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A couple of issues

Jules ma om

New member
Mar 21, 2020
1
Hi I live in Cape Town, S Africa, there's no national/government support for Dementia sufferers here, only private doctors and care, which I can' t afford, so I look for help wherever I can. My husband was diagnosed with mild dementia (??) in early March this year. He takes Memor. Our two main issues are bedtime and people he sees (which aren't there). Neither issue seems to bother him a lot. The people come and go and aren't threatening. We do have a laugh about them sometimes, e.g. yesterday I made pea and ham soup and my husband came quietly over to me at one point and said not to serve the soup yet as one of his visitors is Jewish....you have to laugh, hey!!! He often thinks our son of 44 is hear visiting too, which he isn't. The other issue is nighttime, in bed. He wakes up during the night and rolls over to me & just will not leave me alone. I hope this doesn't offend but I don't know who else to ask while we're stuck in lock down. Some nights he interferes with me, and hence my sleep, on and off all night and I end up in the spare room. Is this common? Any ideas what I can do? I read giving an antihistamine helps with a deeper sleep? Keep safe....
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
6,994
Bristol
Welcome to her forum, @Jules ma om. Sorry I have no advice for you in your situation, which does seem intolerable. The Alz Society has an organisation in your country with a helpline and they may be able to advise. https://alzheimers.org.za/about-us/. Otherwise, there is a large number of people here who will have experienced similar problems and should be able to advise or support you.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,548
N Ireland
Hello and welcome from me too @Jules ma om.

My wife is 4-5 years post diagnosis and through most of that time she has been conversing with non existent people and animals. Like your husband, she isn't bothered by this and I just ignore it, apart from mentioning it to her consultant when she is reviewed.

My nights were also disturbed so I took to a separate room a couple of years ago. I think some of the disturbance is due to anxiety and the need for comfort so I always retire with my wife and don't leave her until she is settled. The downside with me is that my wife can wander so I have to get up to get her back to bed and settled more often that I like.

The issue with your son may be due to the fact that a person with dementia can lose track of relationships. My wife doesn't always know who I am, or what our relationship is, and, at times, isn't great with who her children are. That's something I found unsettling at first but now I'm used to it.

Would it be worth talking to the pharmacist about possible side effects of the medication causing issues. Beyond that, if symptoms suddenly worsen then an infection like a UTI is often a culprit so that should be checked.

You will find a lot of info in the publications list that you can find by clicking the following link

Best of luck to all of you. Keep posting as dementia is a difficult thing and you will find plenty of wisdom here.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,853
South coast
Hello @Jules ma om

Hallucinations are quite common in dementia, but so long as he is not upset by them, I wouldnt worry.
My husband was diagnosed with mild dementia (??) in early March this year. He takes Memor.
I dont know Memor, but Im wondering whether its a brand name of donepezil, which is a drug very commonly given for Alzheimers. One of the rare side effects of this drug is hypersexuality, so it might be worth talking to whoever prescribed this drug.

Im posting a link to compassionate communication, which you might find helpful, especially as the dementia progresses.
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
667
The other issue is nighttime, in bed. He wakes up during the night and rolls over to me & just will not leave me alone.
Welcome @Jules ma om - that does sound completely intolerable and you'll definitely need your sleep to get through this or you'll have no quality of life at all. You've probably considered this but can you move permanently into the spare room? Or maybe start the night off with him then when he's asleep slip away.
 

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