1. snooky

    snooky Registered User

    May 12, 2007
    104
    devon
    Hello all,
    Well I posted yesterday for incontinence advice for my mum for when dad comes out of the home on Monday (or so I thought until today!). I went down to see him this afternoon. He went in yesterday. When signing the visitor book I noticed the doctor had been in to see him and my heart just fell. The staff said that they had called the doctor as they were concerned and he has been put on another course of antibiotics. He only just finished the 2nd course yesterday. He is not recovering well from the infection (pneumonia). I am so worried about him at the moment, he is so weak and thin and seems depressed. Anyway I went to mum's after as I was sure she would be keen to know how he was after I saw him. Before I could say anything she said I assume you have heard that it is permanent. I didnt know what she meant. I was going to talk about the doctor's visit. She said that the social worker had rung to say they had spoken to the home and that dad could have a permanent place now. Which means he wont be coming home now at all. I explained about the doctor and she didnt know about it. I am so surprised the home hadnt called her. I could see it was a shock, what with hearing about the permanency today as well. It has been a bad day really. I am trying to look on the bright side, but sometimes it isnt easy. He just doesnt seem to be recovering from the pneumonia infection at all. I said to mum that it may be best if we hold back to tell dad about the permanency just yet and say that he is staying in there for a while longer than usual to recover from the infection. I just know that if we tell him that he wont be coming home it will probably hit him quite hard at the moment and the main thing at present is that he gets over this bad infection. Mum already tried explaining a week or so ago about the permanent home and he said 'he didnt care' at the time, although I know he was very weak and probably didnt care and still is weak. Just needed to get that all of my chest.
    Snooky x
     
  2. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Snooky, sorry you've had such a bad day.

    I think you're absolutely right to tell your dad he's there until he gets over the infection. That's what I told my husband, he doesn't ask any more, he's much too ill to think about coming home.

    He too has a chest infection which won't clear up, he had the doctor in again today too. Your mum would never be able to care for your dad at home, and once these infections start, they tend to recur.

    I know it's not what any of us would wish for our loved ones, but when infections strike, they really do need 24 hour care.

    All the best,
     
  3. snooky

    snooky Registered User

    May 12, 2007
    104
    devon
    Hi Hazel,
    Thanks for your reply. It is a hard day when after 48 yrs of living together you are suddenly told that your partner wont be coming home for my mum. No matter how strong you are, it must be hard.
    Snooky x - who is taking one day at a time!
     
  4. kanjji

    kanjji Registered User

    Dec 15, 2007
    12
    Glasgow
    Hi snooky
    Just to let you know I know just how you feel. We were told today that my gran won't be home again. She was taken in to hospital 10 days ago and we initially thought it would just be for a couple of days but she has gone really downhill. If she makes it out of hospital she will need to be cared for in a home. It has been a big blow to all of us so you have my sympathy. Take care.xx
     
  5. snooky

    snooky Registered User

    May 12, 2007
    104
    devon
    Thanks Kanjji,
    I'm sorry to hear about your gran. Its good to know that people really understand isn't it.
    Snooky x
     
  6. kanjji

    kanjji Registered User

    Dec 15, 2007
    12
    Glasgow
    Yes it is. Friends sympathise but I feel that unless they have seen someone they care about suffer at the hands of this illness, they can't really understand how awful it is to watch.
     
  7. snooky

    snooky Registered User

    May 12, 2007
    104
    devon
    How true that is. I could talk all day and night about this at the moment, its my way of coping I suppose. We all cope in different ways dont we.
    Snookyx
     
  8. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,894
    Kent
    This is what TP is about Snooky, talk here as much as you want to.

    Love xx
     
  9. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    1,170
    Australia
     
  10. snooky

    snooky Registered User

    May 12, 2007
    104
    devon
    Hi Nell,
    Thanks for the kind words. I am absolutely exhausted at the moment. I think its all the worry and stress taking their toll. I saw dad tonight and he is very poorly, just doesnt seem to be getting better. I hope he can get over this infection. What can you say, I dunno, I am just finding it all really hard at the moment. I will see how he is on Saturday.
    Snooky x
     
  11. Mameeskye

    Mameeskye Registered User

    Aug 9, 2007
    1,669
    NZ
    Hi Snooky

    I truly understand the shock you must be feeling and how hard it must be for your Mum. My Mum left home in an ambulance for the hospital with a UTI. Problems followed needing major surgery and when discharged from hospital she never went home but to a Nursing Home. Tears still come to my eyes as I remember her walking out to the Ambulance (she was just able to do so)on the morning of her 74th Birthday.

    Thoughts are with you and yours at this time. Hope your Dad is better soon.

    Love
    Mameeskye
     

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