My mother was diagnosed just before Christmas, I decided that I would not tell her the extent of her problem, her doctors agreed with me we just told her that her problems were due to depression and once she started to take her anti-depressants again she'd feel better. Christmas was horrendous, we went to my daughter's. The change in venue disorientated her and as far as she was concerned I was the devil incarnate, she would not have me in the same room as her. Mainly because I had not told her that we exchange gifts at Christmas. It is not often that I get all three of my children together as they all live in London and I am in Nottingham. I know it sounds mean but I am already dreading next Christmas. Also the cost of driving to London both financialy and physically is wearing me down but as an only child I feel that I have to do it. She claims to never have any visitors, this I know is not true. I have a godmother who although in her 80's herself is a godsend. Westminster Health Care for the Elderly are also excellent, I cannot fault them. I keep in regular contact with them through e-mail and telephone calls. I don't know what they think of me as mother continually lies about me to them-I never go to visit and when I do my partner (who she's never liked) only makes himself lunch and leaves her to go hungry.
She has been put onto Aricept, that's when she takes it. Her medication is in dosette boxes, but last month she was given 4 boxes and when I was there for mother's day I noticed she'd taken tablets out of all 4 boxes so I could not see what ones she had missed. So Monday led to another e-mail to care workers. My children go to visit their gran, but are getting wary as they are often accused of stealing things- her stapler & A-Z of London spring to mind. Even when you find them she does not acknowledge that they've been found.
I would like to move into sheltered housing but she is refusing, here again the care workers are working with me. She can be very aggressive and this is stopping some of her friends from visiting- if I explained this to her would it have any effect?
I feel a lot better after having that rant-just ignore me, I'm sure there will be more to come. Another question will I ever stop feeling guilty about feeling angry that this has happened not only to my mother but to me? My youngest left home last August- oh good I thought now I can do what I want and then this happens. As they say life's a bitch and then you die, I'm beginning to see the truth in that!