1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

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4 weeks on and I should be counting my blessings

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by sammyb, Dec 12, 2007.

  1. sammyb

    sammyb Registered User

    Sep 19, 2007
    It is 4 weeks now since my laddo came home. He is still lying in a darkened room and not interacting much but accepts the carers and isn't abusive with me any more - so long as I don't 'push' him too hard. He is cooperative at getting up time and loves to be tucked up in bed by the time the sun goes down and isn't wandering or anything like that. We are almost upto three solid meals a day, 2000 calories and 1.5 litres of drink which is such a huge improvement on when he was in hopsital. He seems content and nothing seems to trouble him at all. My word should I be counting my blessings! But I keep being overtaken by feelings of great sadness. I don't know if I thought some magic wand would cast a spell as soon as he came home from hospital and that everything would suddenly by put right again. The problem is mine not his. Whilst he lies on his bed, content but no longer able to remember the person he was, I can and that hurts so much. Yesterday it was my birthday (and thank you Alzheimer's Society for my birthday message) and I asked him if he knew it was my birthday and he replied 'No' and said nothing else. The person he was would never have left a 'Happy Birthday' go unsaid. But, he did give me a great birthday present. He drank from a glass for the first time and not through a straw. So I must count my blessings because there are so many - if only the tears wouldn't get in the way.

    Love from Sammyb
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Dear Sammy

    Please put your birthday on the calendar. You access it on the narrow Green bar at the top of the page.

    You do have some blessings to count it`s true. A peaceful and contented husband, an improved eating and drinking routine, these are blessings indeed.

    We are now thankful for the tiniest improvements in our lives, but the deep sadness is there for all of us and will never go away. Tears flow over the silliest things, some of them not even personal to us, but just generally sentimental.

    Count the blessings Sammy, but don`t suppress the tears. They are a safety valve.

    Love xx
  3. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    Belated happy birthday sammy.

    You are indeed counting your blessings. I can read them in the words you have posted here about your lovely 'laddo'.

    As Sylvia says "don't suppress the tears", for mixed in them are the threads of joy at having him home.

    You have achieved wonders in just 4 weeks. Take care now. cake2.gif

    Thought you might need a slice or two.;);)
  4. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Belated birthday wishes, Sammy. You're doing wonders for your laddo.

    Of course you cried, so did I on my birthday. Emotions are never far from the surface, and special days are so painful.

    Best wishes,
  5. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    Just want to add my belated birthday wishes. I think you have done wonderful things with your 'laddo' over the past four weeks - for which you deserve so much praise. You are in the right place here for understanding about the sadness that comes with this dreadful illness - but as you say it is good also to
    count our blessings.

    Take care Jan

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