Hello again, sorry to once more asking for some guidance but I didnt know where else to turn . When I visited my Mum in hospital yesterday , I had a long chat with the unit manager , she was very kind and asked me to fill her in on Mums background as she said that it was felt that she was having some guilt issues over something . Thing is , my sister and I both suffered abuse by my late Father when we were children . Its something that we ( my sister and I ) have talked about but have never ever discussed it with Mum as she adored my Father even though he was extremely abusive towrds her also and since he died , 40 years ago, Mum has had him on a pedestal . Even though she has been married to our step Father for 30 years , she has never got over our Fathers death and at times its hard for my sister and I to hear her talk about him as he was a cruel and abusive person who ruined our childhoods . Mum always defended him , even when he abused us , she always took his side and I am now wondering if, in her dementia, this has come back to haunt her and if this is the reason for her obvious guilt . I didnt mention it to the unit manager yesterday as it is painful to talk about and requires more than just a ten minute chat but I am now wondering if we should tell them or whether its best to keep it to ourselves . We have long since forgiven our Mother for it all , she is now 87 years old and we dont want to be disloyal but there again, it may throw some light on how she is expressing herself , any advice out there please ?