95K Care Home Fee's

Discussion in 'End of life care' started by booziefluziesuzie, Sep 11, 2019.

  1. booziefluziesuzie

    booziefluziesuzie Registered User

    Oct 16, 2017
    27
    Female
    Pontefract
    I have a statement from the Care Home for mum from November 2017 until August 2019 - 22 months the figure is just short of £95,000

    Just want to make people aware of the full cost of paying your own care home fees

    House was sold and now all her money has gone

    The care system in this country is a shambles mum and dad worked hard to buy their council house and now there is nothing left and nothing to show for all their hard work. My dying promise to dad was to not let the state take all their money and I've let him down.
     
  2. Louise7

    Louise7 Registered User

    Mar 25, 2016
    1,316
    I think the majority of people on here are probably only too aware of how expensive care home fees are. We're currently in the process of selling Mum's home, which has been in the family since it was built nearly 90 years ago, to pay for her care fees. I don't think there's many who would disagree with you that the care system is broken but better to be able to choose my Mum's care home than have little/no choice over where she is placed.
     
  3. Pete1

    Pete1 Registered User

    Jul 16, 2019
    201
    Male
    Hi @booziefluziesuzie, I know this isn't particularly helpful in your current situation but the Care Act 2014 was supposed to introduce a lifetime cap of £72k for social care costs - sadly this was kicked into the long grass by the Government as it would have mean't a significant shortfall in social care funding.
     
  4. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    19,156
    Male
    North Manchester

    The £72k was not what the individual actually spent, it was the LA assessed cost of care for the LA assessed needs. The individual could actually spend considerably more.

    There was also an annual cap on 'board and lodgings'


     
  5. Sirena

    Sirena Registered User

    Feb 27, 2018
    1,793
    Female
    Yes, it's expensive, but I agree with Louise, I am glad I have been able to choose what care, and when, my mother gets. I would not want her to have to rely on SS, although if she lives long enough she'll have to. 22 months for my mother depletes her savings by £53k (it's £3400 pm but she has pensions/AA of about £1k pm). I'm expecting all her savings to go in care fees.
     
  6. sausagedog

    sausagedog Registered User

    Aug 22, 2019
    38
    Likewise, my mother was widowed and left with us 2 children aged 4 & 7...she worked blinking hard until she retired - owned her own house and we never went without. She wasn’t exactly ecstatic when we talked about care costs etc but at the end of the day, her care is what really mattered when needed - I told her not to myther about care costs because she needed to spend her money on herself which was crucial as she became more frail .. at least having that option, she was able to ‘choose’ when she thought the time was right for her to go into a residential care home & gave peace of mind for us all.
     
  7. Rosalind297

    Rosalind297 Registered User

    Oct 14, 2017
    86
    My mother is from the generation which partly measured the success of their lives by how much they left their children. I distinctly remember that the local paper used to carry that information in the personal announcements - would be unthinkable now. I was brought up in a council house with an outside loo and both of my parents had manual jobs until much later in life when they both secured office jobs with small pensions. They managed to buy a small house, which my Mum still lives in, and saved a modest nest egg. Mum was the keeper of the purse in the family, spent carefully but not frugally and has always maintained that she has done everything to provide for my brother and me once she has gone.

    We are on the cusp of her going into residential care and have taken her to a few events at the home for familiarisation. Her first question is how much is it (the function) and who is paying for it. Cannot imagine what difficulty we are going to have when she does go in as she’s still sharp enough to know it is being paid for. I received her monthly bank statement the other day - all expenses, direct debits, food etc amounted to £380 for the month, rarely over £400 for a month (she wants for nothing by the way but has free carers -I.e. me!). We will soon be paying £1200 per week and we reckon we can afford to keep her in with a 3% annual increase for five years. My brother and I don’t need the money but it is heart-breaking to know that, after everything she has done in her life, she would score a big fat lonely zero in the personal announcements of yore.
     
  8. Cazzita

    Cazzita Registered User

    May 12, 2018
    511
    So sad. So bloody wrong and demoralising. Times have clearly changed and not for the better :(
     
  9. Cazzita

    Cazzita Registered User

    May 12, 2018
    511
    No, YOU have not let him down, the government have let people down very, very badly by robbing them blind after they have worked and saved all their lives. Yet when they need 'care' they have to pay for it all by selling their homes. Don't get me started... I think it's a disgrace and feel so angry about it myself yet nothing changes :(
    What can we do?
     
  10. Toony Oony

    Toony Oony Registered User

    Jun 21, 2016
    493
    Hi - I feel for you. Mum's paying over £1600 per week and has been for the last 2.5 years. Work that out and it's scary! You would need to earn over £100k pre tax to afford it.
    Thankfully downsizing a few years before dementia struck meant Mum had an apartment and savings.
    She wanted to leave her estate to me, her only child, but I suggested she left it to my only child instead, her only Grandchild. She readily agreed.
    Mum was happy and really thought she would be able to make a big difference to my daughter's life with this inheritance - and it would certainly have helped my daughter hugely.
    Pre-dementia I had to talk quite sternly to Mum as she was not spending on herself because she wanted my daughter to have as much as possible. As others have said, I think it is a generation thing.

