A Brightener

Margaret W

Registered User
Apr 28, 2007
North Derbyshire
Hi all,

Mum had a visit from the GP on Friday, following tests. They showed some liver problems (minor) and some heart failure (medication to follow), but the GP asked mum how she liked the home and mum said everyone was nice, the "nurses" were all nice, it was fine, but she would rather be at home.

Mum has a fungal infection in the cheeks of her buttocks, it is proving hard to clear, and is causing her discomfort. Cream was prescribed, and mum was happy.

Today the Psychiatrist visited, after my request, cos I felt a bit out of the equation as to what was happening with mum. The half hour visit I envisaged took 4 hours with travelling time. I arrived at 4.15, to find the residents being ushered in to the new dining room for tea, but tea doesn't get served till everyone is there. Mum was first in. So I thought, I won't disturb her having tea, I'll wait in the car till they have finished. 5 p.m. still not finished. So I went in anyway, and sat in the lounge and enjoyed Chris Tarrant in some rubbish quiz show, but it was relaxing.

5.35 a Care Worker tells me the psychiatrist has arrived, mum is in her bedroom waiting, so I go along.

What is this doctor coming for? She is coming to discuss what is happening in your brain. My brain? What is wrong with my brain? Well, mum, I have told you before, you are old, and all parts of your body wear out when you get old, and with you the brain is wearing out as well. Oh. So you think I am losing my marbles do you? No, mum, not quite, but you do have some wear and tear in the brain. Oh, so I am going off my rocker am I? No, it is just like something like arthritis, it means your leg doesn't work so well, the same can happen in the brain, so that doesn't work so well either. Oh.

The psychiatrist comes in. Lovely lady, puts mum at ease, asks her about herself, decides on a new drug for the delusions of voices, and then asks mum how she is liking the home. Oh, says mum, it is fine, everyone is lovely, the nurses are lovely, everyone is very kind. The pschiatrist asks me how I think mum is doing, and I said mum is a model resident, no trouble at all, she obeys instructions, she helps other residents with their cushions, and their teacups (oh, yes, says mum, it is my job to collect tea cups), and I nearly cried. My little 4'10" mum is helping other residents. She has never helped anyone in her life before. I was so impressed, it brought me to tears. I almost said "thank you AD for giving my mum the chance to do something for others", cos she never has, and if I believed in heaven, she will now be going there (mind you, she won't meet my dad there cos he wasn't a Catholic and only Catholics go to heaven, did you know?)

Anyway, laugh, the psychiatrist concludes her visit and leaves, and mum pulls a face. What is that for, I ask. Well, she was useless says mum, she never even looked at my bottom.

Ah well.

Just feel a bit brighter hearing mum saying she is doing things for others, and it seems to have made her feel a bit important, and she heard me tell the doc that she was no trouble at all.

Gee, I am so grateful for this. Hearing what some of you go through makes me thankful that my mum is doing so well. She might not like being in the home but I feel so much better hearing that she likes the staff etc.

Thanks for listening.



Registered User
Apr 15, 2007
Hello Margaret,

I'm pleased that the psychiatrist seen your mum and hopefully the meds will be affective. It sounds like your mum is starting to settle in and make her self at home, her willingness to help others is a good sign and probably makes her feel needed.

Six months on my mum still asks every visit if she is coming home she also goes through frequent periods where she packs her belongings. When I take mum out of the place she is very anxious to get back I think she is institutionalized now. Even when mum was at home she always wanted to go home.

We can only sympathise with their plight it would be so hard been up rooted and placed somewhere so foreign to them. I hope that your mum one day soon, likes it there. Regards Taffy.


Registered User
Oct 6, 2007
Dear Margaret.

What a lovely story. You say it bought you to tears, well I am sat here with a big smile on my face and tears in my eyes. It so lovely to hear lovely storys that make you smile.

Michele xx

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Dear Margaret.

I sense the relief in your post and am so pleased for you. You sound as if you finally believe you made the right decision for your mother, and that`s a good place to be.

It`s funny what you say about the teacups. I had a very selfish mother. My sister and I always felt we were a niusance.

When my mother was widowed, she became an adviser for the CAB. She would tell us tales of teenagers who were having a bad time at home. She was so upset for them.

There are none so blind as those who do not see.

Love xx


Registered User
Jul 6, 2007
leigh lancashire
Dear Margaret,what a cracking post!The things our loved ones say are hilarious sometimes,and its good that we can laugh at them.I had the GP to a resident today,she was very confused and has been for ten days.GP's ,are another thread!anyway the nicest GP from surgery visited at my request.WELL,what a conversation the resident had with the GP.The resident was playing imaginary dominoes with paracetamol,with the GP.There were no paracetamol though!Then the resident turned to her daughter who was crying at what she was witnessing and said "pull yourself together,there my paracetamol not yours". what could we all do but laugh?Resident admitted to hospital within the hour.

laugh and the world laughs with you,cry and you cry alone,thats my mums saying.keep laughing margaret,your mum doesn't know why your upset or laughing,so laugh it's the best medicine.
love elainex