A bit of reassurance


Registered User
Aug 25, 2004
Hello all and seasons greetings

I hardly come on to here as never find the time in my hectic life but just needed an ear of 2 about stuff you'll understand.

Mum went into a nursing home due to recuperation from an acute illness which was a great 'lever' to get her into somewhere safe. She's been there for 6 months and recently has been wanting to see her flat (which still is not sold) I've driven her passed it but am reticent to let her go in (gut feeling this is the best thing for her). She is definitely not able to live there, even with a care package.

I just feel really mean and have no one else to reassure me or critise me for the decision to not let her go in the flat (hasten to add that sometimes she denies she's ever lived there).

Also I'm going skiing over Xmas as it's the first time I shall have been away without worrying my self stupid but of course now the guilt of not being with Mum at Xmas to building up.

Generally Mum is getting lovelier but the day and overly grateful for the support I give her. She cries with happiness when she sees me ( most days) and is devastated when I go.

It would almost be easier? is she was nasty and forgot who I am occasionally.

Anyway i'm rambling now!


Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
Codie, whatever you are doing must be the right thing as you do it with love.
You are coping with your mum's illness as best you can. You also need time away, to recharge your batteries to carry on this.superb job you are doing.

I don't know about mum's home, but just carry on with your gut feeling.
Take care, Connie


Registered User
Jul 15, 2005
It does seem like guilt goes along with being a carer. I have come to the conclusion that I am just not going to make my Mom happy. Maybe in the short term but it is shortly forgotten and then there is something else that is making her world sad. You have to do what you need to do to be happy and keep your sanity. You won't be any good for your Mom if you go down the tubes with her, so go on your Christmas trip and have alot to tell her about when you get back !

I LOVE to ski but haven't been in a few years so make a run for me !



Registered User
Mar 13, 2004
Codie go and enjoy yourself you have done nothing to feel guilty about. You are a daughter who loves her mother and is doing the very best in your power for her.
Of course she can't live alone, she needs to be in a safe environment and you have found her that. If you become depressed and stressed your mum will suffer too from your feelings of unhappiness. Get off on the piste and enjoy. You deserve it. You have suffered too with this illness. You need some time to regroup.