    When Mum first needed a CH it was important that it was somewhere that looked nice for Mum and met my criteria in terms of efficiency and care. Now, I don't think Mum would notice, providing the staff were caring and kind - but I do not want to move her from the little that she still knows. I have carefully managed and topped up Mum's savings and they will last until Easter, the flat is in the process of being sold, which will buy about 2.5 years more I think. The stage Mum is at now, I think we have enough to see her through.

    If Mum knew all this she would be absolutely heartbroken that all the scrimping and saving when she and my lovely Dad were younger will not be a legacy to help those she loves. Also, that a lifetime's work and saving could be chomped through so quickly, through an illness that is no fault of hers.
     
  11. booziefluziesuzie

    booziefluziesuzie Registered User

    Oct 16, 2017
    27
    Female
    Pontefract
    I think what we are all saying is its not just about the money - its about the unfairness and principle that our parents generation were encourage to work hard, buy their council homes and invest in occupational pensions. Home ownership for the working man was something to aspire to and my parents were so proud the day they bought their council house. And now they are near the end of their lives have an horrendous illness then the state has abandoned them.
     
  12. istherelight?

    istherelight? Registered User

    Feb 15, 2017
    112
    I wonder what will happen to the younger generations who cannot afford to buy a house - in many cases because older generations have had to spend everything on care and have nothing to pass on - when they need care?
     
  13. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    2,086
    Female
    East Midlands
    The system is at fault OP not you.
    I think it is daylight robbery to the old & infirm where they have worked hard all their lives & actually want to leave money to their children etc but then there is nothing left to leave.
    It’s criminal that we are spending so much money on Brexit or not in this situation.
     
  14. Xeenies

    Xeenies Registered User

    May 19, 2014
    77
    I wish it was only £3400 a month in
    Sussex! Most homes minimum £1200-£1400 per week! LA rates no more than £900 so if you don’t go with their choice the top ups are huge!!
     
  15. Jaded'n'faded

    Jaded'n'faded Registered User

    Jan 23, 2019
    514
    Female
    High Peak
    I think the cost of care - and that you have to pay yourself - comes as a shock to many. As people are living longer, there is often a need to fund care for several years and often this means selling 'the family home' rather than passing it on to children on death.

    This will surely have repercussions in the future. Young people are already struggling to get on the housing ladder and they are unlikely to receive a big chunk of money when their parents die, as has been the case in the past. Add to that the fact that many young people do not have any sort of work pension and don't save any money.... These same young people will be paying taxes to pay for care for their parents as needs - and numbers - increase too. Phew.

    As bad as things are now, I think a bigger crisis is looming.

    (We're all doomed. Doomed, I tell you!)
     
  16. Jamesw46

    Jamesw46 Registered User

    Sep 11, 2019
    33
    #16 Jamesw46, Sep 13, 2019
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2019
    I have no idea if I will inherit anything but if mum does have to go in to a home,thank God property prices have risen so much in this country to help her
     
  17. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    16,128
    Toronto, Canada
    My mother was first in a retirement home for 2 1/2 years and then in a nursing home for 13 years. I calculate that we spent something like £250,000 for the home fees in that time. I don't think it's that bad for 15 1/2 years. My sister and I always assumed Mum's money was hers. We bought new clothes regularly, as the hot water the laundry used wreaked havoc on her clothes. We also wanted her to look good. I remember one staff member being so impressed with the clothing Mum had.

    I must say I am always shocked by the costs of nursing homes in the UK. Here retirement homes can, and do, charge what they like but nursing homes are under the jurisdiction of the provincial government. As such, they have standards to meet and the costs are regulated and indeed set by the government. All nursing homes cost the same, regardless of where they are. Yes, there is always room for improvement but overall, it's fairly good.
     
  18. Jaded'n'faded

    Jaded'n'faded Registered User

    Jan 23, 2019
    514
    Female
    High Peak
    Hi @Canadian Joanne , it sounds like Canada have some good arrangements in place with the costs of nursing homes. Can I ask (if you know!) what the rules are regarding self-funding? Are the savings allowances similar, and the rules on selling your house?

    Just wondered. It would be interesting to hear 'the rules' in other countries and how they compare to here...
     
  19. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    16,128
    Toronto, Canada
    I can only speak for Ontario, as each province is different.

    For nursing homes, there are no rules regarding self-funding or saving allowances or selling houses that I am aware. But and this is the big but, every resident in a nursing home is subsidized to a certain extent. Here's what the official line is - much easier for me and more accurate too.:) https://www.ontario.ca/page/about-long-term-care#section-0

    So essentially a resident pays room and board. If a person cannot afford even a basic room, they will apply for a larger subsidy but I don't know how that works. The Ministry of Health will then fill in the financial gap but only for a shared room.

    Accommodation in a nursing home is based on need, not price. Everyone pays the same, if they are self-funding, depending on the room they opt for. It's all about qualifying on a medical basis.

    Hope this helps.
     
  20. Sirena

    Sirena Registered User

    Feb 27, 2018
    1,793
    Female
    Actually this IS in Sussex (it's a dementia care home, if you need dementia + nursing that does cost more). I believe the LA rate is only about £450. If it was £900 my mother's care home would still be accepting LA clients - they stopped accepting them a few years ago because the LA no longer pays enough for the standard of care they want to provide.

    When my mother's money runs out (if she's still alive) she will have to go wherever the LA decides, I won't be paying a top up.
     

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