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A different expenses thread - what do you think?


Registered User
May 8, 2014
Sorry all the people who took the time to reply. I realized after a pause for thought that from the thread it would be easy to identify me and if sister looked at the forum - doubt she would but you never know - it would cause more upset. x
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Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
West Hertfordshire
Is that inc or ex tax & NI? does she realise the implication of being 'employed' ?

On one hand £100 a week doesn't sound a great deal if he has plenty of money, but on the other,maybe you could reach a figure that doesn't chip into his savings.


Registered User
May 21, 2014
Why on earth should your dad's money be used for her haircuts and clothes?
Yes, you can't live on Carers Allowance alone but if she doesn't have savings she should claim the benefits she is entitled to. I have given up work to look after my OH but that doesn't mean I can just help myself to his money to support myself. In fact, I contribute my half of the rent and utility bills, and so should she. So if she gets free food and lodgings, she is better off than most. How on earth do you spend that much money a month on clothes and haircuts anyway? Totally loony.


Registered User
Mar 28, 2015
I think she's got a bloomin' cheek! If she was the sole carer then I might be able to see her point but your Dad has a live in Carer AS WELL, I would have thought that would mean she's not even entitled to Carer's Allowance!

Your sister needs to get a grip on reality. I hate to say this but it sounds to me like she views this as a way to avoid getting a real job and have a jolly nice lifestyle at your Dad's expense!
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Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
Radcliffe on Trent
I think you have to be extremely careful with this. As attorney, you have to be able to demonstrate that your father's money is only being spent for his financial benefit.

If your sister has no other income, she may be eligible for various benefits in her own right and should seek advice on this from CAB etc. The fact that she is living in his house and caring for him does not entitle her to live entirely off his income.

Any expenditure from your dad's account should be supported by receipts. There should be clear documentation of how the various bills are paid.

If a regular cash payment is made to your sister, she is either self-employed or an employee and there must be proper records and receipts from her. She will need to declare the payments as income and may have a liability for NI or income tax. There may even be a requirement for pension contributions to be made under the new rules.

When dealing with someone else's money you have to be extra squeaky clean and make sure it's all done by the book. Otherwise, especially if at a later date you need to apply for LA funding, you may be considered to have breached the 'deprivation of assets' rules.


Registered User
Jan 20, 2011
If she got paid by your dad (via you as Attorney) to look after him then she wouldn't be able to claim carer's allowance as well, would she? You either get a state benefit as an unpaid family carer, or you are a self-employed carer for a member of your family. Both ways are legal but not at the same time IMO.

Your sister's list of 'expenses' is a red herring. Expenses as such should be those relating to your dad, e.g. if she paid for something for him or his household that he/you would normally pay for, then she presents a receipt to you and you reimburse her for it. What she means is that she has her own personal living expenses that she would normally expect to pay for out of her earnings.

Perhaps a compromise would be for your sister to have a part-time job outside the home and to be paid an hourly rate for the time she looks after your dad when the live-in carer is not on duty. I must say, from my experience of employing live-in carers, it can be a blessing to have a family member on the team but can also create problems with knowing who is in charge and responsible for which duties.

Does your carer work to a written care plan? Your sister's input needs to be clear on this plan. It appears ATM that things have developed ad hoc and you need to clarify and formalise the situation. £100 at week is not unreasonable, provided that your sister's input is substantially worth that sum. If you employed a second part-time agency carer I would think you would have to budget for at least that amount. It really comes down to the question of whether your sister puts in sufficient time and effort to be worth the money.

I think you need a Plan B in reserve. If your dad needs support from more than one carer, how will you sustain that level of care at home using his current income? If your sister decides she cannot afford to continue as at present, or decides she doesn't want to do it long-term, then you would need to budget for alternatives.
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Registered User
May 8, 2014
Thanks everyone - i suspect Susanna you are right. I am still reeling over it all and a bit shocked.

Thanks everyone for your replies but i decided to delete the thread as i was worried i could be identified. x

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