A Caregiver's Bill Of Rights


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
I found this while browsing, and thought we could all do with a reminder:


I have the right:

-to take care of myself. This is not an act of selfishmess. It will give me the capacity to take better care of my relative.

-to seek help from others even though my relative may object. I recognize the limits of my own endurance and strength.

-to maintain facets of my own life that do not include the person I care for, just as I would if he or she were healthy.

-I know that I do everything that I reasonably can for this person, and I have the right to do some things just for myself.

-to get angry, be depressed, and express other difficult feelings occasionally.

-to reject any attempt by my relative (either conscious or unconscious) to manipulate me through guilt, anger or depression.

-to receive consideration, affection, forgiveness, and acceptance for what I do for my loved one for as long as I offer these qualities in return.

-to take pride in what I am accoomplishing and to applaud the courage it has sometimes taken to meet the needs of my relative.

-to protect my individuality and my right to make a life for myself that will sustain me in the time when my relative no longer needs my full-time help.

-to expect and demand that as new strides are made in finding resources to aid physically and mentally impaired older persons in our country, similar strides will be made toward aiding and supporting caregivers.

Hope you don't mind - I'm adding the reference to this
"Caregiving: Helping an Aging Loved One" by Jo Horne, AARP Books, 1985, ISBN 0673248224


Registered User
Jul 3, 2007
Seems so obvious when you see it written in black and white!

However, we all know that in reality it is not that easy. How many of us would put the needs of our loved one before our own needs every time there was a conflict of interests- 99.9999%???

I would think that to achieve even one or two of the points on a regular basis would be deemed a real success by most of us.

Liz x


Registered User
Jul 6, 2007
leigh lancashire
Take care of yourself

just found out mums struggling to take a bath.she struggles to get in and out.last week she got stuck.dad unable to comprehend the situation.she used her sense and took her mobile with her.then dropped it in the bath.dads unable to use a phone so she was stuck for an hour in cold water until she managed to get herself out.I have contacted social services today for an assessment of needs.this won't happen again.dads waitng for an assessment for alzheimers on Friday,whatever the outcome mum needs help aswell as what myself and sister do.


Registered User
Oct 9, 2003
Birmingham Hades
Birmingham City Council has a carers charter,consisting of 10 points which should be observed.
They are similar to the ones mentioned here.

fearful fiona

Registered User
Apr 19, 2007
Thank you for this, I think we do need a reminder from time to time. I shall print it out and stick it up somewhere to remind me.

Tender Face

Account Closed
Mar 14, 2006
NW England
Lovely prompt, Hazel.

I'm passionate at times about rights on many different fronts .... but believe too that one of the most important things about having the freedom of having rights is not only appreciating that I or others may have them, but also the appreciation that I have the freedom of choice not to exercise them .......

My concern lies for those who seem to have none ...... (freedom/rights or choice)

Karen, x


Registered User
Jul 6, 2007
leigh lancashire
I am impressed.The occupational therapist has rung mum today and done an assessment over the phone.She will contact her again on friday.there doesn't seem to be a problem with her having a shower fitted.mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm