A beautiful video clip about "repetitiveness"

Onlyme

Registered User
Apr 5, 2010
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She herself had a long term friend who developed alzheimers and I can hear her now telling me how it was really no fun going out any more because her pal couldn't hold a proper conversation and drove her mad repeating everything a million times.

Thing is, she still stuck by her and continued to visit and phone right up until the end.


This is a lesson that needs to be taught to more people. We live in a throw away society and we need not 'throw away' people just because they become different. Your Mum was obviously a very loyal friend.
 

jan.s

Registered User
Sep 20, 2011
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Because it has a point.... With dementia is just wasted breath.

Like last night at the pub I must have said the mixed grill was off the menu that night, only for MIL to pipe up 30 seconds later "I think I'll have the mixed grill!" - over and over again. We discretely ordered her a steak instead and she never queried it.

Actually children's questions can be exasperating too - like "are we nearly there yet", "buy why...?" repeated in whiny tones ad nauseum etc etc. But even they start boring themselves with repetition at some point. And can be bribed / threatened into silence.

Is it wasted breath? I don't agree. I think if reassurance can bring calm, it's not a waste of breath. People with dementia don't forget on purpose

There are many posters on here with dementia, and I doubt if they appreciate feeling that reassuring them is a waste of breath.

I guess it just depends on the patience and empathy each of us feels. Having worked with young children for almost 40 years, I have extreme patience for young, old and all in between. I hate it if I feel someone is intolerant towards me, and I don't have dementia.
 
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grove

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Aug 24, 2010
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Thanks For Sharing

Hello Helen , Just watched the Video ( never seen it before ) very moving & agree with you Helen would be good if small clips of all stages of Dementia would help the public understand Dementia a lot better ......Sorry meant to say found it very moving & liked it


Love Grove x x
 
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stressed51

Registered User
Jan 3, 2012
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wales
Lovely little clip, made me cry though, and yes this portrays the common misconception that is all there is to dementia, sadly we know it's far worse. In reality my OH wouldnt be able to remember what a book is let alone where to find it and relate to it. Still moving though, and I so wish it was just still the repetetive questions and nothing more x
 

Grannie G

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Apr 3, 2006
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It really upset me when the son shouted at the father .

I know the father would have been unable to have found the diary and the related entry so quickly, but the message was still emotive and relevant.

And I am not proud to say I too have shouted, just like the son. I made my husband cry. Now I know how I looked and sounded.
 

jan.s

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Sep 20, 2011
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I'm afraid i didn't take the clip literally. I saw it as a way of showing how we need to have patience with each other.

The old man is explaining how he had shown patience when his son was young, and now it is the turn of the son to reciprocate. We all need kindness and understanding, but especially those who find themselves with a condition.
 

hollycat

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Nov 20, 2011
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It really upset me when the son shouted at the father .

I know the father would have been unable to have found the diary and the related entry so quickly, but the message was still emotive and relevant.

And I am not proud to say I too have shouted, just like the son. I made my husband cry. Now I know how I looked and sounded.

whilst I have felt like shouting, I never have because of TP. I am so lucky to have found TP before the shouting.

Thank you TP !
 

sleepless

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Feb 19, 2010
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The Sweet North
I'm afraid i didn't take the clip literally. I saw it as a way of showing how we need to have patience with each other.

The old man is explaining how he had shown patience when his son was young, and now it is the turn of the son to reciprocate. We all need kindness and understanding, but especially those who find themselves with a condition.

I agree.
Thanks for posting it Helen, it made me cry, but it will also help me.
I do try to answer my husband's questions as if it's the first time he's asked, but must admit the answers can tend to get shorter each time!
I try to treat my loved ones as I would wish to be treated if I had dementia.
When I visit my dad, I give him my time and affection -- certainly wouldn't sit next to him reading a newspaper like the son in the film, so another 'lesson' in there perhaps?
 

sonia owen

Registered User
Thanks

I have seen this very moving little film. Its good to be reminded. I remember my oldest Son, when learning to talk. He would point at differant things and say to me. " What's that" all day long.
Love Sonia xxxx
 

tomkitten16

Registered User
Sep 24, 2012
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merseyside
I have never seen that clip before but it moved me to tears- not only am I impatient with mum sometimes ,I am impatient with my 13yr old son when he says 'nanna's ok today isn't she - she will be ok won't she'' and because I, too, am scared ,I snap and say''You know how things are with nanna- she has dementia and won't get better -ever'' Thankyou for sharing it xx
 

rajahh

Registered User
Aug 29, 2008
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Hertfordshire
When I visit my dad, I give him my time and affection -- certainly wouldn't sit next to him reading a newspaper like the son in the film, so another 'lesson' in there perhaps?

This is a quote from sleepless.

I agree with you if you are visiting someone, but when you are living with someone in the home there are times when you do get absorbed inan article, or a task or writing a letter, or even on the laptop on TP!!

It is much harder then not to get frustrated.

When I watched the clip I then went on to see another one which was highlighted at the side of the page a letter from Mom and Dad Now that did make me re think my attitude to my husband

That is the one which made me cry and I feel will help me to care for him in a kinder way . ( I do try to be as gentle as possible now but this did give me food for thought).

I am glad to have seen the link so to the person who put it on for us a big thank you

Jeannette
 

tre

Registered User
Sep 23, 2008
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Herts
As I said I loved the clip. I have gone back and looked at the letter to mum and dad as Jeannette recommended and found that very moving also. I was fortunate enough to be holding my dear mum's hand when she died two years ago next month and I like to think that made a difference to both of us. She had Vascular Dementia and had lost all her language by that time.
My dad whose birthday it is today misses her terribly. I try to be gentle and supportive of him but have not seen him since Friday because of the snow. I am off to see him now whilst my husband is at the Day Care.
My husband has AD and needs care 24/7 but much of what was said in the Mum and Dad letter film could equally apply to him.
Thank you very much for posting these films Helen. I think anything that gives me a little insight as a carer into how the caree is feeling is helpful.
Love Tre
 

rajahh

Registered User
Aug 29, 2008
2,790
0
Hertfordshire
THank you tre for commenting on the letter to Mom and Dad. I mentioned it because as you say it makes you rethink about the person you are caring about.

It is not meant just for Mums and Dads, not to me anyway.

I truly do learn so much from TP and much of what I learn calms me down and helps me to be gentle and loving in circumstances where I find that hard

Jeannette
 

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