - broke his ribs. For normal healthy people this is not a major problem, just painful. For D it was a major trauma and since then his mobility and mental ability have deteriorated enormously.

    He is now in rehab. What a roller coaster of worries I have had. ? DVT, Cellutis, sickness. Now they are investigating a possible UTI.

    Two weeks ago I was warned he may not come home again. Now I am planning his return in 2/3 weeks - awaiting a review with OT, Social Worker and Physios - just to make sure I can cope.
    The support seems to be dressing am and undressing pm!! The rest of the time is for me to handle - except maybe a day at centre.

    I have sussed out a private nurse - hopefully to give me some hours of freedom during the week. I just hope I can cope with sleepless nights - there seems to be little or no help for that around here.

    During visiting time today he seemed so depressed and is just longing to be in his own home. Hopefully in 2/3 weeks his wish will be granted. Apart from work with physios and general rehab I need to get builder out of the way (level access shower should be started next Monday).

    I hope this is not too boring but I am sure others will identify with similar problems. Comments welcomed as it is good not to feel alone in this.

    Best wishes all Jan
  2. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    Dear Jan,
    Your post is not boring at all. You are just stating the facts as many will understand.
    There is so many things to get sorted out in one go.
    I use to write all the things down so that I did not forget anything.
    I do hope that D will be home with you soon.
    Best wishes

    ROSEANN Registered User

    Oct 1, 2006
    Dear Jan
    you certainly have a lot on your plate I hope you are taking care of yourself as well?
    My friend who`s husband also has AD fell last year and hurt his ribs and he also deteriorated alot but he did not have all the problems your husband has had.
    I hope things soon improve for you Jan .
    Please take care
    Love Roseann
  4. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Dear Jan, not boring at all!

    As you know, I've been through a similar scanario, and I know how devastating it is to see the rapid deterioration.

    I didn't manage to get John home, and I have huge respect for your determination to have David home.

    I hope you manage it, and I wish you every success.

    Keep us informed.

  5. lesmisralbles

    lesmisralbles Account Closed

    Nov 23, 2007
    Dear Jan

    I, don't know what to say - so why am I posting ?
    We, Ron and I send our love and support.
    I, do know, as do we all. You want him home, say no more.
    Barb & RonX:)
  6. gigi

    gigi Registered User

    Nov 16, 2007
    East Midlands
    :)Hello Jan,

    I understand your wish to have D at home with you..

    Have no experience at all in this field....

    You obviously are going about things in the right way..ensuring that practically everything is in place..

    I think from your post you know it won't be easy..but you and D are a couple and and you know what's best for you..

    Is there a contingency plan..in case it doesn't work?

    I know you're thinking about D..

    But think about you as well..that too is practical...

    Keep posting and talking..

    Lots of love gigi xx
  7. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    Thanks Gigi - no I do not think there is a plan here. I am optimistic that the OT, Social Worker and my own GP (thro Practice Nurse) will be supportive. I seem to be regarded as a 'survivor' so maybe they know I will only cry out when desperate. :eek::confused::mad:

    However, I do want to stay positive. So I hope D can come home and be happy for as long as it takes - weeks, months, years :confused:
    I just pray I can handle it with all the strength, tolerance and courage I can muster.
    Oh heck, that sounds so SMUG - but I need to keep on the UP.

    Back to the thread title 'a difficult phase to handle' :(
    Love Jan
  8. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    It`s a very difficult phase to handle Jan, and I feel you must do this, a] because you want your husband at home, and b] because you don`t want any regrets.

    I hope with everything I have it will be all right.

    Doea David normally sleep well at night? Why are you concerned about night time?

    Love xx
  9. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    Dear Jan,
    You sound so positive, I feel sure you will succeed. Do hope everything goes according to plan. Fingers, toes and everything else crossed for you both.

    Thank you for sharing.
  10. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    Hello Sylvia:

    In the old days he was up 2/3 maybe more times for waterworks problems. Then I did not always have to get up to help.
    Now his mobility and confusion would mean I would have to supervise every detail :eek:
    Plus, at present he is very disturbed at night. That maybe cos he is in a strange environment. But it will still be strange, to him, when he returns home. This is because we need to bring bed downstairs and re arrange the home accordingly.

    So yes I am concerned and just hope we can manage it. (I am even planning a nurse for daytime cover for me to obtain 'sleep time'.

    To Gigi, Les Miserables, Skye, Christine, Roseann - thank you so much for your concern and interest.

    Love Jan
  11. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005

    Just found your message. Thanks alot - yes, everything crossed. :rolleyes:;)
    Love Jan
  12. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    That how we have it in our home bed downstairs

    yes also if I was you I would get a carer in for the morning to help with making breakfast for your husband & wash dress him, give her the key to the house

    Like that if you have not had a lot of sleep at night time. She can take over while you get some rest in the morning

    Then another carer same person or not to help undress him at night.

    also tell them more days at day centre, they must be Joking only giving you one day . if not , then you want someone to sit with your husband for a few hours during the day 3 hours 3 or 4 time a week . you can catch up with sleep or go out do the shopping, or just go out .

    Don't let SW tell you what you need , you tell them what you want in Supporting your husband at home with you Good luck wishing you all the best xx

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