It's getting harder and harder to help my mother. We're very fortunate to have a kind and patient carer, but our mum won't let her care. A previously fastidious lady, she can't really see these days that her clothes are dirty and food-soiled - but she'll hardly ever let anyone help her with her dressing. Worse still, she refuses to let anyone take dirty underwear away or give her clean, with obvious results. More dangerously, if she goes out anywhere, she fights all attempts to take her arm, though I do insist - which she hates, tells me I'm cruel, etc. - but with the awful pavements, it's just an accident waiting to happen if I don't take her arm. She's mid-90s, with advanced AD, but she was always proud and pretty difficult, and now it's so hard. She's clearly depressed about not doing the things she used to, but the sad fact is that she really can't do them. I could go on and on - her refusal to take any medication, her obsession with phoning me - logging 30-40 calls a day! ... her world is shrinking, and I feel so sad and guilty about what she increasingly sees as her prison. But at least she's still at home, is cared for, has her things around her, her family nearby and in touch every day. Special occasions are now ruled out by the doc as they create hysteria and terrible over-reactions, awful for her and everyone - but I still feel so guilty about excluding her.